Break Number Two - Sewernose Breaks Something and Tammy begins her campaign...

::Finding a suitable rope that wasn't connected to anything vital, the cloaked figure grabbed it and swung down to the stage, landing right behind the podium. Instantly a trapdoor opened beneath, sending the mysterious figure into the depths below. The audience saw none of this, as the next presenter was entering from the rear of the auditorium. From beneath the floorboards of the stage came muffled voices, completely inaudible beneath the roar of the crowd::

Voltaire: Oh, sure, this was a fine plan!

Euripides: Must be a tough room.

Sewernose: I think I sprained something...


::There it was. The exit, his salvation, not ten feet away and all he had to do was to make it through the milling crowd of Rangerphiles, fanfic characters, and poultry::

He: I should be able to knock most of them down if they get in my way.

::He prepared for the short sprint to safety. However, just as he was pushing off of the back wall in order to gain extra speed, a small, yet strong hand gripped him by the shoulder. He yelled in fright as the hand proceeded to haul him around to face…. Tammy?::

Tammy: Hi, SomeGhol!

::The twentyish Rangerphile immediately goes into panic::

SomeGhol: What are you doing?

::Tammy grins, holding up a sprig of mistletoe, and plants a big kiss on the startled writer before he can even think of a plan to evade her. Tammy quickly breaks off, drops SomeGhol to the ground, and spirits off into the crowd to find her next victim::



International Award for Best Imagery

::In a big rush, a group of Pi-Rats runs onto the stage with a big, “ARRGH!” Their Captain, Jolly Rogers, pushes his way to the front. The crowd applauds them, remembering their performances in “Piratsy Under the Seas” and “Chipwrecked Shipmunks”::

Jolly Rogers: Arrgh, it be a grand pleasure ta be back amongst ye again! The Rangers be the sort of folks we Pi-Rats like, and all these fans are friends to the Pi-Rats as well!

::The crowd applauds in kind, then the Pi-Rat leader sets down to business. Or he would have, if Stormy hadn’t interrupted him::

Stormy: Captain, isn’t that a big, big owl up in the rafters?

Jolly Rogers: Arrgh, sure it be, matey! Don’t ye know she’s invited?

Stormy: Oh, okay. I just noticed she was looking mighty hungry. Think we ought to go get her a sandwich?

::The crowd laughs, and Jolly Rogers takes a swipe at Stormy with his butter knife::

Jolly Rogers: Belay that tomfoolery! On with the presenting! We’re here to award the award for Best Imagery. Those that made the final cut were:

Staten Island Park, by The J.A.M., from “Death of a Comedian”
The desert, by Aivars Liepa, from “A Fantasy General”

Jolly Rogers: And now, who be the winner…

::The chants are going already, as the audience sounds like a bunch of Mexican soccer fans::

Jolly Rogers: Arrgh, it be The J.A.M. all right!

::The band plays “Somewhere Out There” as the jaguar bounds down with the Mexican flag yet once again::

¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!!

::At the podium, he waits for the audience to hush, and when it does, he begins::

J.A.M.: And the funny thing is: I’ve never *been* to Staten Island!

::The audience laughs, and he continues::

J.A.M.: Well, my dad and big brother have been to New York City, but I don’t know if they went there. I know they went to Manhattan, though. Um, thanks a bunch to the National Geographic Atlas for getting my directions straight.

::The audience laughs again::

J.A.M.: And to John Nowak for correcting a few things about the weather in New York City. About the park itself, I had to draw as much information as I could muster about parks both in Mexico and the U.S., as well as drawing examples from movies that take place in New York. It was basically as best a composite as I could do, and well, I guess I did well!

::The audience claps and cheers, and he concludes::

J.A.M.: Thanks a lot for voting, and thanks to Aivars Liepa for his great imagery as well!! ¡¡Muchas gracias a todos!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO…!!!

::Waving his award and flag, he clears the stage. The Pi-Rats wave their butter knives and run off the stage as well::



International Award for Best Action Sequence

::A blast of tiny trumpets gets the audience’s attention. Two lines of drone bees in dress uniforms form a line from the curtain on stage left to the podium. Another blast of the trumpets, and Queen Honey Regina the Third appears, wearing a purple robe and dress, the robe with a white interior making a nice contrast. She also is wearing amber jewelry, and when the audience took a look on the close-up provided by the big screen they all give out remarks of awe and appreciation.

Honey gives her queenly wave and ends her slow procession at the podium. Several of the drones pull the microphone to where they have brought her a portable throne. She sits, never losing her royal aura::

Honey: Greetings to you all! I am so happy to be here with all you lovely people who adore me so!

::The audience claps, amid some giggling::

Honey: The life of a queen as you know is such a bother. We have so many duties to overlook, and the happiness of our swarm. Yet, I knew this evening would be lost without me, so I took time away from my impossible schedule to be here.

::The audience claps again, louder this time, humoring her. Honey raises a hand, and everyone stops::

Honey: Now, it is time to honor the nominees for the award for Best Action Sequence:

Lahwhinie eaten by the crabs, by Rem, from “Lahwhinie Goes Hawaiian”
The "Dogfight", by The J.A.M., from “Death of a Comedian”
“A Fantasy General”, by Aivars Liepa

::One of Honey’s drones brings her the envelope and two others tear it open for her. Aliwicious, her major domo, holds the note up for her to read::

Honey: Well, how about this! The winner is The J.A.M. again, for The “Dogfight” in “Death of a Comedian”!

::The band plays “I Want To Know What Love Is” as all the Rangers and all the bats, as well as Clarice, join The J.A.M. on his way to the stage::

¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!!

::Of course, they didn’t seem to be as exited as he was, especially since he was still waving his flag. However, he let them speak first::

Dale: Hey, didn’t we already do this?
Chip: We’re in the *International Categories*, dummy! The US ones haven’t come yet! Oh, oops…ignore that everyone.

Foxy: Hey, watch who you’re calling a dummy! He did a great job too in ‘A Fantasy General’!!

Dale: Waitaminit, *International*? Does this have something to do with what we did in Canc—

::ALL the Rangers clamp their paws and wings on Dale’s mouth before the innuendo can be finished::

Feyyanna: Nowe, Dayel. Theyes ess ‘cuss Thu J.A.Y.A.M. ain’t en Emmerickenn.

Richard: Well, *you* most certainly sound like one!

J.A.M.: Yes, he does. Here, I’d like to thank Mr. Grissom, AGAIN, for letting me use Otis, and for all the couples I know in real life who provided the inspiration of the bat couples. Also, thanks to Jack Hannah for creating Chip, Dale, and *Clarice*!”

Clarice: Oh, you all love me!!

Rosie: Yes, we love you so much we all cheered when that owl lady pinned your back.

Zipper: Oh? How about when you got lapidated, along with the rest of the bats?

Monty: Hey, action is action, mates!

J.A.M.: Yes, and thanks for all the feedback I got for that segment. With all the emotions it brought forth from the audience, well, I guess we all did very well, don’t you think so?

::The Rangers and bats and Clarice agree. The J.A.M. waves his award and flag::

J.A.M.: Gracias a todos. ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!!

::With that, the group clears the stage again. Honey and her escort slowly depart amid the tiny trumpet blasts, Honey giving her queenly wave again::



International Award for Best Short Story

::The band starts up with “The Candy Man” and a rotund German-accented fellow in green lederhosen comes out. It is Heinrich Von Sugarbottom, the confectionary criminal from “Chocolate Chips”. The human seems quite happy, and heads for the podium, eating a chocolate bunny::

Heinrich: Wilkommen, and be happy! That is my new motto, friends, for I have long since given up the criminal tendencies I once had. Now, I have my own TV show, “Happy Cooking with Heinrich”! Check your local listings!

::The audience murmurs and Heinrich continues::

Heinrich: I am ever so happy to be presenting the award for Best Short Story. I like the stories; they are ever-so-fun to read! But one must be best, yah? So, let us see. The nominees are:

“Chip + Gadget = Yes”, by Roman Bulygin (translated by Aivars Liepa)
“Lahwhinie Goes Hawaiian”, by Rem
“Let's Suppose Chip&Dale Behaved Slightly Differently After The Kidnapping”, by The J.A.M.

::Heinrich takes the envelope, putting down his chocolate first::

Heinrich: Now we see the winner is…himmel! A tie between them all! Ach, they tell me that Roman and Rem are stranded at the flughafen, and cannot be here. They say thanks to all for the nice award. But I think a certain jaguar will make up for their absence….

¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!!

::Calming down at the podium as the band plays “Edge Of My Heart”, one minute later the onça gasps for breath::

J.A.M.: Golly, that’s eleven in a row! Well now, I guess…that the BIGGEST thanks of all now…goes to none other than Roy Neal Grissom once again…

::He gets a bit emotional now::

J.A.M.: I just want to say that…I had a lot of doubts in writing this story, after all it only took me a week! But the thing is…that…well…after I read Mr. Grissom’s ‘Consummation’, alternate scenarios just began occurring to me, and…well…I submitted the story to him before anyone else saw it…and…I gave him the option of accepting or rejecting the story…

::He sighs emotionally::

J.A.M.: …if Mr. Grissom had disapproved, this story might have never seen the light of day, and it would still be sitting in my hard disk today…and neither ‘Death Of A Comedian’, ‘I Dream Of The New Ranger’, or Joseph Sturch’s ‘Heroes’ (currently in production), would have materialized, along with Jeff Wikstrom’s ‘The Mole’, a tangent off John Nowak’s ‘Sovereign’.

::The J.A.M. pauses, catching his breath again::

J.A.M.: Um, look, I know that this is the International Categories, but…Mr. Grissom practically wrote *half* this story first, which is why it only took me a week to write the rest. So come up here and say a few words!!”

::Man-Child waves from the audience, but declines to come forward. The J.A.M. tries twice to encourage him, but the modest fellow waives him off so the jaguar concludes::

J.A.M.: ¡¡Muchas gracias a todos!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO…!!!

::Waving his award and flag, he leaves the stage again. Heinrich continues eating his chocolate until someone waves him offstage::



International Award for Best Drama

::With a noise that sounded like a siren, a mature dog dressed in an blue pullover sweater takes the stage. The crowd rises to its feet, because Plato has just given his siren howl. Detective Drake comes back out and helps Plato ascend to the podium via a stepladder::

Plato: Well, I think it’s been a smashing success so far, don’t you think?

::The crowd looks over to The J.A.M.’s seat, where he’s covered in trophies, the lot being too much for the wheelbarrow even::

Plato: Only two more awards in the story category to go, and I’m here to award the Golden Acorn for Best Drama. Quite a feather in the cap of any author who can lay claim to it, so let’s see who will win, shall we? The nominees are:

“Chip + Gadget = Yes”, by Roman Bulygin (translated by Aivars Liepa)
“Death of a Comedian”, by The J.A.M.
“Lahwhinie Goes Hawaiian”, by Rem
“Sisters”, by Aivars Liepa

::Dale runs over and grabs The J.A.M.’s Mexican flag, resting atop the pile of awards, and begins waving it furiously::

Dale: He’s got it! Give it to him, Plato!

::Plato waits while the crowd laughs and settles down::

Plato: Dash it all, Dale, wait for the announcement! The winner is The J.A.M., for “Death of a Comedian”.

¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!!

::As the jaguar bounds down to the stage, the band plays “In My Arms Again”, well, again. Once the audience has hushed and he has his award, The J.A.M. takes the podium. Drake brings out a second wheelbarrow::

Drake: You’re gonna need something to haul all those away in!

J.A.M.: Everyone’s a comedian…

::The audience chuckles, and the jaguar takes the podium::

J.A.M.: Well, that’s twelve in a row, so like I told Indy: I didn’t know being a Mexican could be so rewarding! I think I’m going to take Indy’s advice and build myself a bigger bookshelf! Well, what else can I say? I think I thanked everyone already, um…

::The audience chuckles a bit::

J.A.M.: Hey, I know. This time I’d like to thank *again* Roy Neal Grissom for requesting this story and for letting me use a lot of elements he created, and Natasha Kashefipour for all the effort she did to provide vital information. Well, I guess I’d also like to thank Michael W. Smith, James Horner and Barry Mann, Martha Sánchez, Mack David and Jerry Livingston, Madeline Hyde and Francis Henry, Sting, Foreigner, Jon Secada, Bonnie Tyler, John Williams, Patrick Hernandez, Wrigley’s, Bette Midler, Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes, and Michael
Bolton. All these artists provided a LOT (nearly 45 minutes of playing time!!) of wonderful music for this story, and a lot of inspiration as well, and thanks to everyone who voted. Thanks also to the Aivars Liepa, Roman Bulygin, and Rem, for their stories in this category as well! ¡Gracias!

::Raising the award, and the flag, he leaves the stage::

J.A.M.: ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO…!!!

::Drake and the others laugh, as now it seems to be becoming a real habit. The police dog thanks everyone, and heads for the curtain::



International Award for Best Author

::The lights dim and the band starts to play the theme from “James Bond” again. A huge human in a white suit and two big and evil-looking lackeys come out on stage. Dale jumps up from his seat::

Dale: Gasp! It’s Dr. So-So!

::Then from the other side of the stage come two humans, one tall and debonair, one short and ready to fight::

Dale: All right! It’s Dirk Suave, Superspy, and his able right-hand assistant Oddshoe!

::The girls in the audience all scream—yes, even Gadget—and Dirk smiles and nods their way. Then Dr. So-So gets his attention again::

Dr. So-So: You won’t get to present any award tonight, Meeester Suave. My friends and I will see to that!

Dale (from the audience): BOOOOO!

::Chip bonks him::

Oddshoe: Dirk, what will we do?

Dirk: So, So-So, you think you can keep me from awarding this Golden Acorn for Best Author, do you? We shall see…

::So-So and his minions run at Suave, but he uses his secret agent belt rope to ascend up into the rafters—no, not near Strigidæ. The villains gather below, and from his handkerchief pocket Suave throws out his red silk handkerchief, which enlarges to become a net. The bad guys are captured, and Suave and Oddshoe head for the podium. The girls all scream again, particularly Tammy, who has to be held back::

Dirk: I’m ever so pleased to be here with all of you. We superspies get so little time for official functions like this, but when we can it’s a real pleasure.

::Tammy breaks free from Chip and Dale’s grip, runs up on stage and smooches Dirk in front of everyone. The crowd laughs at Dirk’s predicament until a taller squirrel stands up—Donna, her mother, to be exact::

Donna: Tammy Elizabeth Chesnutt! What in the world are you doing!?

::Tammy looks into the audience and blushes::

Tammy: Oh. Oops?

::The crowd breaks out in laughter, and Dirk takes it in stride::
Dirk: It’s quite all right, ma’am. Happens all the time.

::Tammy leaves the stage, not liking the look in her mother’s eye, and Dirk continues::

Dirk: And now, the nominees for Best Author:

Aivars Liepa
The J.A.M.

Dale: I bet I know who it is! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!!
¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO…!!!

::The crowd laughs again, as Dale cavorts up and down the aisles with The J.A.M.’s flag. Dirk smiles and continues::

Dirk: The Best Author Acorn goes to—yes, it’s The J.A.M.!

::Once more, the jaguar roars, and everyone joins him::

¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!!

::As he runs down to the stage, the band plays Michael W. Smith’s “Somebody Love Me”. He arrives at the podium, still chanting, and he takes his award. Finally, he hushes again, and waits for the audience to hush as well::

J.A.M.: Golly…

::He has to take another minute to calm down and catch his breath::

J.A.M.: I thought the European competition was going to fly over me…um…wow…

::He looks in front of him::

J.A.M.: I’d like to thank everyone of my family for supporting me in my writing hobby, everyone of the Rescue Ranger community for asking me to write, and for enjoying my stories as well, but most of all I’d like to thank two wonderful authors, one of which is no longer with us…

::The audience hushes suddenly::

J.A.M.: Thanks to Charles Mendelsonn Schultz (of whom I had a dream the night before I wrote this, believe it or not), and Joaquín Salvador Lavado ‘Quino’, for the comic strips ‘Peanuts’ and ‘Mafalda’. Both were introduced to me when I was five years old, and they triggered the spark in me to begin writing fanfiction. Also, I’d like to thank William Hanna [a moment of silence again] and Joseph Barbera for the series ‘The Biskitts’, because it was that show that began a fanfic that I wrote on and off for 11 years, all *handwritten*, mind you, and helped me get the writing experience I needed.

Also, thank you to Douglas Adams [silence], yes, thanks for all the fish, wherever you are, and to Brian Jacques, because they, too, influenced my style in a wonderful way. Finally, I’d like to thank Michael ‘Questy’ Demcio, Robert ‘Robo|\|erd’ Hollingshead, Don Weatherwax, and Roy
Neal Grissom, for all their fanfics, which kinda coaxed me into remaining in the community, but most of all, Roy Neal Grissom for his fanfics ‘Home Is Where You Hang Upside-Down’ and ‘Consummation’, for triggering my talent once more that began with a tangent fanfic that blossomed into what everyone here has enjoyed greatly.

Also, a very special mention to Aivars Liepa, Rem, and Ruslan, for being wonderful authors themselves!

::With that, he takes his award, holds it up high, holds the Mexican flag up high as well, and chants with the crowd::

ALL: ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO…!!!

::Dirk and Oddshoe applaud the jaguar as he leaves the stage, to figure out how he is going to ship all those awards home, and turn their attention to their captured adversaries. They drag them off, net and all, with the ladies all screaming their approval::



International Award for Oustanding Achievement

::The orchestra plays “Luck Be a Lady Tonight” and a bespectacled human of slight built comes out with red hair and a red moustache. It’s Clyde Cosgrove, the inventor of the Meal-O-Matic who had lost his confidence until Gadget helped him regain it. He starts counting the square tiles making up the stage floor until he gets to the thirteenth one and jumps it, causing the audience to laugh::

Clyde: Just playing it safe…

::The audience laughs again, and Clyde approaches the podium::

Clyde: Hello, everyone! I’ve not let luck run my life the way I did since I met the Rangers, and I’ve had quite a few successes. For instance…

::Clyde pulls out what looks like an ordinary fountain pen. He clicks the end of it, and it telescopes out then widens to show that it’s actually a portable light-up screen::

Clyde: My latest invention, the porta-screen!

::The audience applauds and as Clyde speaks out the names of the nominees, they light up on his screen::

Clyde: The nominees for Outstanding Achievement are:

Chris "Dale" Birkett


::The short hooded man’s attention is captured in an instant as he fumes in hiding backstage::

NINMUL: Outstanding achievement?! What outstanding achievement? Who else has more outstanding achievements than me?? Oooh! I should be getting an award like that!

::And once again the short little figure thinks and ponders the matter. Then the light of inspiration comes over him::

Nimnul: Yes, that’s it exactly...

::He rubs his hands together as his eyes narrow in an evil scheming grimace of glee::


Clyde: Now, to see who won…

::Clyde opens the envelope::

Clyde: By Edison, it’s Ruslan!

::The audience stands and applauds as Gadget comes out to accept the award::

Gadget: Golly, I thought the J.A.M. should’ve gotten it just for not getting hoarse!

::The jaguar laughs and waves, and the audience laughs too::

Gadget: Anyway, Ruslan sends his best to everyone and he says they’ve managed to rent a snowplow to get back to their homes from the airport. Jeepers, that’s a great idea—the Ranger SnowPlow! Maybe I could put ejection seats in it and—

::Indy catches Gadget’s attention from offstage and gets her back on track::

Gadget: Oh, right. Anyway, Ruslan says that he’s very humbled by this award and that it makes all the effort he’s gone to worthwhile. Thanks, everyone!

::Gadget takes the trophy off with her, and Indy and Rennod return to the podium::

Indy: That’s it for the International segment, folks. The U.S. portion starts up in a few hours.

Rennod: Do you think it’ll be as one-sided?

Indy: With all the competition there, not likely.

Dr. Batorious (announcing): Please remember to take all valuables with you. If you are staying for the U.S. and Special Awards, the city tours will begin in fifteen minutes. Outbound people and animals will find courtesy cabs waiting for them to take them to the airport. Now we leave you with a trailer for an all-new story by Rennod—Internet users may join in by clicking here . Good afternoon, and we look forward to seeing you back for the United States Awards at seven central. You’ll find those awards in a new thread.

::As the trailer rolls, several Rangerphiles watch it from the back of the room, then head for home. Others sit and talk with the Rangers or mix with fanfic characters. The orchestra plays the Ranger theme song::

Katie: And there you have it, folks. The Mexican juggernaut The J.A.M. has swept most of the International categories. Oh, here he comes now!

::The J.A.M. and several of his fanfic characters are hauling his awards out to a U-Haul van that’s been rented for them::

Katie: J.A.M., how does it feel to be so well-appreciated?

::The jaguar smiles toothily::

J.A.M.: Just wonderful, Katie! Hi, everyone at home!

::Katie watches as they start loading up the truck::

Katie: Well, that’s it from here. We’ll rejoin coverage in a few hours. This is Katie Courier, signing off…



Final Break--End of International Ceremony

::As the trailer plays, from under the stage comes the muffled voices again::

Voltaire: So, you think you've got it now, do you?

Euripides (snickering): I'm sure it's a fine plan.

Sewernose: It can't miss! I'll pop up through the trapdoor, and surprise everyone with my appearance, then dazzle them with my performance!

Voltaire: Either that or look really foolish...

Euripides: Ah, my money's on that one, too.

Sewernose: Doubters! Critics! Watch and learn!

Announcer: And that concludes the International Awards portion of our Program. We'll now take a short break while preparing for the remainder of the ceremony.

::As the audience leaves to go mingle and indulge in the buffet, bar, and breakfast (for those who flew in from abroad for the occasion,) a mysterious cloaked figure bounds up through the trapdoor behind the podium. The stage curtain, on the other hand, bounds downwards to the stage. The meeting was very brief and one-sided::

Sewernose: Ack! What has happened?

::All that is visible from under the curtain are the heads of Euripides and Voltaire, and the end of Sewernose’s snout::

Euripides: Well, we watched and learned.

Voltaire: I watched a curtain fall down on us.

Euripides: And I learned it's very heavy and immobilizing.

Sewernose: This is not the curtain call I expected!

Voltaire: It's the one I expected you to get.

Euripides: At least he's on the stage now...sort of…

Proceed to Part 4