::The lights dim and within a few seconds, Dr. Batorious rambles over the PA system, "And now to present the 'Most Helpful Rangerphile' award, Greyhound Bus!"::


GB: Dat's Da Bus playah!!!


::Da Bus rolls out on stage, lit up by two spotlights and all shined up. His silver chromed Alcoa rims polished and shined to the point where they were like mirrors. His paint job was thoroughly waxed and his head sign read 'Da Bus' instead of its normal city destination. Maneuvering behind the podium, he took up refuge at the mic and with a tire, he tapped it. The things squeals worse than a Garbage truck's worn brakes met the tapping, making the audience wince at the high pitched sounding.


Shuffling some papers around, he grins nervously as if he was about to make some hugely important speech. He starts out in his signature ghetto accent::


GB: Uh...ok....think I’m all set up here. Well folks....has y’alls well know it’s dat time of year again. Somebody way out there who's incharged of this deal stuck a post-it note on my windshield one day while i was nappin at da station saying I had to do 3 presentations. Yup....y’alls heard right!! Y’alls stuck wit me for 3 presentations!!


::Greyhound does a mocking evil laugh. He takes out an all white envelope, or what he thinks is the right one::


GB: But anyway....this year's most helpful Rangerphile is.....uh...drumroll please........


::He unfolds the paper and just starts reading off it::


GB: We are sorry to announce that your insurance premium will now be increased 25% due to rising accident counts on the interstate.....WHAT!?!?! NOW DAT'S AN OUTRAGE!!!! HOW.....


::He pauses, glancing up and freezes as the audience basically stares at him as if he was transformed into a 3 wheeled golf cart::


GB: Whoa....uuhh...sorry bout dat...wrong envelope…


::Shuffling a bit he finally comes across the right one ::


GB: Ah...now here we go! Da Most Helpful Rangerphile fer 2005 is.......(insert name here)!!! COME ON DOWN PLAYAH!!!"


The spotlights went searching the audience for their selected target.




::Greyhound rolls offstage, mumbling something about ‘hiring a lawyer’::