::The band starts up with “The Candy Man” and a rotund German-accented fellow in green lederhosen comes out. It is Heinrich Von Sugarbottom, the confectionary criminal from “Chocolate Chips”. The human seems quite happy, and heads for the podium, eating a chocolate bunny::
Heinrich: Wilkommen, and be happy! That is my new motto, friends, for I have long since given up the criminal tendencies I once had. Now, I have my own TV show, “Happy Cooking with Heinrich”! Check your local listings!
::The audience murmurs and Heinrich continues::
Heinrich: I am ever so happy to be presenting the award for Best Short Story. I like the stories; they are ever-so-fun to read! But one must be best, yah? So, let us see. The nominees are:
“Chip + Gadget = Yes”, by Roman Bulygin (translated by Aivars Liepa)
“Lahwhinie Goes Hawaiian”, by Rem
“Let's Suppose Chip&Dale Behaved Slightly Differently After The Kidnapping”, by The J.A.M.
::Heinrich takes the envelope, putting down his chocolate first::
Heinrich: Now we see the winner is…himmel! A tie between them all! Ach, they tell me that Roman and Rem are stranded at the flughafen, and cannot be here. They say thanks to all for the nice award. But I think a certain jaguar will make up for their absence….
¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!!
::Calming down at the podium as the band plays “Edge Of My Heart”, one minute later the onça gasps for breath::
J.A.M.: Golly, that’s eleven in a row! Well now, I guess…that the BIGGEST thanks of all now…goes to none other than Roy Neal Grissom once again…
::He gets a bit emotional now::
J.A.M.: I just want to say that…I had a lot of doubts in writing this story, after all it only took me a week! But the thing is…that…well…after I read Mr. Grissom’s ‘Consummation’, alternate scenarios just began occurring to me, and…well…I submitted the story to him before anyone else saw it…and…I gave him the option of accepting or rejecting the story…
::He sighs emotionally::
J.A.M.: …if Mr. Grissom had disapproved, this story might have never seen the light of day, and it would still be sitting in my hard disk today…and neither ‘Death Of A Comedian’, ‘I Dream Of The New Ranger’, or Joseph Sturch’s ‘Heroes’ (currently in production), would have materialized, along with Jeff Wikstrom’s ‘The Mole’, a tangent off John Nowak’s ‘Sovereign’.
::The J.A.M. pauses, catching his breath again::
J.A.M.: Um, look, I know that this is the International Categories, but…Mr. Grissom practically wrote *half* this story first, which is why it only took me a week to write the rest. So come up here and say a few words!!”
::Man-Child waves from the audience, but declines to come forward. The J.A.M. tries twice to encourage him, but the modest fellow waives him off so the jaguar concludes::
J.A.M.: ¡¡Muchas gracias a todos!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO…!!!
::Waving his award and flag, he leaves the stage again. Heinrich continues eating his chocolate until someone waves him offstage::