::As the band plays, “I’ll Take You Home Again, Kathleen”, Camembert Kate, Monty’s mother comes on stage. She’s wearing a simple but nice pale blue evening dress, and receives a nice round of applause as she heads for the podium::


Kate: Cheeser, don’t slouch now.


::The spotlight goes to Monty, who had cringed a bit at his mother’s being here::

Monty: Aw, ma!


Kate: Now, you can either straighten up or you can go to your room.


::Laughs and giggles echo throughout the theater, and Monty takes his medicine and straightens up, grumbling::


Kate: That’s better. Now, I’m here to present the award for Best Original Female Character.


::Kate takes a look at the list::


Kate: My, my, there are a few, aren’t there? Well, let me tell you about them:


Dalee Oakmont, by The J.A.M., from “Death of a Comedian”

Feyanna, by The J.A.M., from “Death of a Comedian”

Strigidae, by The J.A.M., from “Death of a Comedian”


::Kate takes the envelope, as the “Mexico” chant starts up again::


Kate: Got to be a winner, and it is—my stars, a three-way tie between them all!



¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!!


::Here, both Dalee and Feyyanna both join the jaguar, but the owl lady doesn’t. The band plays “Total Eclipse Of The Heart” as the three bound down to the stage and the podium. Once everyone is there, Kate hands the three a broom.


Dalee: What’s this for?


Kate: For a clean sweep, lass.


::The audience laughs::


Kate:  Say, isn’t Strigidæ supposed to be here, too?


Feyyanna: Hey!! Doen’t menshunn *herr*!!

J.A.M.: Right, but it’s okay. I think she’s back in the Ladies’ Room again.


::The J.A.M.’s thoughts were confirmed when a torrent of angry French came from somewhere offstage, along with a very irritated “STRIGIDAAAAAAAÆ!!!” and the audience chuckles again::


 J.A.M.: However, I would like to clarify that Dalee here originally appeared in ‘Let’s Suppose Chip & Dale Behaved Slightly Differently After The Kidnapping’, along with her husband and

Chip’s parents, too. Dalee, and Pierre, were created by more or less splitting Dale in two, and Feyyanna was inspired by another original character of mine, Ianna (part of that fanfic I wrote long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away), and her accent was inspired by Brian Jacques  Redwall’ series, even though none of his characters speak with her heavy Texas Country accent.


Feyyanna: Weyell, Ah lakk ett.


::He smiles at her, and from out of the audience a whoop comes from a certain Texas prairie bat. Feyyanna waves and Bedivere waves back in return::


J.A.M.: Thanks. And Strigidæ, well, I already told you how she came into being. I would like to add that originally I planned on her being a male, original name ‘Cy’ and voiced by James Earl Jones, but then I saw that there were plenty of male villains already, so I made the change, and had her be voiced by Jackie Burroughs (the evil book in ‘Care Bears Movie’, and Morag The

Tolga Witch in ‘Ewoks’) . Since she’s unavailable right now, I’ll accept this award on her behalf.


::He takes the third award, and the females take theirs::


Dale (from the audience): GO, MOM!!


::Everyone laughs and Otis, also in the audience, gets in the act::


Otis: GO, COUSIN!!!


J.A.M.: Looks like you two got admirers already!


Dalee: All thanks to you, J.A.M.!


J.A.M.: And thanks to everyone who read my stories, and to everyone who voted,

¡Gracias! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO…!!!”


::Instead of waving the flag about, the jaguar takes the broom and sweeps the floor as the three leave, much to Kate’s approval. Kate looks up into the rafters, and wisely makes a hasty departure::