Best Original Female Character

 

::A head pops out from the side of the stage, checking that the coast was clear with a noticeable mouthing of the words "has he gone yet?" to a crew hand, before returning to duties in front of the audience::

 

Mayhem: Ah, that didn't quite go according to plan. I'll have the organisers make me another award in due course as replacement. But if all that has got you scratching your head and wondering what was going on, then I really suggest you go read "Time Waits For No One". I hear it has had excellent write-ups on a certain website!

 

::He winks in full knowledge to the audience in what he is implying::

 

Mayhem: This time I wanted to make someone far more true to life than a story normally heads toward. In real life there are generally no villains, no one actually sets out to do evil. Give or take. There tends to only be people with problems, struggling to solve them.

 

::There is polite clapping from the audience to this "proper" acceptance speech::

 

Mayhem: Now that's out of the way, it's on with the next category, Best Original Female Character. Women, huh? Where would us guys be without them? In a happier place, that's where!

 

::He chuckles to himself, as most of the male audience members laugh in unison. A few gets digs or visible glares from other halves for reacting::

 

Mayhem: I josh of course ladies. The realm of the Rescue Ranger universe has been invigorated and infused with the female essence over the years to which such characters are just as important as the male ones. To which I would now like to present a small montage of those closest to our hearts.

 

::The lights dim and the projection fires up behind him. The first image up happens to be Astrid, whereupon there is an almighty cheer from one person in the audience followed by raucous laughter from all. As the next image fades in some music kickstarts, namely Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl"::

 

::Understandably the biggest cheer is reserved for Gadget, although there's plenty of reaction to Tammy and Foxglove. Oddly enough there's an equal mix of cheers and boos for Lawhinie and far more support for Widget when shots of them come into view. Guess people just love a bad girl too. As the last image, that of Kan Sune, disappears the lights come back on::

 

Mayhem: That wasn't the music I ordered! Someone got confused with the last song parody I wrote...

 

::He looks simultaneously somewhat annoyed and amused, sighs, jokes and carries on with the presentation::

 

Mayhem: So yeah, a veritable feast of memorables, in one way or another. But who will join them? The nominations for Best Original Female Character are:

 

Melissa from Diamonds in the Desert by Midnight Man

Tamara Knight from Time Waits for No One by Mayhem

Abbess Brantalis from Return to Destiny by RangerReady

Lori Berkowitz from Small Change by Indy and Chris Silva

Ms. Emily from Heart by Saraggle

 

Mayhem: A short list by comparison, but then again, it's all about the stories that are written. Gadget, Foxglove and Tammy are three completely different ladies in canon for starters, and needless to say they will get used for many varied situations. Who has the chance to be uttered in the same breath as them? The award thus goes to...

 

::Mayhem opens the envelope::

 

Mayhem: Melissa from “Diamonds in the Desert” and Ms. Emily from “Heart”!

 

::Midnight Man comes up on stage, appearing mildly surprised::

 

Midnight: Heh, a fanfic award for me... It's still something to get used to, although Diamonds In The Desert already won something last year. You know, this award can mean two things. Either there was hardly any competition this time, or there are quite a few Melissa fans out there. I mean, yes, she's certainly worth liking. She's beautiful, she's intelligent, she's of Japanese descent, she can play the violin amazingly well, and she still scores decently on most Mary Sue Litmus Tests.

 

::The audience chuckles, many of them knowingly, having such characters themselves::

 

Midnight: I'd mention now that she isn't single anymore, in case someone takes worshipping too far, but then again, Widget Hackwrench is married, and that doesn't stop anyone either. You can hope to see her again in another story, by the way, for I've got early plans for a DITD sequel to be written one day. Well, at least Diamonds part 1 won't enter the competition anymore, now that it's finally finished.

 

::The audience claps as Midnight raises his award and the shouts grow loud again as Saraggle comes up on stage::

 

Saraggle: Wow…

 

::Racebest claps and whistles from the audience::

 

Saraggle: I haven’t said anything yet!

 

Racebest (from the audience): Think that matters?!

 

::The audience laughs and Saraggle continues::

 

Saraggle: Truthfully I was extremely surprised that I was even nominated for this award; especially when this character, Ms. Emily, isn’t even close to being fully developed yet.

 

Though through my bewilderment, I am honored to have won this award, and I proudly accept it. I’m very happy to know that this certain Female character has already stood out in my story, and I really appreciate the people that take the time out of their days to read what I’ve written in my story so far. More to come, I promise! Thank you.

 

::Saraggle and Midnight wave to the crowd as they head offstage::

 

Mayhem: Can't say I'm too surprised there, most deserving winners.

 

::He remains glued in position as the next award is rolled out::