Nuisance Goose wants to be a king. He feels destined to rule, but so far nobody has seen fit to offer the goose a chance.
That is, until today.
Trouble has come to the human Kingdom of Irritania. The lonely Princess Calliope blares away on her tuba, wishing for a prince to marry. The animals of nearby Lake Dumwell, her unknowing victims, cry out for deliverance. They demand a solution from Eider, King of the Ducks, who decrees that anyone who can gain the off-key princess a husband in one week may have his crown.
Nuisance glad accepts the challenge, even with the ducks promising to plug Calliope's tuba with him if he fails--or worse. With all the confidence that a naive young goose has he starts off on his quest. Nuisance is aided by King Eider's overeager duck knight, Sir Boswell, along with a gruff wizard's owl named Eramsus. Together they travel through the Particularly Appalling Swamp of Certain and Horrible Death where they meet a tasteful troll named Theodoric, who leads them to Quintillian, the captive prince of the Kingdom of Blandenburg.
Nuisance outsmarts the goblins that have Quintillian prisoner (though that's not saying much) and after the prince puts Nuisance and his friends to sleep with one of his trademark Blandenburgian stories, the prince agrees to go with them back to Irritania. Princess Calliope is thrilled to see Quintillian and all that remains is for the prince to ask Calliope's father, King Berthold, for her hand in marriage.
That's exactly where things get dicey.
Berthold isn't pleased to see Quintillian at all--the kingdoms of Irritania and Blandenburg have a running feud that's been going for decades now. The bland but sincere prince ends up in the dungeon, where he'll be held until the next night. Then they'll cut off his head, draw and quarter him, burn him at the stake and bury him at the crossroads with a stake through his heart. Irritanians are nothing but thorough.
A distraught Princess Calliope comes and begs Nuisance's help, who devises one of his famous brilliant plans. Will Nuisance be able to save Prince Quintillian, end Calliope's sadness and save the sanity of Irritania's animals? Nuisance is convinced he can.
