::A rat in a white lab coat steps out on stage, and the music from “Back To the Future” starts to play. The rat’s blond hair is frizzled on top, and he appears to have just stuck his finger in a light socket. He stops, starts, then begins to walk off until Indy and Rennod shoo him back on stage and whisper some instructions to him. It’s Sparky, the charged-up rat from “Does Pavlov Ring a Bell?” Sparky nods at Indy and Rennod, then has to walk over to them before taking the stage one more time, stopping at the podium::


Sparky: Uh, hello! It’s been a memorable night, I think…


::The audience laughs, knowing Sparky’s tendencies::


Sparky: When I got the invitation to come, I was as happy as Einstein was when he figured out the Theory of Relativity! And that’s plenty happy, mind you. Are any of you interested in quantum mechanics as it relates to multi-dimension theory? Oh, well then I’ll save the joke for next time. Anyway, here are the nominees for Best Use of a One-Shot Series Character:


“Death of a Comedian”, by The J.A.M., using Foxglove

“Death of a Comedian”, by The J.A.M., using Canina LaFur

“Death of a Comedian”, by The J.A.M., using Sparky & Buzz

“Lahwhinie Goes Hawaiian”, by Rem, using Lahwhinie

“Lahwhinie Goes Hawaiian”, by Rem, using Shaka-Baka


::Sparky takes hold of an electric letter opener, which begins operating the moment he touches it::


Sparky: And the winner is…oh, wait…what was the category again?


Indy and Rennod: You already announced it!


Sparky: I did? Oh, then I’d better announce the nominees.


Audience: You did that!


Sparky: Oh! Then I’d better announce the winner!


::The entire audience breathes out a sigh of relief::


Sparky: The winner is Foxglove, for “Death of a Comedian”, by The J.A.M.!



¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!!


::The band plays “My Heart Will Go On” as the jaguar bounds to the stage once more, while Foxglove flies above him to meet him at the podium. There, the bat lady blows kisses at everyone with her wings, especially at Dale who is jumping in his seat and cheering and whistling loudest of all. It takes a while for the audience to calm down, and that brings a tear or two to Foxglove. But even after the audience hushes, Dale continues whistling loudly until Chip bonks him, making the audience chuckle again. Emotionally, the pipistrell speaks::


Foxy: Um…sorry for Lahwhinie and the other nominees, I guess…


::Crying openly, she continues::


Foxy: I’m—so happy to receive this award—I’ve never been through so much, not only in this story, but in all the ones you’ve made—and received a more than the ample reward at the end of *this* story—I made so many new friends—and so many new fans—I got a new family too—and that includes you all—


::The audience claps at this, and some begin crying too::


Foxy: I can’t understand—why I only got one episode—but you all have brought me forth—and made me such a deep character—I thought I would be lost in oblivion forever—thank you Otis, for being with me—thanks, Feyyanna, also for being with me—thanks to Richard and Rosie—for all your support—to all the Rangers—and to you Dale—


::She can’t speak anymore, so the jaguar takes over::


J.A.M.: And thanks again to Bruce Talkington, Foxglove’s *true* father, for creating such a wonderful character, and to Deborah Walley—


::The audience goes silent at this name for several moments::


J.A.M.: …because we all know that wherever you are you’re watching us and cheering us on. Thanks also to Roy Neal Grissom for his fanfics, which inspired me to develop and make her deep and complex. And to all of you, for loving Foxglove, and for lifting her higher than she could possibly fly.


::He takes his award, holds it high, and both leave the podium::


J.A.M.: ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO…!!!


::Sparky joins in with The J.A.M.’s cheer for a moment, then assumes a look of total confusion::


Sparky: I thought we were in New York. Oh well, ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!!


::The lab rat leads the cheers as he leaves the stage, then promptly starts back to the podium::


Indy: What are you doing?


Sparky: I’ve got to present the award!


Indy and Rennod: You just did that!!!


Sparky: Oh, then I’d better be heading off. Bye, everyone!


::The audience chuckles some more as Sparky walks off stage::


…wings flapped…