“Interview With the Mouse”, Candy Goldstein

 

"C'mon, Gadget," pokes Sally. The intensity is extraordinary. The tea is up to her knees. "Spill the beans! Tell us your wildest, most sinful, most unDisneylike fantasy!"

   Gadget can withhold no longer. Passionately she stands, bold and shameless, and declares, "It's kissing Kevin Costner." She inhales. "On the nose."

“Doubt of a Shadow”, Julie Bihn

"Just tell them both you're not interested," a vaguely familiar voice offered. Gadget looked up and saw the mouse who had saved her life the night before, standing in front of her bed. Gadget was rather frightened.

"H--how'd you know what I was thinking about?" she stammered.

The mouse smiled. "You were a little delirious," he said. "I heard you ranting about not loving Chip and Dale..."


“Claw and Antler”, Rennod (it’s to the tune of “Mack the Knife”)

 

Oh, that falcon, has pretty talons, dear....and he keeps 'em, razor-sharp
Coun-se-lor Ja-Croix, first name Mack-enz-ie, babe.....who-ev-er named him, named him, for a lark
When that shark bites, with his teeth, dear....scarlet billows start to spread
With legal pap-ers, Mack brings the heat, babe..and there's never, never a case go dead

In the prisons...Sunday morning, comin' down...there's a body doin' life
Someone's struttin' 'round the corner...could that someone be Mack The Kite?

There's a city....down by the river, don'tya know.....with a crime rate, goin' down
Oh, the jail's are, overflowin', dear...five'll get ya ten old Macky's back in town
Ole Johnnie Miller… he disappeared, babe...thought he'd buy his …. case with cash
Now he's gone, but Mack's... none-the-rich-er …. could it be our boy's...done somethin' rash?

There was three hens, see, and Miss Cara-bi…..Miss Lotte Lenya, and ole Lucy Brown
Oh, the line forms on the right, babe.....now that Macky's back in town

I said that line forms on the right, babe.....now that Macky's back in town!

 

 

“There and Back…AGAIN?”, by Matt Plotecher

 

"Well, sirs, the staff and I are ready. Shall we disperse?" Dragon asked politely. "I must say, sirs, this plan is very unique. Classifiable as mad, by some psychological directories."

     "Your point?" Megavolt and Nimnul asked in unison.

     "None, really, sirs." Dragon nodded. "Just speculating on how others may view the nature of this plan. They may consider you mad, by association."

Nimnul glanced and Megavolt. "But, we are mad."

 

 

“The Princess Thing”, anonymous(e)

 

She had just had an idea when she noticed Lear beside her, back in chains. Lear gave her a funny look and she didn't know what to think.

   "Kiss me," he said quietly.

   "Oh, even better," the princess said, "I've got a bandage. Where's the scrape?"

   The king made a lot of strange noises and the princess felt it most considerate to leave him alone, if he was in such pain. She left the bandage for him and went back to her corner to draw up plans.

 

 

 

“Mind Media”, 8-Bit Star

 

Frog flew in through a plot hole just then, and said, "Hey, the island is sinking everyone.  I know that for a fact. I made it happen!"

So everyone except Mademanna yelled "Frog, you IDIOT!"

 

 

 

“The Gift of Thundera”, Indy

 

"Oh, Dale," Foxglove cried, wiping away tears while trying to get her breath and only half succeeding. "You should have seen it! She went to the door, and he fell in, and after that...it was the funniest thing I ever saw!" At that point the giggles took over again.

     "Gadget, can you tell me?"

     "Oh, please ask Chip!" Gadget said. "If I try, I'll be in for it, too!"

     "Chip?"

     "Not a chance." And even Chip was grinning some, now.

     Dale stamped his foot. "Ooh, I'll find out some day. And when I do..."

He paused, uncertain what to say next.

     Gadget couldn't help herself. It was too good. "When I do, Bang! Zoom!"

 

 

“Rescue Rangers: World Leaders”, Man-Child. (From “Kat’s Tales From the Messageboards”)

 

"FOXY!" Dale exclaimed in a panic, "What if I'm wrong??? Ha-have you got those extra bazookas ready? Do the kids have on their combat fatigues? Do they have those grenade launchers with them? I need laetrile! Hand me a capsule before the FDA terrorists break in here and shoot us and confiscate them! Th-they have to suppress any real cure for cancer so they can use fear of the disease to COLLECTIVIZE us, y'know! Where's my flame thrower? Where's my tank? WHERE ARE MY COMIC BOOKS?????"

      "Oh Dale, you're so MANLY and POWERFUL when you're panicking and the veins are popping out of your neck and you look like you're about to have a heart attack!"

 

 

"Raiders of the Lost Presskit", Indy, TheBoz, and Karl (From “Kat’s Tales From the Messageboards”)

 

"Oh, you're just full of good news, today, aren't you?" Indy said. "Don't you remember what happened the last time we raided a place like this? You said we could get the Aztec artifacts without a problem. And who was the one who was picking Doberman teeth out of his posterior?"

 

 

“Fly To the Light”, Matt Plotecher

 

"Go ahead," his heart spoke. "Don't worry about anything happening, because you know it'll never happen. Something always interrupts, remember? Think of all the times you've tried it before and something interrupted. It just wasn't meant to be. So go ahead, it won't happen."
     Chip found himself observing things from a detached viewpoint. He noticed that he was slowly leaning closer to Gadget, his hands on her shoulders lovingly pulling him closer. Likewise, Gadget's hands moved up his sides to his own shoulders, bringer her nearer. As they closed, their eyelids slid shut again, both of them being guided by something that transcended mere physical senses. He was aware of every aspect of her. The refreshing coarseness of her overalls, the scent of her shampoo from this morning, the sounds from her mouth as her lips parted slightly open.
     The only reason why Chip wasn't shaking like a leaf was due to his heart's whispered assurance that someone would burst in through the door any minute now, breaking the mood. After all, they had both been absent from the others for some time now, and while he wasn't of much consequence, Gadget's absence would most certainly be noted soon. And they would come looking for her, eventually trying Chip and Dale's room, stepping in and spoiling the moment. It made perfectly logical sense, and Chip took solace in his heart's reassurances.
     And so, it was quite to his surprise when he felt Gadget's warm lips press against his.
     "I lied," his heart grinned.

 

 

“The Rod Squad”, Man-Child (From “Kat’s Tales From the Messageboards”)

 

DALE: No, but I know someone who might know. The grooviest far-out chick in the gritty inner city. The chick who's protecting the people from HASSLES and RIP-OFFS by the MAN (when she isn't passing out tracts for the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society). Whenever there's trouble or exploitation in the inner city, the People cry out with one voice: GET FOXY GLOVE!

CHIP: Let's go check out this far-out chick of yours, Dale my man! [They give each other ten and commence boogeying to the music of Seals and Croft on the radio. Hey! It could have been Hamilton, Joe Frank, and Reynold, so no griping!]

 

 

“Soul Searching”, Mike Demcio

 

"Take, care Walker," she called out softly before she began to make her way forward toward headquarters once more. "Say hello to my dad for me." Taking but a step as she uttered these words, the sound of a wind rushing through the trees behind and above her suddenly drew her attention. Turning, she looked to find a set of words, formed from dirt carried by the wind, laying upon the path at her feet.

     "I will," the message said.