Dr. Batorious (announcing): To present the award for Best Portrait, we have Mr. Dumpty, the egg-loving villain from “Three Men and a Booby”!


::Mr. Dumpty comes out, followed closely by his butler. The egg-shaped human smiles and waves to the audience, then heads to the podium—which is too tall for him. Dumpty whistles and gestures to his butler, who promptly brings a stepladder. Dumpty climbs up, and his oval face pops up over the podium::


Dumpty: Hello, everyone! I hope you’re having an egg-static time tonight…


::Dumpty waits for the laugh, but gets none, so he continues::


Dumpty: I am here to give the award for Best Portrait. Why didn’t someone do a portrait of an egg! They’re so perfect, so wonderfully balanced! Why, I have fifty-seven paintings of eggs in my house alone. The portrait of the red ibis’ egg alone is worth—


::The butler clears his throat, and reminds Mr. Dumpty of why he’s here::


Dumpty: Oh yes. I could talk on eggs all night, but down to the yolk of things. Here are the nominees:


Alone, by Ilya Pestov

Gadget in Captivity at Fat Cat, by Loki, from an Illustration to "Small Spring Adventure"


::Mr Dumpty receives the envelope, which he promptly opens with an egg-shaped letter opener::


Dumpty: And the winner is Alone, by Ilya Pestov!


::Gadget returns to the stage and the podium::


Gadget: Wow, two in a row! Ilya said to say thanks and now he’ll have some great acorn-shaped bookends!::


::Gadget waves to everyone and Mr. Dumpty walks off alongside Gadget, wondering if there are any good egg-shaped trophies around::