Best Use of a Recurring Series Character

::As the awards ceremony continues, Canina La Fur takes the stage, the famous show dog from the episodes “A Chorus Crime” and “They Shoot Dogs, Don’t They”. She blows kisses to the crowd then assumes her place behind the podium::

Canina: I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to be back here again. It seems like this ceremony’s been going on now for years and years and years…

::That gets the audience laughing, and soon Canina continues::

Canina: It’s great to see you all again, particularly that nice mouse—

Monty (from the audience): MONTEREY!

Canina: Oh hush, Motor Mouth. I was going to say it.

::After some more laughs, Canina gets things back on track::

Canina: I’m here to award the Best Use of a Recurring Series Character award. I can’t imagine why no one’s written a fanfic of me. Why in my day, I had hundreds of stories written about me—of course, some of them weren’t printable. But the Rangerphiles’ stories are, so let’s see who the nominees are for this year:

- Chip, “Away From It All”

- Gadget, “Gadget In Chains”

- Gadget, “Of Mice and Mayhem”

- Aldrin Klordane, “A Dream for the Ages”

- Monty, “The Return of Winifred”

Canina: My, that’s quite a lot! Now, we’d better see who won, don’t you think?

::Canina tears open the envelope::

Canina: Of course, if the winner’s shy I’ll be glad to say a few words on his behalf, accustomed as I am to accepting awards. But in any case, it’s Fish for his use of Gadget in “Of Mice and Mayhem”!

::Gadget walks up on stage, accepting the award for Fish::

Gadget: Holy Moley!! Well, I guess by definition- I <I>was</I> really used in this story. I felt used, all right. Caged, abducted, brainwashed, operated on, used to kill fictional dictators who look like Saddam Hussein, the list goes on. And all I made was scale.

::The audience chuckles appreciatively, and then Gadget signals for calm and it ensues::

Gadget: Next time I'll have a lawyer look over the script before I sign anything.

At least the script was somewhat finished, so I could have made an educated guess as to what I was in for. When I took on Loneheart's “Gadget in Chains” project, I thought he was talking about GOLD chains or something, because the story was in episodes that hadn't been written yet. I heard my agent left the country over that one.

::More chuckling, and the spotlight goes to Loneheart who shrugs and grins::

Gadget: Don't worry, I'll find him once “Chains” wraps. But sometimes I doubt I ever will.

::Gadget sighs::

Gadget: Well, tonight I'll be at the after-party spiking the punch with prison-hooch I “borrowed” from the “Chains” set. I'm in one of those “Lahwhinie” moods at the moment.

::Lahwhinie crosses her arms in the audience, causing Gadget to get a little nervous::

Gadget: Uhhmm-anyway—thanks for appreciating Chris' over-use of, um..I mean, heh heh- USE of me and will somebody please write me into a fanfic where I go to the French Riviera and NOTHING happens? I'll even settle for a yarn about an un-eventful shopping spree at Radio Shack, too.

::Gadget fixes her attention on Fish in the audience now, and the spotlight shifts to him::

Gadget: And as I accept this award for you, Chris, please take heed the online review about your “obvious Gadget fixation” and get fixated on Foxglove or Tammy or the treehouse or anyone or anything but me for the sequel? I'm beat.

::Fish laughs, along with the rest of the audience::

Gadget: Lastly- I just want everyone to know that my actions in the story had nothing to do with the recent undoing of a certain mid-eastern regime. Really.

::Gadget leans over the podium, getting her face close to the camera::

I didn't “poison” ANYBODY. The CIA wants you all to know that they would never use cute little rodents like me (I suppose? *blush*) to kill foreign leaders, no matter how much of a big jerk they are. HE was found under a carpet in a farm alive and well- and I certainly don't work for the government. I pretty much found him on my own time and alerted the proper authorities when I did.

::Gadget slaps her hand over her mouth, then mutters to herself::

Gadgt: Ooops. Uh oh…I think I was supposed to keep THAT part to myself

::The audience stands and claps in its appreciation. A few moments later Gadget’s cell phone rings and she has a quick conversation with someone::

Gadget: Looks like I'm gonna be “invited” to another debriefing from the National Security Agency after the show instead going to that party after all. Chip, could you save me some punch?

::Gadget takes the award from the podium, waving to the audience as she goes. She hands it to Fish, then waves at the dark-clad security men at the back of the theater. They nod back at her::