::The screen comes on, showing Stan Blather in a tuxedo, seated in his studio::


Stan Blather: Good evening and welcome to the 2007 edition of the Golden Acorn awards.  This grand celebration of talent and dedication has a worldwide following, and this year the Awards return to America in New York's Radio City Music Hall.  Katie Courier's outside the Hall right now for a live report.


::The scene segues to the exterior of Radio City Music Hall, its famous sign in the background, and Katie framed just underneath::


Katie:  Already the stars and contenders are gathering, and there's an electric atmosphere around here.  I've seen one of the dogs from Disney’s "Chicken Little" running around everywhere, filming the preparations and festivities.  And he's by no means alone.  Let's show you some footage of what we've seen so far…


::The scene segue to the Bronx where Rita and Dodger from "Oliver and Company" are having a Break Dance party with their friends to celebrate that the GA award are back in New York City, as the Russian Rangerphiles are having a celebration with folk music supplied by DJ Gwendolyn Katsche’s records::


::The next scene shows April O’Neil and some reporters from "Chicken Little" interviewing people outside Radio City Music Hall, as everyone is busy with setting up the show inside the building.  The scene segues back to Katie::


Katie: As you can see, the celebration's already on.  And now, I'd like to welcome our special celebrity hostess Joan Rivers who's at the red carpet where all the guests are coming into the Hall. Joan?


::The camera focuses in on front of the Radio City Music Hall where the red carpet, from the street to the entrance doors, is in place as ropes block off the sidewalk on both sides. Fans and photographers gather on the sidewalk and the announcer begins::

Stan Blather: Greetings and welcome to the sixth annual Golden Acorn Awards. I'm Stan Blather, reporting here just outside the Radio City Music Hall, the Showplace of the Nation and home to famous performances and gatherings since 1932. The vehicles are lined up as the Rangers and Rangerphiles pour out of them.

::The camera turns to Joan Rivers, who is dressed in a gold evening gown::

Joan: The Rangers have turned out to honor the best and the brightest the Acorn Café has to offer. And, oh my, this is fabulous!

::Joan, in her enthusiasm, wonders who will be the first to make his or her appearance::

Joan: Ah! Who's this? Who's this?

::Joan pauses and then continues with her signature of talking with her hands::

Joan: Who is this?

::The camera focuses on a splendid white 1936 Auburn stretch automobile::

Joan: Oh. It's the one, it's the only. . . . it's Dr. Indy!

::The crowd erupts in applause::

Joan: He has arrived in his restored white 1936 Auburn and wearing a tuxedo along with his Indiana Jones fedora. Oh, couldn't you just eat him up, girls?

::Dr. Indy walks the red carpet as a valet attends to the Auburn. Next in line are two Atlantean puddle jumpers. The first hovers to a stop and touches down. The back door lowers forming a ramp and the first two exit the jumper::

Joan: Look! It's Captain Yukino Houjo in her signature white kimono with a red obi belt and her fiancé Arik Pointer! Oh, a snow weasel and a red fox, don't they make an adorable couple!

::The crowd gives out some "oos"  and applauds::

Joan: Their wedding's set for April 3, the beginning of the first week of the two week Cherry Blossom Festival. And right behind them is Jeanette Isabelle, DOS and Jennifer Mullins!

::DOS is dressed in an ice blue evening dress::

Joan: Oh, doesn't DOS look like a young Cinderella?  Not that Cinderella was old, mind you, but those glass slippers were so gauche!  Oh, and Jennifer is waving the American flag in honor of her father, Captain Mullins of the U.S. Army! If you remember, the teenage vixen became a news celebrity in her own right in 2002 with the mystery surrounding her life.

::An Atlantean valet attends to the first puddle jumper as the second lands in front of the red carpet::

Joan: The nearly five-year-old mystery surrounding Jennifer's life was solved last year by Misao Sakimori and here she is, the billionaire investor, Misao Sakimori! In 1998 Misao worked on the Protocol 7 Project. Technology from Protocol 7 was used in Glass House which later became the phenomenon it is today.

::The short, German/Japanese mouse in a black dress is with a white female rabbit with brown hair and blue eyes::

Joan: With her is her foster daughter, Kaoru Konoe. Here comes Chief Petty Officer Misaki Mihara, her husband Ensign Ohjiro Mihara and her mom Shuko Suzuhara!

::The camera focuses on the two soldiers in their Atlantean uniforms, and Shuko Suzuhara in her wheelchair::

Joan: Ohjiro's giving her mom a push, nice boy that. By the way, Shuko Suzuhara is the only three time consecutive national Angelic Layer champion. Misaki, who followed in her mother's footsteps, also became a national champion. Of course we can't forget the nobleman of the layer, the stepbrother of the father of Angelic Layer, Ohjiro Mihara.

::The crowd cheers the Angelic Layer champions as they travel the red carpet.  Next the captain's yacht of the USS Sovereign hovers to a stop and touches down::

 Joan: Here comes Captain Ready in his Star Fleet dress uniform! I love that gold jacket, and three gold braids on each sleeve. I might have to beg that off of him! Accompanying him is Flywheel Hackwrench in a sapphire blue dress inspired by the dress Gadget wore in 'Double O Dale.' Oh, and also Almondine Maplewood in a green evening gown with accompanying sash. And oh my, doesn't Reguba look gorgeous! Reguba, the Redwall warrior turned Rescue Ranger is in his ancestral Highland dress, a short dress jacket and tie, with kilt and cloak, accompanied by his clan badge.  I love a man in a kilt!

::As Joan finishes fawning over Reguba she spots a new target. A uniformed man approaches wearing a belt that sports a retractable saber in a short sheath. On the right side of the belt there's a leather pistol holster::

Joan: And right behind them, there's Sinclair in his IMV dress uniform! And here comes Clarice!

::A black Mercedes-Benz 600 Pullman 4-door stops in front of Radio City Music Hall. The driver gets out, an armadillo in a black swallow-tail, a white shirt, and black bow tie. He walks around the big automobile and opens the right rear door::

Joan: Clarice is wearing the same dress she wore in 'The Chipmunk Divine.' Next comes Todd and Melissa Mayfield!

::The white mouse actually feels a bit uneasy in his black tuxedo with white shirt and Bordeaux red tie. He is more or less shoved out of the car by Melissa Mayfield, a half-Asian mouse with long black hair, who holds his elbow in her right hand and a violin case in her left hand. She is wearing a long black strapless evening gown. Before Armando shuts the door and parks the car, another two mice come out::

Joan: It's Dawn van Zant and Midnight!

::Fans start cheering when they see Dawn::

Joan: Dawn is wearing the same dress as the year before, the same which she already wore at that fateful 2006 Christmas party. Midnight is dressed in a black shirt, black pants, white dinner jacket and white tie.  He looks so serious—reminds me of my last beautician.

::Midnight does not smile at the crowd, at the cameras, at Dawn, or at anyone.  A red 2007 Mustang GTO pulls up with a black convertible top and out pours Charles Roberts::

Joan: Charles Roberts is in a red and black tuxedo with fire symbols. What are the fire symbols for? On second thought, it's probably better I don't know.

::Next is a 2008 white and blue Mustang GTO::

Joan: Alexander Armington II is in his tuxedo with his wife Lawhiney in her Blue and white dress with matching high heel shoes, along with Zola Armington in her green and white dress with matching slip-on shoes.  Really snappy there, you three!

::Nyperold and Naavah pull up in a mini carpet::

Joan: Oh my, its Nyperold and Naavah on an actual flying carpet inspired by 'The Carpet Snatchers!' They get my vote for originality.

::Nyperold and Naavah unbuckle their safety belts. Nyperold pivots, stands up and walks around to give Naavah a paw. Naavah gets off, the carpet rolls up, Nyperold tucks it under his free arm and the voles proceed up the red carpet. Grinning, Naavah waves with her free paw::

Joan: Oh, aren't they an adorable family!

::The crowd is caught up in Naavah's enthusiasm as the photographers click away. Mayhem drives up in a black Aston Martin Vanquish UE::

Joan: It's Mayhem! Formal attire is never his thing.

::A silver Chrysler drives up after that::

Joan: And right behind Mayhem, it's Rachel and John! Rachel is wearing a deep crimson vintage 1940's evening gown, think Catherine Hepburn or Myrna Loy. Her hair is curled with a 40's twist. And, oh my, the outfit looks gorgeous! John is wearing a black tuxedo with a silver shirt and matching crimson tie. Oh, aren't they adorable!

::A bat appears out of nowhere, glides down and walks the red carpet::

Joan: It's CCC in his Protocol 7 manifestation! Don't ask questions, he'll take them literally.

::Pupspals is dropped of in front of the red carpet by a taxi::

Joan: Hello there, Pups!  I like her idea of using a taxi.  Pupspals is wearing a black Jessica McClintock dress from her junior philharmonic days. She's followed by Marty and Buttons of Eon Kid, and Wubbzy Widget and Walden of Wow Wow Wubbzy.  Try saying that three times fast, dearies.  They seem to be complaining and yelling about something. Do we have a mike on them. . .we don't? Oh well. Moving onto Hondo and Rose…

::Hondo arrives in a metallic blue and silver 1985 Ford Bronco time circuits and hover gear::

Joan: Hondo's wearing blue jeans over low cut 1800's cavalry style black leather boots, along with a white western-cut shirt under a black leather gambler's vest and a black duster.  He's got the Old West style with that string tie, black belt with a brass buckle inlaid with a revolver.  And he's packing—oh my—a Colt .45 on his hip, another one in a shoulder holster, a bowie knife and a—what're those guns on your back, dearie!  And a .50 caliber Colt dragoon and a lever action 30-30 too.

It's the Golden Acorn Awards, Hondo! Not a remake of the O.K. Corral! Rose is wearing a ballroom gown inspired by the 'Breathe' gown worn by Drew Barrymore in Ever After. And, oh my, what you see on TV doesn't do it justice. Lovely dress Rose.

::The camera swivels, catching a glimpse of silver and red fur sneaking through a window::

Joan: It seems BOC couldn't come to the Awards after all.  And I really wanted to trade makeup secrets with her, too.

::The camera swivels back to the red carpet where Captains Eddie Dixon and Linda Hale arrive in a dark blue Ford Crown Victoria USAF staff car, decorated with two American flags on the bumpers. The "U.S. Air Force" sign on the door swivels as Eddie gets out first, then opens the door for Linda on the other side.

Joan: Here comes Captains Eddie Dixon and Linda Hale, the first two starship captains from Earth! Both vulpine captains are wearing Navy dress white uniforms. Oh, don't they make a cute couple!  Save room for me on your spaceship!

::Crash Burn drives up in his brand new Jaguar::

Joan: It's Crash Burn, looking cool and casual in his blue jeans, red T-shirt, black sport coat and dark glasses.  He reminds me of a preppy James Dean.

::A school bus is the next in line::

Joan: This brings us back to the days of camp. It's Racebest, Gadgefan and the blue squirrel representing Canada, James Starrunner!

::Gadgefan is in a fire-suit, gloves, shoes and helmet::

Joan: What's the racing gear for?  Oh dear, she's too far away.

::A gray wolf, a brown furred mouse, a tall and shapely gray squirrel, and four Klingon guards beam down to the red carpet::

Joan: Here's Ksharbaugh in his red Zoot suit, Doohickey 'Dee' Hawkfeather in a black suit with her black hair parted down the middle and tied back into a single 'marriage braid'. Colette Silvertail's got her black hair short and bouncy and a matching black suit with the only difference her the mini skirt and those high heels—and a detachment of four Klingon guards, each carrying a highly polished batl'eth.  Let me know if you're hiring out, boys!  You'd be great for handling the paparazzi!

::Ksharbaugh struts down the red carpet with his left arm around Colette's waist and twirling a gold watch on a chain with his right hand. Dee marches along in lock-step with the Klingons, visually scanning the crowd::

Joan: And coming up next is. . . . ::Gasp:: Oh, my God . . . what have we here? Not exactly a tux, but definitely dressing for attention, look at this: brilliant cobalt blue jacket and mirrored sunglasses with black slacks and shiny black patent leather shoes. Okay, so he's not a Catholic, but sharp all the same.

And what else? Ooh! A Blue Angels' ball cap with golden yellow trim? Normally, ball caps are a fashion-don't, but I see it matches the jacket perfect! And . . . what's with the shirt? What does that say? Is that the Hollywood sign on his shirt – Oh! Oh, wait, look at this: Pensacola!

He's got 'Pensacola' spelled out like the letters in the Hollywood sign! No doubt whatsoever where this boy is from: Pensacola Ranger! First time in New York tonight! Um, I don't see who he's with. . . . Cojo, did you see him come in with anybody? Maybe he's going stag tonight. . . .

::Suddenly Joan freezes stiff as she spots two bright yellow eyes in the crowd by the ropes. The eyes are staring out from under a pulled-down wide brim hat, atop a pulled up collar trench coat, on a wide-framed figure with cat's paws for feet. Is it Bela Bandung? If so, could this spell trouble for the Awards tonight? New York's finest and the Street Watch had better be on their guard::

::The scene segues back to Katie::


Katie: Okay, that's the story from out here.  I hear we're about ready to go inside, so we'll take a short break and come back for the opening of the Golden Acorn awards ceremony.

::The scene segues to black, and the commercials run::