::From stage right comes Dr. Speck—he's not dressed in a tux, but has "upgraded" his looks a bit to a more contemporary sport coat, button-down shirt, and pants. He reaches the podium, smiles and nods to some people that he recognizes in the audience, and then clears his throat::


Dr. Speck: Thank you, everyone. I have been asked to present The Natasha Kashefipour Lifetime Achievement Award.


::Applause breaks out over the audience, and the good doctor waits until it ends::


Dr. Speck: For those few who don't know of her, Natasha Kashefipour was the original founder of The Acorn Cafe, recipient of the Plato for Outstanding Achievement—Honorary Ranger, and was easily the most energetic, enthusiastic, and passionate Rangerphile back when the community was just beginning to form.


::A picture of Natasha comes up on the big screen behind the doctor::


Dr. Speck: Indeed, the Cafe was formed because no newsgroup existed strictly for the Rangers, and Natasha took the lead in forming the cornerstone upon which the community was built. The recipient of this special award can take heart in knowing that the community has chosen said person as an example of someone who has shown unending care and interest in the Ranger fandom, as well as the Rangerphile community. This person is also recognized as being a model of what traits and attributes the community would most like to see advanced among itself. And so, without further ado...


::He reaches into his coat pocket and retrieves an envelope, deftly opens it, and then announces…::


Dr. Speck: The winner of this year’s Lifetime Achievement award is…Indy!


::The crowd rises as one, and the orchestra plays a dramatic tune as Indy stands up from his seat and heads for the stage. He shakes the doctor’s hand, and waves to everyone, blushing some. The applause goes on for a while and then they let Indy speak::

Indy: Well, as someone said, it’s not the years, it’s the mileage. And I’ve sure racked up some mileage coming up here tonight!

::The crowd laughs and applauds again::

Indy: This award is one that I had no thought of ever winning when I came to the Café. There were so many great and talented people in the community, and there still are. Again, I know that there are lots of people just as worthy of this honor as I am. The great writer who created the guy standing next to me is certainly one of them, and without his inspiration from the Plato Awards, we wouldn’t be here tonight. Matt Plotecher, my sincere thanks.

::Indy applauds Matt Plotecher, and the crowd responds in kind::

Indy: There are so many veterans I can point to that helped me to the place where I am tonight. The first name on the list has to be Paltiel Goldstein, because it was his Internet Gadget Archive that first clued me in to the online presence of the Rangers. Natasha Kashefipour gets a very big nod for founding the Acorn Café…


::The crowd interrupts with applause and Indy waits until they settle down::


Indy: …and for being such a good friend to me. I couldn’t stand by and see her creation die, and the community itself made it worthy of the highest efforts to save. Then there was the Enduring Man-Child. Man-Child’s great stories were what inspired me to write my own fanfictions. And it was a random comment by him during the early writing phase of “Times of Their Lives” that helped to make that story the epic adventure it came to be. Thanks, my friend.


::The spotlight shifts to Man-Child, and the crowd again applauds while he waves nervously. Then the attention returns to the podium::


Indy: Thanks also to Julie Bihn for being a grand friend and contributor of such wonderful things over the years. She and I have looked after the community for a long time now, and thanks to her Magic Sword ™, things have stayed peaceful.


::The crowd laughs as the spotlight shifts to Julie, who waves her makeshift sword around::


Indy: But most of all I’d like to thank a man who’s no longer with us. William “Tex” Henson brought Chip ‘n Dale to life and did all he could to promote them. Without him, there would be no Rescue Rangers.


::Indy motions off-stage and Chip and Dale come out, carrying an identical Lifetime Achievement Award, that they place on the podium. Chip and Dale stand on either side of Indy::


Indy: This award goes to Mr. Henson posthumously, and will remain on display at the theater in a special glass case. Thanks to you, Tex, for these two chipmunks that have made such a difference in our lives. And thank you, one and all!


::The orchestra plays again, and the crowd cheers as the Rangerphiles begin to come on stage and join with the Rangers in one big sing-along of the Ranger theme song. Up top in the rafters, three hooded figures (two <I>much</I> smaller than the other) could be found waiting at the end of their rope... er, <u>a</u> rope, rather::


Sewernose: Ah, can you imagine it as I am imagining it now? There will be such adoration, such fame, such a stellar performance! Ah, I can sense it now...


Voltaire: If you had that much sense, you'd have noticed you're missing it right now.


Euripides: He is right! Look! Your cue, your scene! It passes you by like so many other lost opportunities...


::Voltaire looks down below and gasps::


Voltaire: Quel dommage! Not that those would have worked out well, either...


Sewernose: No, I shall still make a triumphant entrance and save the show!


::And below, on stage right of the stage, a small hooded man in a tattered cloak chooses that moment to leap out and strike a blow for disrespected mad scientists everywhere::


Nimnul: Behold the power of the Aurum Attractum 5000 Gold Magnet!


::The crowd shouts in panic. The award remains still in Indy's hands, but about 12,000 pieces of jewelry from the audience suddenly take flight. The Gold Magnet very swiftly acquires about 50 pounds of weight and sags in its owner's grip::


Nimnul: Hey, what gives? That should have worked!


::Several Rangerphiles cringe, out of reflex::


Gadget: Hey! That's my line!


Mack JaCroix (from offstage in the distance): Wanna sue him?


Rennod: Gee, Indy, I guess your decision to skimp on the trophy budget paid off.


::Indy rubs the back of his neck, slightly embarrassed and somewhat bewildered at all that has transpired::


Indy: Ummm.... yeah, I guess so. Then again, it was either that or give everyone a living fit at the airports. It would’ve cost as much to take them back home as it would’ve to make them!


::Nimnul crawls out from under a pile of bangles, baubles and wristwatches::


Nimnul: Oooohh! Curses! How can I be foiled again? What's that rumbling noise? <I>Oh no...</I>


::Nimnul sheds his cloak and drops the Gold Magnet, dodging to the side as the golden statue Dim Sun was trying to give to the absent Mr. Plotecher thunders onto the stage and tackles the Gold Magnet, crushing the device but leaving the jewelry unharmed. A few rings roll out from under the pile and clatter to the stage. Nimnul stands and laughs cheerily::


Nimnul: Aha! I'm still free, and I have a head start! I'll be back! So long, suckers!


Sewernose: TA-DAAAAAAH!




::Sure enough, the gator comes swooping down, crashing into Nimnul and landing them both in a tangled heap. Sewernose jumps up, totally miffed::


Sewernose: How could you spoil my grand entrance? Peasant!


Nimnul: OOOoooOOOoohhhHHHhh... how could you spoil my perfect getaway?


Euripides: How could I let myself get talked into this mess?


Voltaire: It's your own fault! You encourage him too much!


Euripides: Well, if you wouldn't keep seeing the glass as half-empty all the time...


::About then the Rangers move in to take charge of the crooks and return the jewelry. As they move among the crowd, Rennod and Indy take the stage once again::


Indy: Well, I guess that about wraps everything up.


Rennod: I think so.


Indy: Except for one thing.


Rennod: What's that?


Indy: <I>This!</I>


::Indy quickly takes out a bizarre contraption, obvious put together by Gadget, which latches onto Rennod and applies a white button-up collar and black tie to his neck.  Indy smiles, satisfied::


Indy: There! That wasn’t so bad, was it?


::Rennod chokes and gags::


Indy: Hey... what’s with the turning blue?


Rennod: ....akkk......


::Rennod pulls out a pair of electrician's shears and uses the small scissors to cut the collar off. He staggers back, gasping for air. Gadget takes the stage, a stern frown crossing her face::


Gadget: Shame on you, Indy! You never said you'd use that to hurt anybody!


Indy: B-But ... he's not hurt!


Rennod: ... that's what you say....


Gadget: Maybe he's just happy being himself, and doesn't like getting all dressed up like someone he's not... like me.


Indy: But....


:;Indy felt a paw on his shoulder and heard a whisper in his ear::


Chip: Um, a word of advice, pal....quit now while you're ahead. Besides, I think she's right.... at the very least where that freak in the shades is concerned, anyway.


Indy: Point taken.


::The man in the fedora faced the man in the shades once more::


Indy: I'm sorry, pally. Forgiven?


Rennod: Yeah, why not...lesson learned.


Indy: Indubitably.


Rennod: Well, then, let's send this shindig packin'!


Indy: Agreed!


Dr. Batorious (announcing): Stay tuned, folks! One last thing to come…