Best Song Parody

 

::Zaptiftun, dressed uncharacteristically in a suit, steps nervously up to the podium and adjusts the microphone slightly before starting::

 

Zap: Um...uh, hello all, I'm, uh, presenting the Acorn Award for Best Song Parody tonight. Uh, sorry that I'm really nervous about this, this is the first time I've presented a Golden Acorn and uh...

 

Voice from the audience: Yeah! Go Zap!

 

Zap: You're not helping any, Race!

 

::Still, the flying squirrel smirks in spite of himself as he unfolded the nominees list, spotlights illuminating each person::

 

Zap: And the nominees for Best Song Parody are...

 

We Keep Alive the Fire! by Mayhem,

Theme from On A Wingnut and A Prayer by Gyrotank,

Ranger Plane by Midnight Man,

and Welcome to the Cafe by Racebest!

 

::Amidst the cheering, Tammy comes up and hands Zap the winner's envelope and stands next to the podium as he, in an attempt to be clever, addresses her::

 

Zap: Tammy, uh, would care to do the honors and open the envelope so we can find out who the winner or winners are?

 

Tammy: Oh sure!

 

::In a sudden, single fluid motion, the squirrelette whips out a rather large knife and slices off the top of the envelope and slips the knife back into its sheath. Zap, along with several others, stare in shock and awe at the display::

 

Tammy: I took some self-defense classes over the summer.

 

Zap: That was very cool and yet at the same time very frightening. Uh...oh, the winner for Best Song Parody is...Racebest for “Welcome to the Café”!

 

::At the sound of his name, Race jumps up in the air, sending popcorn flying.  He then hops over to the aisle and begins to rock out with a bunch of air-instruments.   Skipping forward, he high fives all the row sitters all the way up until he reaches the podium.

Race salutes the ceremony with a pair of “horns”::

 

Racebest: YEAHHHHH!  ROCK ON AC-CORN-CA-FE!!!!!!” 

 

::He hoists up his award::

 

Racebest: I’m ecstatic for winning this!  Late in 2008 I realized I hadn’t done much as far as CDRR works, and have always enjoyed writing song parodies.

 

::The lights go dim and a projector emits a huge picture of a platypus at a race track::

 

Racebest: As most of you know, I’m a huge race car fan.  A few years ago I began writing weekly song parodies having to do with the event of that week.  It always excited me to go back and change up the words.

 

::The picture changes to a platypus in front of the Acorn Café::

 

Racebest: Last year I wrote my first song parodies for CDRR, and while it took me long enough, I was able to get another cranking for this year!  When I wrote “Welcome to the Cafe”, several aspects were important to me.  One was giving the newbies something to enjoy, while still fully associating the Café as a whole.  And…

 

::He glances down at his award with a big smile::

 

Racebest: …looks like you guys enjoyed it!

 

::He holds up the award and the crowd goes wild.  Race settles back to the microphone, now with some cool shades::

 

Racebest: Now I have to thank some people while I’m up here.  First off, all of you!  This song parody is written for you.  There’s also someone very special I have to give a shout out too…

 

::The entire audience turns to look at Sara, as she sits blushing and waving back at Race::

 

Racebest: …Sara!  Thanks for everything!”

 

::He blows a kiss to her::

 

Racebest: I love you, babe!

 

::The crowd lets out an “Awww” and applauds again::

 

Racebest: Thanks for this one guys!  Look for more in 2009!

 

::Race then takes a few steps back and takes a stage dive that eventually plops him right back into his seat. Zap starts to leave but pauses when Tammy offers her arm::

 

Tammy: Well, aren't you offer a girl an escort off the stage?

 

Zap: Uhh....

 

::She takes his arm and starts for backstage and he looks back at the snickering crowd with a surprised and bewildered expression on his face before disappearing from view::