2008 GA Awards Introduction
::The scene fades in from black, with the banner of the 2008 Golden Acorn Awards showing. A segue brings us to Stan Blather, who’s wearing a tropical shirt and Bermuda shorts along with a Panama hat. The cruise ship [i]Wonder[/i] is in the background, as is the Red Carpet leading up to the ship::
Stan: Greetings, once again, and welcome to the 2008 Golden
Acorn Awards. I’m Stan Blather, your TV host. This year, the winds of
creativity were trade winds for the Rangers and Rangerphiles
as they have gathered here in this idyllic setting on a pristine island in the
Katie: Thanks, Stan. We’ve got people arriving from all over. I’ve never seen such a mix of strange vehicles and—oh, here comes someone in an interesting costume. Sir, could I have a moment?
::A very large, horned creature stops at the beginning of the Red Carpet, towering over Katie::
Katie: Yes, you. What’s your name?
Katie (slightly troubled): Uh, yes. And what brings you here?
Katie (more worried): Tacos…that’s…very interesting. Are you an Golden Acorn Awards finalist, by chance?
::Katie takes a few steps back, preparing to run::
Katie: I’ll take that as a yes. Back to you, Stan!
::Stan is on screen again, trying to look calm as Katie runs off the dock::
Stan: And that was Katie Courier. Now, here comes—hey!
::A large bus bumps Stan out of the way, then transforms into a tuxedo-wearing mouse::
GB: Out of the way, Stanford! Da Bus is takin’ over! Yeah!
::Greyhound Bus grabs the
microphone and runs right up the camera::
GB: Hey, everyone! Da Bus will make this intro hot!
::GB heads for the Red Carpet, where he finds Chip and Dr. Indy talking::
GB: Yo, the Chip Man and the Doc! Talk with Da Bus!
Chip: Hey there, everyone! Looks like a great turnout so far, and no major criminals around, as far as I can tell. Don’t worry, though. If any show up to try to steal the golden acorns or the Lifetime Achievement Award, the Rangers will be ready!
RangerReady: I thought that was my line.
Chip: We thought of it first.
GB: Hey Doc, speak to Da Bus!
::Indy waves to the camera, following Greyhound Bus around::
Indy: We’ve got a great show in store, Ranger fans. You’ll have to excuse me—there’s only about an hour to go now and lots of work behind the scenes yet. Thanks, GB.
::Greyhound Bus goes looking for
more people to interview. Stan Blather, now recovered, prepares to tackle him
but GB holds up his hand in a stop signal::
GB: No tackling today, Stan dude. Nobody musses the Da Bus’ threads!
::Stan walks over and snatches the
Stan: If you don’t mind?
GB: Can I be co-host?
Stan: I suppose.
GB: Yeah! Co-hosting with the mostin’!
::Stan faces the camera again, unaware that GB has his hand behind Stan’s head, making rabbit ears. The cameraman does his best not to laugh::
Stan: And that’s it for now from outside the [i]Wonder[/i]. When we return, we’ll go inside for the Emcee’s Welcome. This is Stan Blather—
GB (pushing in front): And Da Bus! Yeah!
Stan: --from the Golden Acorn Awards. We’ll be right back…