Best Poet


::Monterey Jack returns to the stage, with a huge grin. He reaches the podium::


Monty: Well folks, Zippah apologizes but he ‘ad to go to the lobby ‘cause he got a call from his sweetheart, Queenie. He should return in a minute. So I thought I just read some of me poems until he gets back.


::Feeling extremely pleased with himself, Monty reaches inside his tux to retrieve his poems. However, his look of glee is quickly replaced by a puzzled expression. He quickly pads himself down in an attempt to locate his poems::


Monty: They were ‘ere a minute ago. Just before I told Zippah


::A look of revelation washes over his face::


Monty (softly): Why that buzzing little pickpocket…


::The audience starts to murmur. Monty stands there trying his best to remember at least one entire poem to recite. But he is an unable to recall any of them. He smiles blankly::


Monterey: Let’s move on then. This year’s nominees for Best Poet are:


Basil Carver


Ray Jones


Mr. Spumoni


::At this moment, Zipper returns and flies up to Monty::


Monty(with a frown): Good timing, Zip. I was just about to announce the winnah.


Zipper: You have no right to be upset! Queenie never called!


Monty (flustered): Well, that was…I mean, one of the employees told me… I didn’t….


Zipper: Mm, hmm. To make up for it, can you at least let me announce the winner?


Monty(sheepishly): Sure, pally. Knock yourself out.


Zipper: Thank you, Monty. And this year’s winner for Best Poet is….Basil Carver!


::A spotlight falls on Basil Carver and instantly her striped kitty face
goes beet red.  It takes a little prodding from Veldaxx, but she finally
gets up and goes to the podium.  After taking the award, she looks out at
the people in the audience::

Basil:  To be honest I really don't know what to say.  I haven't won an award like this before and didn't even know about the Golden Acorn Awards until I found out a few months ago that I had been nominated for best poet.  I want to thank everyone for thinking that I am worthy of this award.  I am going to bring my poetry threads back to life and work hard to make more poetry for my fellow patrons.

::With that Basil bows to the crowd and walks off stage to sit beside Veldaxx again. As the clapping dies down, Zipper and Monterey head off::


Zipper: By the way, if you're looking for your poems they’re in the dressing room.


Monty (laughing): I’ll give ya one thing, Zippah. You’re one slick pro when it comes lifting a fella’s wallet…


Zipper: Lift nothing. You just forgot them.


Monty: You mean I…oh, sorry mate. Guess in me hurry for poetic stardom they slipped me mind. Sorry about all that.


Zipper: Oh, that's okay. After all, we're still friends—even if I am the better poet…