::As the crowd claps and cheers and whatnot, a steadicam
pans across them and then moves backstage, past props and various critters
hanging about, to focus on Crisscross.
He's dressed in a tux (and looking quite snazzy in it, top
hat 'n everything). He also looks completely nervous, tail hung low, shifting
from foot to foot. Gadget is standing under him, trying to adjust
his bowtie while he fidgets::
Gadget: Golly, Chris! I know it's your first presentation and all, but you
don't have to worry so much. Now hold still, you silly fox!
Crisscross (still fidgeting): I know, sweetie. I can't help it! I've never done
anything like this before. What if I screw up? What if I malfunction? You remember that time my hydraulics got
accidentally recalibrated, and I accidentally shot my rear end off! We had to
search the junkyard for hours to find it!
Gadget: Oh Chris! Nothing like that is going to happen. You're going to go out
there and you're going to do just fine. Now, hold your head up.
::Chris does, and Gadget finishes looking him over::
Gadget (brightly): There! You look great!
Crisscross: I will admit, we foxes do look good in
formal wear.
Gadget: You sure do! Now get out there and do a great job!
::Crisscross still looks a bit nervous, but is doing
his best to hide it for Gadget's sake::
Crisscross: I'll try my best.
::The steadicam follows behind Crisscross as he trots
toward the stage::
Dr. Batorious: And now, to present the award for Best Animation, Crisscross
Alexander Flaversham!
Random Mouse Stagehand (to Chris): Break a leg, kid.
::Chris nods to him and walks out, smiling::
Random Mouse Stagehand: I've been wanting to say that all evening.
::Crisscross takes the stage. He looks about at the
HUGE assembled crowd. He starts getting weak in the knees. Then he thinks of
Gadget, and steels himself. He walks to the podium::
Crisscross: Hi, everyone!
::Immediate ear-splitting feedback noise. Everyone
yelps::
Crisscross: Darnit!
::He adjusts something inside his voicebox so he won't
interfere with the mic::
Crisscross: Testing, testing? Okay. Whew! Sorry about that! Um, as you've
probably guessed, I've never done this before, so I'll just keep it short and
sweet.
::He pulls the card with the nominees written on it
out of his tux pocket::
Crisscross: The nominees for [insert category] are...
::Looks at the card long and hard. Puzzled silence from the crowd::
Crisscross: Paul Stanley, Peter Chris, Ace Frehley and Gene Simmons?!? Who the
heck...
::He looks up to notice Dale laughing his furry little tail off in the
audience::
Crisscross (growling): Pardon me folks, I have to go prepare some fresh
Chipmunk Tartar...
::Chris leaps off stage. Dale squeaks in panic. Crisscross chases him all
around the auditorium, even stepping on several of the other guests in their
seats. Fox growls and chipmunk screams, amid laughter and shouts of confusion,
fill the auditorium::
::After a few moments, Crisscross ascends the stage
once more. His top hat is askew, his bowtie's loose, and he's got a red and
yellow Hawaiian-print tuxedo in his mouth::
Crisscross (cheerfully): Have fun trying to get back in here in just your fur,
Dale!
::He spits out the tux. Foxy comes up to retrieve it.
Chris gives her a 'tell him there's no hard feelings'
wink. She giggles and flutters off to find her birthday-suited 'munk.
Crisscross addresses the crowd again::
Crisscross: Okay, now the REAL nominees are...
“The RR Slide Show”, Animated Malamute
“The New Year Clip”, IPGuest
“Trailer to 'The Collision of Minds'”, IPGuest
“Munks on Ice”, Lotacats
“Kissy Munks Revisited”, Lotacats
Crisscross: And the winner is...
::He removes an envelope from his pocket and opens
it::
Crisscross (reading from the paper inside the envelope): Dear Crisscross; so
how'd my snuggly-wuggly orange foxie do with the presenta...
::Stops abruptly, red-faced. The audience giggles. Behind him, Gadget walks up
with the actual envelope. Her cheeks are Dale's-shirt-red::
Gadget: Um, I was going to give that to you after the show. Here.
::She hands him the envelope. He takes it and gives
her a little nuzzle on top of her head. She smiles and
goes backstage. Chris turns back to the audience::
Crisscross: You know, this is getting ridiculous.
::He eyes the new envelope::
Crisscross: I swear, if snakes jump out of this thing...
::He opens it, reads it, looks a bit surprised. It's the real deal::
Crisscross: And the winner is...IP Guest! Wow, good job! Come on up!
::At this moment the lights turn off and an absolute
darkness comes to the hall::
Crisscross: What's happened? Indy, what's going on?
Indy (from somewhere): I don't know! Must be a
short circuit!
::Then suddenly torches light on the walls and the surprised spectators see
that a mystic figure in dark overalls is softly moving on the stage clanging
with chains::
IP Guest (with a sepulchral voice): <b><i>Where is it</i></b>?!
Crisscross: Oh, the award? Here it is!
::IP Guest takes his award and disappears. The stage
is empty::
Crisscross: But how?..
Gadget: Where?...
Somebody from the audience: That's unfair! Bring
him back!
::At his moment a laud crack is heard and IP Guest
reappears at the former place. He's gasping::
IP: Help!
Crisscross: Sure... But where have you been?
IP: I returned to my cellar but some evil forces
followed me and wanted to steal off my award!!!
<img src="http://www.indyranger.com/siege.swf">
Crisscross (chuckles): Oh, don't mind! That was just
your admirers who wanted to listen
to your speech and to get your autograph!
IP: My admirers? You want to say they wanted me and not my prec-c-cious?
Crisscross: Yes, you and your speech.
IP: Oh... Ok... I'm very greatful to Silent Shadow for his remarkable story
that has inspired me to do the trailer and to Tanka for the promotion of my
modest flash clip to the international stage. I also want to thank Indy for the
organization of this interesting show and to all the spectators who watch it. My sincere gratitude to those people who voted for me this year and
even more gratitude to those who will vote for me next year.
My greatest wish is that "Best Animation" became a permanent nomination
and that more and more works were nominated every year. I also hope that in a
couple of years this section will have almost as many nominations as Art or Fanfiction
sections have (for example, the best short clip, the best romantic clip, the
best moving portrait of a ranger...) Let there be more animation!
<img src="http://www.indyranger.com/ip.jpg">
::The audience applauds in approval, then IP Guest
leaves the stage and at this moment the lights turn on. All the spectators
squint and rub their eyes. When they get accustomed to the bright light again
the strange figure in dark overalls is seen nowhere.
Some people say that he has disappeared in the air again but the others say
that he has just taken off his overalls and joined the other audience. But as
nobody knows what IP looks like without his overalls (well, Tanka knows but
keeps silent) nobody can tell which version is true::
Crisscross: Uh, I think we’re due for a break—I
don’t like electrical outages…
::Crisscross and Gadget
head offstage, looking around to see if IP Guest is returning::