::The stage goes dark. The
orchestra in the pit plays a ballad-like version of the RR theme song.
Stage lights turn on and spin all over the room making patterns on the walls::
Audience: Ohh! Pretty!
::The camera makes a swooping pan around a giant Golden Acorn Statue a la Oscars then swoops over the audience. Everyone waves at the camera. A few have "Hi Mom" or "I love you Gadget" signs. Then the camera pans over to pupspals in jeans behind the curtain, sitting on a stool with a mic head set on her head & holding a clipboard::
Pupspals: What? I'm getting school credit for this.
::She pauses, then whispers::
Pupspals: You weren't supposed to film me! Go, go!!
::Cut to shot of center stage::
Pupspals (in announcer-type voice): And now the presenter of the Outstanding Achievement in a Website Golden Acorn Award: from <I>The Simpsons</I>, Comic Book Guy!
::The audience applauds as Comic Book Guy walks out on stage. He's wearing his usual clothing including red shorts & tennies, except he has a paper bow tie on. Cut to Pupspals::
Pupspals: What? Didn't he get the memo to dress up?
Comic Book Guy (over hearing): Yes I did, and you can see that I have!
::Camera close up of his shirt which says, "This is my tux"::
CBG: So yes, I am Comic Book Guy, and I have torn my self away from my store to present this *sigh* <I>Fan-based</I> award. And so I have debased by self for only one reason: Pupspals gave me a copy of the CDRR Bible/Writer's guide which is an older copy than those posted on-line, then she cornered me at Film Roman with a favor to ask.
Pupspals: Internships have their advantages...
CBG: So here I am presenting this award for outstanding achievement in a website.
::looks at list::
CBG: I see that you, Pupspals, are missing from this list... not a surprise since you majorly lost in the previous website categories...
Pupspals: Well even I voted for some of those websites up against me...
CBG: I would hope so! "How to tell the difference b/w Chip & Dale"...Worst. Layout. Ever!
Pupspals: Now, that was one of my first pages! Plus it was a class assignment, what do you want?
CBG: Best Web Site Maintainer? You never update! You haven't even logged into your *sigh* <I>free</I> webhosting services for a while!
Pupspals: Well.. with school & all...
CBG: And Best Website, "The Acorn Cafe Guest Map"?! It isn't even your
design! It's off the Bravenet website!! All you did was set it up!
Pupspals: Can we get back to the award, please?
CBG: Yes. I am presenting this final award since I am the only one truly great enough for this honor. For since I am the owner & maintainer of the Best. Website. Ever: nerds-gone-wild.com (see soon to be released Simpsons episode GABF02)...
Pupspals: He gave himself a web award...
CBG:... I will humbly accept this award and be on my way!
::He starts to leave with the award. Pupspals, Indy, & Ray Jones block his path.::
Indy: Sorry there, pally, but this isn't for you!
Pupspals: You have to give it to the person with the best site for this year!
CBG: Which would be mine!
Pupspals: That was nominated...
Ray: Are you even a Rangerphile? You are "comic book" guy...
CBG: I am not only a Rangerphile - who owns the two secret casebooks, all the Disney adventures comics they appeared in, and every RR comic book including issue #20 Techno Rat issue which never got published because Disney shut the comics down..., but am the biggest Gadgetphile there ever was!
:: Indy & Ray snicker::
CBG: What, may I ask, is so funny?
Ray: There are lots of Gadgetphiles in this room...
Indy: ... and something tells me you aren't at the top.
CBG: Oh, yeah? Quiz me! Ask me anything!
Indy: Last name?
Ray: Dad's name?
Indy: Name of father's plane?
CBG: Screaming Eagle. Please, You insult me! Give me hard ones!
Indy: Well, do you love her?
Ray: With all your heart?
Indy: more than 7 of 9?
CBG: (stumbles for a bit)... more than Jeri Ryan yes.
:: Indy & Ray smile at each other::
Ray: Gadgetism score?
Indy: What? You can't get over 100.
CBG: Too many things were left unasked so I made my own supplemental Gadgetism test.
Indy: ".5-something" for your score? Did you miss some then?
CBG: There is one single solitary piece of merchandise I lack. But now I don't.
Ray: What do you mean?
:: CBG grabs Ray's Gadget Plushy from somewhere behind Ray's back & takes off running.::
Ray, Indy & Pupspals: Hey!!
:: They run after him, audience members block his path - it's complete chaos at the awards. CBG merely shoves his way through the crowd.::
CBG: Nay, you won't get it back. I am the greatest Gadgetphile, I deserve it!
:: Out of no where CBG gets covered in a ton of mini plungers. The RR have assembled & are taking over the situation. CBG drops the envelope that contains the winner's name::
Chip: Give that back!
Dale: C'mon, don't wreck the awards by steeling something...
Monty: I'll make 'm give it back!
:: Monty stars to roll up his sleeves::
CBG: That is to laugh. You are but a mere mouse. With my weight your punches would only sting but a little!
Gadget: Jeff! (again see GABF02) You give that back right now!
CBG: *gasp*! You know my name! You see I am the greatest!
Dale: That's not a very good Muhammad Ali imitation...
CBG: Gadget! Run away with me! You can live with me in
Gadget: Give it back....!
CBG: Yes, my sweet. For I cannot refuse you anything...
::He hands it back to Ray who gives it a huge hug. The audience applauds.::
CBG: And now to give the award. Ray, if you'll just stand within pickpocket range.. er I mean beside me...
Pupspals: Oh, no. You lost your chance!
CBG: So what will become of me?
Dale: We're not the bouncers of the Acorn Cafe for nothing! Hit it Chip!
::The mini plungers on CBG are all tied to ropes which are tied to the RangerWing held up with rockets to move his weight. Dale joins Chip in the plane as they begin to fly him back to Springfield.::
Gadget: Golly. It <I>should</I> hold up that much weight...
::The audience gasps! The ones under the RangerWing run for their lives, many take cover. C&D buckle their seatbelts and put on crash helmets. Gadget re-checks her figures::
Gadget: No. It'll be fine. I will hold up that much weight. I modified it....
CBG: Let me guess. It'll work with "no problems"?
Gadget: Oh, no. Plenty of problems... I'll be overhauling that thing all week to get it back into shape after carrying that much weight.
::C&D fly off - still wearing their seatbelts & helmets, while the audience applauds & cheers::
CBG: Think of me when you fix the plane.......!
:: Pupspals picks up the dropped envelope and walks up on stage with Indy. Ray is clutching his Plushy for dear life while other Gadgetphiles pat him on the back.::
Pupspals: Sorry about that. If I knew that was going to happen I wouldn't have brought him!
Indy: You didn't know. It's okay.
Pupspals: Well, folks, let's find out the winner. The winner is...
::She starts to open the envelope::
Indy: The Nominees by the way are:
Winston, for reviving the RR Database
Stephen Clouse & Indy, for keeping the Acorn Cafe going
Tanka, for her CDRR Mistakes & Trivia website
& Jeff Parkes, for his Ranger Poll & WAM websites.
Pupspals: Oops! Forgot about that. The winner is:
::She opens the envelope & takes out the paper inside::
Pupspals: The winner is Winston!! Congratulations!!
::Winston sits in his seat for a long time, even with the spotlight on him::
"Oh... me again?" Winston
looks surprised for a moment, then gets up and walks to the stage and
approaches the microphone.
"Umm... Well, sorry again... I guess that's about it..." He shrugs and walks offstage, once again statueless.
::Dr Indy comes up again::
Dr. Indy: Okay, Winston. Here’s part two…