::John Pesterfield watches Chip run after Lahwhinie to prevent her from leaving the building, then returns to the task at hand::
John: Finally we come to the Best Original Villain. Villains can also come in many varieties. You have the mad scientist like this.
::He raises his arms to the sounds of thunder and flashes of lightning::
John: It's alive, my monster is alive! Or you can be closer to the other end of the scale with the cold calculating villain.
::He pulls a desk from off stage and starts writing in a book::
John: If I raise the rent this much I can condemn the orphanage and the old folks’ home in time for Christmas!
::John allows a stagehand to remove the desk and returns to the podium::
John: These villains have been chosen some of the best in villainy:
Doctor Simon MoonMorton, by Jeff Wikstrom, from “Dance of the Dreams”
Mevos, by 8Bit Star
Officer Margo Haggs, by Loneheart, from “Gadget in Chains”
Ramrod, by Indy & Chris Silva, from “The Spy Who Loved Monty”
Strigidae, by The J.A.M.
The World's Deadliest Assassin, by KS, from “Roaches, Hamsters, and Ladybugs, Oh My!”
Tore, by Matt Plotecher, from
“Color Me Confused”
::John looks to make sure the way is clear for an escape if need be, then opens the envelope::
John: The winner is Strigidæ, from ‘Death of a Comedian’, written by The J.A.M.!
::Once again, the jaguar jumps up and hollers while the band plays “I Want To Know What Love Is”::
:: At the stage again, he calms down and continues::
J.A.M.: Believe it or not, I say that every time I see a home run or a touchdown, he he…um…
::He waits for the audience to stop laughing::
J.A.M.: Well, Strigidæ’s gone now, so I’ll be accepting this award on her behalf—
::A horrendous hooting makes everyone scream and flinch, as suddenly a HUGE female Great Horned Owl sweeps from the back of the audience to the stage!::
::Everyone screams and flinches, as suddenly the fearsome owl lady sweeps from the back of the audience to the stage!::
::And the jaguar warps out of the way just in time, too. Perching on the podium, she hoots::
Strigidæ : You all fear me now, just as you feared Ivana M. Killjoy? HA!! Just be glad that jaguar *didn’t* decide to make me an EAGLE OWL! Then NO ONE would have survived the Night Of The STRIGIDÆEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
::Everyone flinches and ducks and holds on to their loved ones::
Strigidæ: Though I *am* one-quarter eagle owl: my grandmother escaped from a zoo, a ha ha ha ha! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I was on my way to Pennsylvania. STRIGIDÆEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEE!!!!!!
::With that, she takes the award, and flies up into the rafters::
::And the jaguar returns to the podium::
J.A.M.: Um, sorry about that. Embodying Ultimate Evil, removing all manner of reasoning to negotiate, facing Ultimate Danger and being forced to make the Ultimate Decision wasn’t easy to write, especially with a precedent such as Ivana M. Killjoy. Thanks again to Roy Neal Grissom and Aivars Liepa for their suggestion, because without it then the Rangers might have faced something that couldn’t fly. And thank you all for voting!! ¡Gracias!
::Once more, the jaguar takes his award and clears the stage. John, who had long since found a convenient table to hide under when Strigidæ came zooming in, straightens his glasses, dusts himself off and heads for the curtain::