::The Beach Boys "Cherry, Cherry, Coupe" plays in the background. A blast of sound erupts from stage right. Sporting a huge, blown Oldsmobile V8, a 1940 Willys gas coupe rolls onto the stage, flames leaping from the open fenderwell headers.
Pulling up behind the podium, the vintage drag coupe rolls to a stop and, after revving the engine a few times, the motor is switched off. The exhaust echoes across the stage a few times. A Bearcat, with dark clip-on shades and dressed impeccably in a black tux, leaps from the driver's window onto the stage. Curiously, he is also wearing a Confederate kepi. Climbing atop a perch which allows him to see over the podium, bock's car grins as he scans the crowd::
Bock’s Car: Hey, it ain't easy finding a car set up for Bearcats. Thanks, Gadget. Are y'all enjoying yourselves tonight?
::The crowd erupts in cheers, Greyhound lays on his airhorns::
Bock’s Car: Yeah! That's what I thought. Yo, Greyhound. Easy on the horns, Dawg. I hear Bighorn is lurking about.
::Guffaws from the audience::
Bock’s Car: It is my honor tonight to present the award for Best Characterization of the Rangers in a fanfiction story. We have all come to know and love the Rangers. They have their own unique personalities and traits. Some of these traits are strengths, others... weaknesses.
Writers will often pick, and develop one or more of these traits. The best of these writers have made it to this point. It has come down to this moment to select one of them for special recognition. This award is given to the writer who has, in the last year, given us a portrayal of the Rangers found to best exemplify their character. The nominees are:
Chip and Clarice in Clarice Returns
"Space Wars: The Ranger Parody"
Nothing But a Gadget
::Bock's breaks the seal on the envelope::
Bock’s Car: The winner for Best Characterization is “Clarice Returns”! Oh, and tying for it is Kevin Sharbaugh’s “Space Wars”!
::Rachel makes her way up the steps to the podium a little more slowly and fans herself once at the podium::
Rachel: Whew! I’m glad Clarice recommended a strapless gown– these lights are killers! But wow– what an award! I am so thankful that my take on the Rangers rang true to some of you out there. This is one of the most difficult aspects for me, and I am pleased as punch to have received the Golden Acorn in this category! As I have mentioned, this story just wrote itself, and I believe the characters just fleshed themselves out in the process. I want to thank all of the other writers out there who have inspired my “version” of the Ranger-verse. I am just so honored!
::Kevin Sharbaugh takes the stage looking unusually happy.::
KS: Good news! They found the Best Villain award under the mountain of meppstroopers. They just started whacking the pile with mallets until they heard a ‘ding’ instead of ‘donk’... actually it was Fat Cat that was doing the whacking, but I guess that’s only natural.
Anyhow, keeping the Rangers in character for “Space Wars” wasn’t quite as hard as I thought, it helped that their personalities fit so well with the roles. Granted, it meant Solo’s cynicism had to be replaced with Chip’s practicality and Leia’s idealism with Luwhiney’s opportunism, but that just added to the experience of getting it to work.
The hardest part? Casting Gadget as Chewbacca. Though that did offer up an ending that was more characteristic of the Rangers overall... and I hadn’t even thought of it until the day before the deadline for that chapter. Sometimes surprises like that are worth the uncertainty of such decisions. As always, you all have my deepest thanks for this award and I hope I can continue portray our favorite crime fighters in an acceptably flattering way.
::KS waves to the audience as he
departs the stage. Rachel smiles and tries to make her way down the stairs and
find her seat through her happy tears. Bock's scampers back to his Willys, fires up up the engine
and drives off, stage left, to Jan and Dean's "