::A rather large wolf in full tux
strides out onto the stage. The black fur atop his head, considerably
longer than the rest, is neatly pulled back in a half-tail reminiscent of Qui-Gon Jinn. He lays down behind the rodent-sized podium
Neal: It's funny how life works sometimes. I usually
get my tail chewed for putting words in someone else's mouth, and here,
somebody's gettin' an award for it...
::his signature snerk, sort of a cross between a smile and a smirk, plays at his muzzle a second before he continues::
Neal: The nominees for Best Caption are...
Week 134, Stitch
Week 152, Ray Jones
Week 137, Karl 5
Week 157: pupspals
Week 159 (Jeff Pierce and Ronnie Rabbit)
Week 153, Rachel
Week 143, Loneheart
::pulls an envelope out of his jacket::
Neal: And the winner is...
::struggles with opening the envelope a bit::
Neal: This is harder than it looks when you don't have thumbs...
::As some audience members laugh knowingly, Neal finally gets the envelope open::
Neal: And the winner is…Rachel and Karl, a tie!
::Rachel, a bit in shock, makes her way once again to the podium::
Rachel: Golly and a half! I always knew the caption contest was fun, but I forgot one could win an award for it!
::Laughs come in from the audience::
Rachel: Well, this caption was actually inspired by my little story from last year, “A Romance for the Romantics,” or “A Short Ranger Romance,” or whatever it was called.
::Rachel pauses again for the light laughter::
Rachel: Anyway, I just saw that caption and knew that Gadget had thought of something that she had never thought of before . . . and voila! Flirting! The fact that her hair looked strangely more styled than usual helped as well . . . . Thanks goes primarily to Indy, since he of course is the creator and keeper of the captions contest. And thanks goes out to all of you who shared a chuckle at my little one-liner!
::Rachel smiles demurely and makes her way back to her seat, trying to avoid Gadget’s confused glance. Hearing his name, Karl jerks slightly and looks around saying "What? I didn't do it! The fruit cocktail is supposed to taste like that!"
Then he noted the presenter's expression, the award, and the audience applauding::
Karl: Oh, hey - I won something?
::He walks up to receive his award, and facing the audience, he bows theatrically::
Karl: "hank you! Thank you all! Without you, my adoring fans, I wouldn't be here tonight... Well except for the banquet. Who can pass up a free meal?
::The whole audience laughs, which seems to show general agreement::
Karl: The caption contest is pretty tough, and I've generally found the other captions to be much wittier than mine. I'm surprised and, well, delighted to receive this award, and now I'd better sit down and shut up before you all agree with me and give it to someone else!
::He bows again and returns to his seat, holding up the award and pointing to it occasionally::
Karl: See? Even I can win something!
::He sits down, repeating it several times. Neal Wolf nods politely and heads offstage::