::The
music to “Law & Order” continues as a pretty red fox trots onto the stage,
a strange-looking old bird perched on her back.
It’s Mack JaCroix and Michelle Carabi, the two animal prosecutors from Rennod’s
“Claw & Antler: Small Animals Unit” story.
The audience is dead silent as they both approach the podium, where the
falcon takes a perch next to the microphone and begins to speak::
Mack
(sternly): Ladies and gentlemen, THIS IS A CRIME!
::Nervous
whispers break out as this sinks into the audience. The fox’s eyes widen::
Michelle:
Um, Mack...
Mack
(outraged): And I’m dead set on rectifying this.
::The
nervous whispers become conversations in volume::
Michelle:
Mack, what are you doing?
Mack
(still stern): It’s criminal because...
::The
fox looks around nervously, as if wondering when the mass panic is going to
start and the audience will either flee in panic or storm the stage in anger::
Mack
(normal voice): Something like this should have been done a long time ago!
::The
audience breathes a huge collective sigh of relief and relaxes::
Michelle:
(recovering her composure) Yes, that’s right Mack, it’s been far too long since
all the talent of this community was recognized. And that’s what we’re here to
do, to help recognize a formidable portion of that talent: the artwork produced
by the Rangerphiles.
Mack:
But all that wonderful art had to come from somewhere; what is art without an
artist? And so here we are. We’re here to present the award for Best
Artist.
Michelle:
The nominees for Best Artist are:
Mack:
(clears throat)
Michelle:
Chip N’ Death.
Mack:
An excellent anime artist.
Michelle:
Ruslan Matvienko.
Mack:
Is there anything the man can’t do?
Michelle:
Charles Williams.
Mack:
The Master of the Pencil Sketch.
Michelle:
Fubar Fox.
Mack:
An excellent line artist.
Michelle:
Matt Plotecher.
Mack:
How could such a multitalented artist not be included?
Michelle:
Morgan Kohl.
Mack:
His art has as much depth as his wonderful stories.
Michelle:
Murad Ismailov.
Mack:
Another fine artist from the great country of Russia.
Michelle:
And Shelley “Dannycat” Pleger.
Mack:
Brilliant color sketches.
Michelle:
Quite a list, no?
Mack:
Each and every one of them worthy of such an honor.
Michelle:
But this year, we can select only one.
Mack:
And that one is ...
::Michelle
holds the envelope in her front paws, while Mack uses a talon to slit the
envelope open::
Another
Voice From the Back: Hey! Why couldn’t you have let me do that?
Voice
From the Back: Because you’re a sparrow and he’s a falcon. Your claws aren’t
sharp enough!
::Mack
plucks the card from the envelope and holds it with his wings. He reads it::
Mack:
The winner is...Charles Williams!
::
The crowd goes wild ::
Michelle:
As Mr. Williams could not be here tonight, Chip and Dale will accept the award
on his behalf and present him with it later.
::Chip
and Dale walk onto the stage and accept the trophy, then exit the stage,
followed by Mack and Michelle. The music to “Mack the Knife” plays::
Mack
(fuming): Oooh!
Not again!
::The fox stifles a giggle and tries to remain quiet and composed as they leave::