::After
Fish and Indy move offstage, Jeff once more goes to the podium::
JP: Our next category is for Best Black and White
Image (Greyscale). And here to present the nominees
for this year's Golden Acorn, please welcome the heart and soul of the Rescue
Rangers, and by far the most frequent artistic subject in the Rangerphile
community, Miss Gadget Hackwrench!
::Massive
applause breaks out as Gadget walks across the stage, waving shyly to the
audience, the spotlight following her all the way to Center Stage. Jeff (literally) gives her a hand up to the
podium, and adjusts the microphone for her before stepping away::
Gadget: Golly, thanks everyone! You know, people use the term "black and
white" all the time to refer to something that's clear and precise, in
graphic detail, with no ambiguity.
::she
shudders involuntarily::
Gadget: Jeepers! I almost sound like a Disney lawyer!!
::the
audience responds with a knowing laugh::
Gadget: Anyway, the point is,
that a "black and white" image isn't necessarily "black and
white." I mean, it *is* "black
and white" in the sense that it's pen and ink on paper, but it's not
"black and white" in the sense that it's just bold lines and stark contrasts. I mean, it *can* be that way, but on the
other hand --
JP (interrupting
before Gadget can get too carried away):
What Gadget means is, that the images nominated tonight have more of a
softness and characterization to them that sets them apart from what is
commonly referred to as "line art."
Hence the use of the term "Greyscale"
to describe them.
Gadget: Exactly!
That's what I was saying! And
because they are, it's a thrill to introduce the following nominees, because
they all are such fantastic examples of this art form. And best of all, I'm not the only one in the
pictures for a change!
::grins as the
audience chuckles::
Gadget: Seriously! The other Rangers, and our friends, deserve
to be in the spotlight, too, and I'm glad to see they're here among the
potential winners.
Anyway, the nominees
for Best Black & White Image (Greyscale) are:
Gadget on the railroad tracks, by Oleg. Gosh, did memories of "Last Train to Cashville" go through my head while I was posing for
this one!
Sparky
and a exploded radio, by Te’Targa. Poor Sparky!
See, this is why you want to always be properly grounded when you have a
perpetual static charge of 1.21 decawatts and are
standing near sensitive electrical equipment.
Don't worry, though, his fur grew back. Mostly.
Monty cheeze attack!, also by Te’Targa. Ah,
Monty and his one true love!
::sighs and puts
her clasped paws under her chin::
Gadget: Isn't it *romantic*?
::she chuckles as
the audience laughs, but Monty just harrumphs as he pauses eating his cheeze-puff::
Monty:
Gadget, luv, you know that ain't
true! Me first love is BRIE '86 and you *know* it!
::more audience
laughter at that, and Gadget continues::
Medieval
Princess Gadget, by Artist. Oh, by the way,
he let me keep the costume, too!
Gadget’s Classroom,
also by Artist. Next time I hold lessons, I'll have a way to keep Chip 'n Dale
awake!
::Gadget grins as
the chipmunks gulp nervously::
Fat
Cat’s Birthday Present, by IP Guest. Actually, Fat Cat seemed to like our
present. He even invited us over to his
next birthday party...as his...dinner guests.
::Gadget thinks
about that a moment::
Gadget: Um...somehow, I don't think we'll
be going.
Clarice standing, and Clarice
sitting, both by Te'Targa. ::Gadget looks at
Clarice:: Golly, I hope you're ready for
Ranger stardom after all these years, Clarice!
Canina leFur: And years, and years, and *years*...
Clarice: HEY!
Gadget:
And finally, Dale Proposing
to Gadget, by Chris Silva.
Um...gosh, you know something?
I've been proposed to so many times by so many guys, that I just can't
decide! So I might as well announce
right now that I've decided to end my Ranger career and become a nun instead.
::the male
members of the audience clutch their hearts in stark terror at the thought, and
Gadget grins::
Gadget: Just kidding! I'd never become a
nun, guys. Unless they had an order of
flying nuns, that is.
::turns to
Jeff::
Gadget: You're Catholic, right? Do they?
JP:
Um...not since Sally Fields left it and found Burt Reynolds.
Gadget (shrugging): Oh, well. Too bad!
::grins again at
the audience, and holds her paw out for the envelope, which Jeff opens. He hands Gadget the card inside it....::
Gadget:
And the winner of the 2005 Golden Acorn for Best Black & White Image
(Greyscale) is....well, it’s a tie for both of
Artists’ pictures! I don’t think that’s ever happened before. Come on up,
Artist!
::Instead, Indy
heads up on stage, carrying a piece of paper::
Indy: Artist couldn’t make the trip but he gave me this speech. “I want to
thank everyone who voted for my pictures. I am very appreciative. Thank you
all!”
::Indy and Gadget
head offstage, Indy taking Artists’ awards to the deliveries department to send
to him::