::The lights start to dim…::

Dr. Batorious (announcing): And now, some memorable selections from some of the well-beloved Ranger stories over the years. Internet viewers, you can watch along with us at <a href=https://www.angelfire.com/tv2/indyranger/outtakes.html> this link </a>.

::The audience watches the outtakes, laughing then smiling and even a few crying::




::The pizza toast tray flew in a lazy arc above the crowed buffet room, streaming tasty morals of tomato sauce, cheese, and six kinds of toppings gloriously combined on toasted bread.  As the tray completed its arc and started down on the unsuspecting crowd, large slices of pizza toast began falling off—one, two, three. Then seven more as all ten pieces slid off the tray and began splattering the people below, drawing cries of surprise and dismay::

::Tammy had cornered a young, brown squirrel who kept shouting for someone named "Aunt Slappy", to come and save him from the crazy girl who had started chasing him when he had donned his favorite bowler hat::


Tammy: That is sooooo, cute!

Skippy: Noooooo!


::The poor kid hid his eyes, not wanting to see his doom::

Slappy: Alright there, that's enough little miss estrogen. Drop my nephew.

Tammy: Huh?


::Tammy looked up to see a large gray squirrel in a shawl, a hat with a flower in it, and holding a
purse like she knew how to use it. Aunt Slappy grinned::


Slappy: Skippy's too small for you anyways girly, but I think I saw a certain fedora clad
chipmunk wondering around in the poolroom.

::Skippy found himself dumped faster than an ugly rent-a-bride::


Skippy: Thanks Aunt Slappy.

Slappy: Ah, no problem kiddo.


::Slappy turned for the door, Skippy in tow::


Slappy: But what possessed you to come in here anyway?

Skippy: The sign said, free buffet, so I thought I'd grab some grub.

Slappy (smiling): You're learning nephew. Well, as long as we're here…


::Slappy had started towards the buffet line, intent on the whole sale consumption of free sustenance, when the toast hit her square in the face. Meanwhile, Chip came out of the poolroom, likely amazed that an opera house would contain such a facility. He’d just rounded the corner when…::


Tammy (nearing, melodious): Where art thou Chip?


::Chip cringes, but before he could flee into the crowd, hopefully to be knocked unconscious, Tammy spots him::


Tammy:  Oh THERE you are!


::She slams the hall door behind her, brandishing mistletoe like it was among the more lethal weapons. The chipmunk in front of her wouldn’t have argued that point::


Tammy: I've been looking all over for you!


::His only path of escape blocked, Chip could only scream as Tammy pounced::