Best Nutcase


::Once again the stage is silent and empty, not even a podium is on the platform. A soft shuffling sound is suddenly heard from behind the curtain, then a medium sized cardboard box starts to work itself across the stage. Once it reaches where the podium would be it is flipped into the air and discarded to the side, revealing the occupant—a raccoon.


He is hunkered down in a crouching position, wearing a camouflage body suit with pouches and equipment straps crisscrossing all over his suit. The raccoon stands up from his crouching position and looks around the stage, then looks at his watch and back to the spot where the podium should be. He walks over and cups his hand to his mouth::


Solidus: My name is Solidus Raccoon and…oh, this will never work. Come on, get up here, we have to make a presentation!


::After a few seconds of silence the floor splits open and the panels slide away, leaving an opening in the floor, out of which a platform starts to rise. The platform contains the podium and the other guest presenter, Ivan Drago—the villainous Russian boxer in the classic film Rocky IV. Drago, is wearing his boxing trunks and gloves and stares out over the audience with a cold hard glare as the platform locks into place and Solidus joins him::


Dale (in the audience): BOO! ROCK-Y! ROCK-Y! ROCK-Y!


::Drago looks down at Dale::

Drago: I must break you…


Dale: Hah! Chip tells me that all the time, and you see how well he's done!


::Solidus takes charge, walking onto the platform::


Solidus: Greetings all of you. Drago and I are much honored to be here this evening to present this award for The Best Nutcase. Too bad we can only give one award, this entire place deserves one.


Drago: I must present the award!


::Drago holds the envelope over his head until Soldius agrees::


Drago: And the nominees are: Tamira, AndY, Greyhound Bus, Campisi, and last but not least CD.”


::Drago scowls and fights to open the envelope, but his boxing gloves hinder his ability to get a grip on the flap::


Drago: I must break you!!!!


Dale (from audience): You said that already.


::Drago lets out a triumphant roar he rips the envelope open and hands the contents to Solidus::


Solidus: And the winner for best Nutcase is..




::Drago jumps off the stage and begins chasing Dale all over the place::


Solidus: Ahem, the winner is in fact—Tamira!


Tamira: YAY! I am best Nutcase!


::Tamira jumps up and down on her seat::


Tamia (whispers): You know, Squeaky. I hoped I'd get this award and prepared some surprises in advance!


::This time she does not take her handbag with her and has to hold herself back, not to jump all the way to the stage. On the stage, the hamster-girl smiles at the audience sweetly, her hands behind her back::


Tamira: Hiya all!!! So it seems you all think I am slightly crazy, or I would not have gotten that award... Hmmm... Well, you are RIGHT!!!


::The audience laughs and claps in approval::


Tamira: I am not the typical, normal, ordinary hamster and I LIKE it... Now, I think you all know THAT here?


::From behind her back, she pulls out a gun-like thingy::


Tamira: Yeah, my confetti-blaster! ... where did I HAVE it all the time? Don't know. (she shrugs) But I always have it with me, when I want to blast confetti... Even if it was NOT there some seconds before!


::Dale and some of the others on the front row start to look nervous::


Tamira: Well, confetti is something GREAT, isn't it??? And what better way to thank you all for giving me that Best Nucase-award, then a good confetti-shower???


::Tam smiles at her confetti-blaster and then at the audience::


Tamira: Of course one blaster is not enough to blast you all with confetti, at least not the normal way... But... I placed some nice confetti-bombs all over the ceiling of the room... and here on my blaster there is that nice button... And if I pull it... like that... some seconds later ALL these bombs should explode and that should cover you all into confetti... Hmmm... Count-down! 3... 2... 1!!!!“




::365 confetti-bombs explode at the same time with a nearly deafening sound and suddenly it rains down confetti from the ceiling, covering everything in a layer of colourful paper-pieces. The audience goes wild and Tamira smiles into the audience once again::


Tamira: Thanks friends, for making me Best Nutcase!


::Then she wades back to her seat through knee-deep confetti. Sitting down onto her seat she smiles at Squeak::


Tamira: Well, did you like my suprise?


::The kiwi-mouse pulls some heart-shaped confetti-pieces out of his hair::


Squeak: You are crazy, sweetie, and I love you just how you are!


::In the midst of confetti and craziness, two rodents share a short, but loving kiss::


::After clearing out some of the confetti, Solidus rounds up Drago and they head to the curtain to make their exit. Drago points at Dale, who's razzing him at the back of the theater::


Drago: To the end


Dale: Yeah, bring it on!


::Drago takes off after Dale again, and soon they're plowing through the mountains of confetti in a wild chase::