::Monterey Jack comes out, standing behind the podium with the next award in front of him::


Monty: Evening, mates! I’m here to give out the Best Author award. This one shows who’s considered the best yarn-teller over the past year. Reminds me of the time I was sailing down the Amazon river. Me and Geegaw had known each other about four months or so, and we were delivering hot cross buns to the natives downriver. There wasn’t any landing strip, so he and I made this here raft and floated our way down….


::Fifteen minutes and a long yarn later…::


Monty: …and so when Geegaw told the potentate, “They always use feathers in their drinks!” the whole camp broke out laughing and we got a two-year contract. So you can see how a right good story can help out. Um, anyway…


::Monty leans in close to the mic and clears his throat, waking up the audience::


Monty: Anyway, let’s see who our nominees for Best Author are:


- Fish

- Jareth

- Stitch

- Indy/Chris


- Loneheart

- CD


Monty: Mighty find lot of great blokes there. And the win goes to…


::Monty opens the envelope::


Monty: Crikey, a tie between Fish and Jareth!


::Fish comes up to the mic first, taking hold of his award::


Fish: What an honor to be standing here with such esteemed company. A special thanks to Mike Demcio for writing "Soul Searching," the first CDRR fanfic I read, which inspired me to try my own crack at storytelling. I paid a little homage to the story in my background art on page 29, if any of you didn't catch it.


::The sound of pages flipping in the audience fill the auditorium for a few moments::


Fish: I'd also like to thank the late Hal Foster, whose narrative descriptions in his word balloon-free comic strip "Prince Valiant" inspired me to set the story up without dialogue for some 30-odd pages.


::Fish smiles::


Fish: And to those who couldn't stand the 30-odd pages of dialogue-free descriptive narrative at the beginning of the story, Id like to BLAME the late Hal Foster, whose narrative descriptions in his word balloon-free comic strip "Prince Valiant" corrupted me to set the story up without dialogue for some 30-odd pages.


::The audience laughs, and Fish waves as he takes his award and heads offstage. <a href=“http://www.dream-avenue.com/SonicTV/1996_Sonic_OAV/Look_Alike_Stereo_Long.mp3”>Look alike</a> (3:39 into it) begins playing, as a large flying fox, Jamba, swoops down from the ceiling. He swoops down and snatches the award from Monty’s hand. He then proceeds to fly over to the podium::


Jamba: Thank you.


::Applause dies down::


Jamba: As you can see—


Dale’s voice (from somewhere in the theater): Hey! You didn’t write anything!


Jamba: *Pauses for a moment* As I was saying; As you can see, Jareth has still yet to arrive, so I will be reading his awards speech. *ahem*


::He lifts up a piece of paper and begins to read from it::


Jamba (reading for Jareth): I am very honored to receive this award. Not simply because it is shiny… (Shiny?…oh forget it-), but also because of what it means. It means that I won this award, not for my story, but for my skill as an author. I find the fact that I won especially encouraging, as this was the first story I’ve ever written… Ever! I’d like to thank all who voted for me, but I’d especially like to thank all of the other authors out there, specifically Loki and The Enduring Man-Child; your writing styles influenced me the most.


::Audience applauds as Jamba lowers the paper::


Jamba: Uhhhh…Oh heck, Darien got to do it.


::Suddenly, in a flash of white light, Jamba’s form disappears, a seven-foot tall, black, bat-like creature taking its place::


Jamba: There, now I won’t feel so left out.


::With a giant gust that blows the toupee off the chief of police, Jamba takes off and hangs from the ceiling; the people below him shifting around nervously::


Chief of police (feeling his head): *sigh* Not again…




-::Somewhere, in a land, one step removed from reality…::-


Jareth (walking down a dark tunnel): Where could it be? This is so stupid!


::He stops as he comes to a wall of hands::


Jareth: You wouldn’t have happened to see my pendant, would you?


::Some hands come together to make a <a href=“http://www.geocities.com/patricia_jean4/Labyrinth/Image/Labyrinth121.jpg”>face</a>::


Hands: Maaaaaaybe.


Jareth (folding his arms): Maybe?


::Some hands come together to make another face::


Hands: That depends; how badly do you want it?


Jareth: Badly enough to sever a few of you.


::Some hands come together to make yet another face::


Hands: Ooooh; we’re so scared.


::Random giggles emit from the wall::


::Some hands come together to make *yet* another face::


Hands: We know you don’t have time to do that right now.


Jareth (calmly): Hands, If you do not give me my pendant, water from the bog of eternal stench will rain from the ceiling, until you all die of the stench.


::Suddenly, a hand fearfully tosses the pendant to Jareth, who promptly catches it::


Jareth (putting the pendant on): That’s better.


::Jareth takes a good look at it::


Jareth: *sigh* There’re fingerprints all over it.


::As he leaves the room, he motions towards the ceiling. Immediately after leaving, green water begins to rain from the ceiling::




Jareth (too himself): You’re a mean one… Mr. Grinch…




::Back in reality, Monty is about to tell another story when the scent of cheddar distracts him::




::Monty zooms offstage, someone wisely keeping the door of the break room open to avoid getting a mouse-sized hole in it::