Best Black and White Image (Greyscale)

Dr. Batorius: And now, as part of the presentation for "Best Black and White Image", a brief but mostly familiar piece of animation…

::The stage curtains fall on the previous presentation, and the room lights dim. A few moments later, the curtains reopen to reveal a wide, blank projection screen. After a moment, the screen is brightly illuminated by a projector.

The screen is still mostly blank... except for the huge, monstrous silhouette of some kind of bug creature. There are a few terrified screams from the audience, then a smoky trail begins to go up from the monster's image. Jumping frantically, the monster disappears, finally leaving the screen clear.

A scratchy, grainy film begins running through the projector. On screen, a series of black and white numbers begin counting down from::

5...

4...

3...

2...

1...

::The numbers give way to a black and white cartoon. An animated sidewheel steamboat floats along, smokestacks chugging in time with a jaunty tune, while whistles blast merrily. After a few seconds of this, the scene cuts to an iconic image of a giant black and white mouse, whistling confidently as he stands proudly at the wheel.

The improbable mouse pulls a cord, triggering the steam whistles. The scene changes to these whistles, three in number, with height decreasing from right to left. The tallest whistle, furthest on the right, blows immediately.

Before the second whistle goes off, something unusual happens. Instead of blowing sharply in turn, the whistle struggles as a bulge builds up, then finally disgorges a chipmunk. The chipmunk is sharp-eyed and serious, with a small black nose. Unlike the chipmunks we know and love, he's very simply drawn, with solid lines and bold strokes.

A few more frames go by while this chipmunk collects himself after his steam-powered journey. The third and final whistle remains silent; after tapping his foot impatiently, the chipmunk kicks it with an audible CLANG, causing it to quickly spit out another, similar chipmunk, only with a larger, rounder nose, and goofy, buck-toothed grin.

As the second chipmunk leaves the whistle, he somehow manages to tumble right into the first one, knocking both of them right out of the frame.

The film returns to the mouse at the wheel, still whistling away, care-free. The mouse is oblivious to the skipper, an enormous, scowling cat-like creature, climbing up the stairs behind him.

Just as the malevolent thug is about to strike, the two chipmunks tumble in from the top of the frame, landing on the villain's head and causing him to fall off the screen to the right. The two chipmunks bounce in the opposite direction, landing at the feet of the mouse, who has just turned around in time to see what happened. Smiling in relief, the trio shake hands.

::The lights in the room go up, washing out the still-running cartoon, revealing Chip, Dale, and Mickey Mouse in the same pose, but now in their modern, full color incarnations (albeit wearing black and white tuxedos). Bowing to the crowd, all three wave to the audience, then Mickey steps offstage while Chip and Dale approach the podium.

The two chipmunks strike up a conversation along the way. As they near the microphone, Dale's voice can suddenly be heard on the public address system::

Dale: ...real nice guy, although his dog's not the brightest acorn on the tree. Say, Chip, I've been wonderin'. I thought we only got our first job in—

Chip: Shhh! We're on!

::Chip coughed loudly to cover up whatever Dale had been about to say next, as if it had nothing to do with rewriting history. Nosirree::

Chip (grandiose): Ladies and gentlemen, big and small, of all species and ages! It is the pleasure of my partner and I to announce this year's Golden Acorn Award nominees for Best Black and White Image.

:: Dale picked up smoothly from Chip in an obviously well-rehearsed transition::

Dale: 'Course, black and white doesn't jus' mean simple black and white, like in this old cartoon. Color is g-reat, but there's all sorts of neat stuff artists do without ever picking up a crayon, or a paint brush, or anythin'!

Chip: Exactly. What this category is really about is the art of drawing, condensed to its fundamentals of line, form, and shading. For example, just take a look at this wonderful example—

::With a sleight of 'Toon hand too fast for even the watching TV cameras to catch, Chip pulls out an enormous, many-times life-size print of a certain scene from Chris Fischer's "Of Mice and Mayhem". (Page 214, to be exact.)

::Dale immediately begins to fume, of course, turning bright red, while steam curls out of his ears::

Dale: That wasn't in the script!

::Chip's grin widens::

Chip: Dale, Dale, I'm hurt! I [i]merely[/i] wanted to show the audience a perfect example of fantastic draftsmanship.

::He gazes up at the enormous picture, eyes wide with admiration (although at what, we can't be sure, though we can certainly guess)::

Chip: What incredible line work! And just take a look at this fantastic hatching!

Dale: ...hatching. Right.

::A very smug Chip makes the giant picture disappear as easily as he had pulled it out::

Chip: And now, without further ado, we give you the nominees for Best Black and White Image!

::Chip and Dale alternate as they go down the considerable list, though Dale's mood has soured some::

Gadget's hair, Tammy style, by J

Cover to Tanka's Comics, by Peter Falsi

Gadget Sketch, by DeLTa

C&G hangin out, by Fish

Little Cutie, by Peter Falsi

Comic #8, by Toni

Swingin' Gadget, by Clockwork Cat

Chip Sketch, by Squeak

Fun Ride, by Toni

Chip & Dale, by Anna McNarin

Portrait of Monty, by Lance

Occasional Hero, by Fish

Startled Gadget, by Ksharbaugh

Tammy the Bassist, by Clockwork Cat

Gadget on a Frozen Bridge, by DeLTa

Clarice in a Doorway, by Fish

Clarice VS Gadget rematch, by RangerReady23

Gadget At Pond's Edge, by DeLTa

::Dale opens the envelope::

Dale: And the winner is...if it's Fish, I'll bop him….hey, we got three winners! Pater Falsi for Little Cutie, Lance for Portrait of Monty and DeLTa for Gadget at Pond's Edge!

::Pater comes up on stage to the podium. Filling his glass from a decanter, he touches his glass with a microphone making a [i]cling[/i] noise with it. Pater drinks::

Pater: I'll be short.

::Pater gives a cough to a microphone::

Pater: This is not the first time I'm given such an honor. And every time I'm surprised with the people's choice as it never coincides with my own conception of good art.

::Pater gives a cough to a microphone::

Pater: But however that may be I'm very pleased that my art is known not only in my homeland, but also outside of it.

::The audience applauds as Pater fills his glass from the decanter again::

Pater: Taking an opportunity, I want to show my unlimited respect to my favorite cdrr-artist, Antonio "Toni" Barra.

::The spotlight focuses on Toni who stand up and waves, as everyone claps in appreciation::

Pater: Uh, thank you, that's all I have to say I guess.

::As the audience applauds again, Pater fills his glass from a decanter and leaves the stage holding the glass in his hand. A few moments later, with a grin on his face and after a handshake with FleaBot, Lance stands behind the podium once more::

Lance: Monty suggested to me earlier that if I'd added cheese to this image it'd stand a much better chance of winning. I guess I just got lucky this time. Better add some cheese next time though, just to be on the safe side.

::Lance grins in Monty's direction before waving in acknowledgment of the crowd and exiting the stage. Flabbergasted and happy at the same time, DeLTa walks to the scene, giving a bow of appreciation to the audience::

DeLTa: Wow! Frankly speaking, I didn't really expect that I'll get an award. I voted for "C&G hangin' out" by Chris Fischer and was sure in Fish's victory. Well, thank you, my friends! I respect your opinion very much and I'll try to keep drawing good pictures for you in the future. GADGET, YOU ARE THE BEST!!

::Having taken the award, DeLTa leaves the scene, receiving a great ovation. Chip and Dale applaud as the winners finish their speeches, then make their way off stage. Not before the microphone can catch one last snippet of their renewed conversation, though::

Dale: Wowie zowie! And I thought Monty was big for a mouse! He sure seemed a lot smaller on TV.

::BONK::