Best Use of a Recurring Series Character


::The music swells as two spotlights appear at both sides of the stage and follow Ice and TS as they make their way to the center podium. A screen descends behind them, the category: “Best Use of Recurring Character in Cannon” is displayed. There is a rustling out in the audience as Ice begins his speech::


Ice:  We are proud to present this year’s award for “Best Use of Recurring Character in Cannon.” It’s easy to see why people are still fired up about the show after all these years. It’s ‘da bomb,’ it’s…


::A cannon, reminiscent of ones seen in the circus, rolls out from stage left. Race pops his head out from it, lights a rather long fuse, and waves before ducking down into it::


TS: Race?! What on earth are you doing in there?!


Ice (calmly): This is for “Recurring Character in Cannon”


::TS looks puzzled until he turns and sees the screen behind him::


TS: Um, Ice, I think there may be something wrong there…


Ice: Well, see he keeps recurring in these ceremonies and messing things up. I’d say that makes him a recurring character.


TS: Yes, but… this is for Recurring in Canon.


Ice (pointing to the cannon): Right… Cannon… and?




::TS spins Ice around so he can see the error on the screen and whispers the difference between ‘Canon’ and ‘Cannon’ to Ice::


Ice: OK, you got me there.


::They both then notice the fuse growing ever shorter. Not wanting any more damage to the ship done than necessary, they spin the cannon and point it offstage. The fuse disappears into the barrel and Race is propelled off stage… and off the ship… into one of the guns of the nearby [i]Texas[/i]::


Ice: Ooh, that couldn’t have felt good.


TS: Oh, I think he’s survived worse. I wonder if the Texas knew what hit her?


::There is silence in the hall following the sudden explosion.  A cell phone vibrates. Attention focuses on the [i]Texas[/i]’ captain “Severe Weather” Eddie. He attempts to whisper, but the sound carries well in the hall::


Eddie: What do you mean you’re taking fire? … [i]From where[/i]? … Something lodged in the barrel? … Well go ahead and clear it then.


::He smiles as he closes the phone and a faint call to general quarters is heard before a thunderous explosion. Race shoots back into the theatre, and back into the barrel of the cannon just as the presentation is about to continue::


Ice: Oh, so that’s how they want to play is it?


::Ice walks back to the cannon and fires the unsuspecting Race back toward the [i]Texas[/i]::


Ice (looking at TS who is patiently waiting to finish the segment): What? He always said he wanted to go to Texas!


::The audience laughs::


TS: I don’t think that’s quite what he had in mind. Now then (to the people in the projectionist's room) how about fixing the spelling there?


::The lettering on the screen is quickly replaced with its proper form as another thunderous blast returns Race to the room::


TS: Everyone has their idea of how the Rangers work together and we are fortunate to have seen their development over time. With many different Rangerverses, we have seen relationships flower from the basis set in Canon.


Race (hearing the word ‘relationships’ from inside the cannon): OH, ME AND SARA!


TS: Could someone do a spell check on the platypus please?


::Ice fires the cannon once more::


TS: Thank you you think he’s getting frequent flyer miles for that?


::Ice shrugs with a smile on his face as the audience laughs again::


TS: You know what? This award is for the best use of a character from the series. Let’s just clear things up here. You guys up in the tech room know where I’m going with this?


::The screen again changes to read [b]Best Use of a Recurring [i]Series[/i] Character[/b]::


TS: Better. Thank you. Isn’t that what Doctor Indy had in the first place? … Ice?


::Ice tries to look innocent and whistles. Indy smirks at stage right and shakes his head. Another thunderous explosion propels Race back into the theatre, though this time his shirt snags on the lighting above the stage and alters his path, tossing him into the audience, and into the arms of a certain artistic mouse::


TS: All done with your game of platy-pong, Ice?


Ice (chuckling): Yes.


Indy (stage right, sighing): Reciprocity boys, reciprocity…


TS: Then get back over here before they run us off stage. *ahem* You see, it is from the series itself that we find some of our most beloved characters and it is in maintaining their spirit that we present this award for Best Use of a Recurring Series Character


Ice: And the nominees are:


Officers Kirby and  Muldoon in “Tears for the Devil" by Bubbles' Big Brother

Chip in “Dry Bones” by L. Cranston

Dale in “Gliding Light” by Lilacstarprint

Fat Cat in “Requiem for a Reprobate” by Mr. Spumoni

Chip, Dale & Gadget in "'Tomorrow' Is For 'Never'", by Gyrotank

Gadget in "Time Waits for No One", by Mayhem

Professor Nimnul in “Tears for the Devil" by Bubbles' Big Brother


::TS pulls an envelope from the pocket of his tuxedo::


TS: The winner is Fat Cat, in “Requiem for a Reprobate” by Mr. Spumoni!


::“Psycho” by Puddle of Mudd once more begins to play, and Spumoni stands and adjusts himself smiling as he does so.


Yet as he takes his first step out into the aisle he is suddenly pushed aside and sent sprawling into his seat as a large figure rushes down the aisle.


Fat Cat himself, fresh from his current nefarious attempt to illegally obtain some Golden Acorns comes to the stage, twirling his whiskers as he does so. Snatching up the GA from the stunned presenter he bows then proceeds with an acceptance speech::


Fat Cat (contented): Ah, finally! Recognition for my long and over-looked contribution to the continuation of this bizarre little fandom. I should like to thank no one for this award, as I have fought my way to my current station purely as an act of self-contrition and through stubborn tenacity--


::As he speaks, Spumoni, rubbing his head, approaches and stands on the stage::


Spu: That’s mine.


::Fat Cat stops in mid sentence and stares down at the rat::


Fat Cat: Pardon?


Spu: That’s mine. You see, it’s not an award for you, but an award I’ve won for telling your story.


::Fat Cat stares at the rat for a long time. Spumoni arches an eyebrow. Fat Cat wheels about and stares at the audience, and seeing no sympathy there rubs the bridge of his nose::


Fat Cat: That—(he says with a sigh, handing the Golden Acorn over to Spumoni)—hardly seems fair.”


Spu (frowning): One would think you’d be used to disappointment by this point.


Fat Cat: You have no idea.


::The vast cat leaves the stage. Spumoni watches him go, then hoists high the Golden Acorn. As the crowd applauds he leaves the stage. Ice and TS prepare to as well, then a certain someone stands before them::

Race: Hey guys, I’ve called over to the [i]Texas[/i]. Eddie’s ready for gunnery practice and needs more ammo. I told him I knew a couple of good volunteers...



::TS and Ice run for it, with Race hot on their heels. They breeze right past Indy, who moves not a muscle until they’re well past::

Indy (chuckling to himself): Rookies...okay, clean it up for the next one!