::Bud and Lou, from the Ranger episode “Good Times, Bat
Times” appear from stage left. Bud is wearing a modified snake tuxedo while Lou
is wearing his regular outfit. Bud is also looking a bit worse for wear after
being singed by Winifred::
Bud: Good evening, everybody. We’re here to award the Golden Acorn for Best Character Interaction. Now Lou, why aren’t you wearing your tux?
Lou: I was afraid to.
Bud: And why’s that?
Lou: I thought I’d look too appealing to the black widow spiders back in the neighborhood!
::The audience laughs, and Bud takes a swipe at Lou and misses::
Lou: Oh, you’re hopeless. Okay folks, best character interaction comes from having written the best dialogue between two characters in a story. This year, the nominees are as follows:
- Chip and Gadget, "Of Mice and Mayhem", Fish
- Lahwhinie and Foxglove, "Small Stories", Ronnie Rabbit
- The kissing scene, "Of Mice and Mayhem", Fish
- "The Last Will And Testament Of Chip Maplewood", Loneheart
::Bud watches as an attendant brings the envelope::
Bud: Any takers on who’s winning this one?
::Behind him, Lou’s holding up a small Fish sign. The crowd
laughs again as Bud takes the envelope and spits it in Lou’s direction,
knocking him off the podium::
Bud: Open it, mister eight-arms!
::Lou does so, putting the card on the podium for Bud to
Bud: And the winner is Fish, for the interaction between Chip and Gadget!
::The crowd stands and applauds as Chip and Gadget come to the podium together. Chip squints to read the teleprompter in front of them::
GADGET (also squinting): That's --right--Chop--uh..CHIP. Now ..the--world--knows..how..you and I--should ..be--to..gether
CHIP- And..we..didn't --need--any..crazy GLUE?? OK-that's it! Who writes this stuff??? Look-- I can't be a part of this tripe, Gadget, I'll be at the nut bar.
::Chip leaves, leaving Gadget still reading from the teleprompter::
GADGET: That's--right--CHIP--no..crazy--glue--to --keep..us..together--.
::Someone turns off the teleprompter and Dr. Batorious’ voice announces, “Fish will now finish speech in the interest of time and silliness control.” Clapping fills the auditorium, and Foxglove flies a wireless stick mike to Fish in the audience::
Fish: I had many people (1,000+ emails) tell me how much they loved the cute banter between my favorite furred duo, but I also got a few who saw it as treacle and impertinent to the story.
It's true- I did pump you all so full of sap you'll be blowing your noses with pancakes, but it was a fun distraction, right?
::The audience laughs, and Karl slaps Fish’s back::
Fish: Darn right. It must have been a little much to take for the anti- C&G'ers, and for that, I am very sorry. But for the rest who take the Chip and Gadget relationship scarily more seriously than their own relationships--
::Fish stands up::
Fish: Take comfort- your patron saint is on the case! And I do plan to focus more on the rest of the gang for the sequel.
::Fish sits back down, crossing his legs::
Fish: Due out sometime in the next Ice Age.
::The audience laughs and applauds again. Meanwhile, Gadget’s been making modifications to the teleprompter. When the attendant goes out to take the award offstage, he notices it’s flashing, “Out of Order”::