Best poet

 

Asides=black

bock's comments=red

Foxgloveís comments=blue

 

::(backstage) bock's, somewhat out of breath from pushing his car off stage, catches his wind as the previous winner delivers their acceptance speech. Foxglove walks up to the Bearcat::

 

[color=#0000FF]That was quite possibly the most juvenile thing I seen in some time.[/color]

 

[color=#FF0000]It worked. She won't be blowing another engine tonight.[/color]

 

[color=#0000FF]We're on a boat..... where was she going to go?[/color]

 

[color=#FF0000]You'ld be surprised. But don't worry your pretty little head. It's taken care of. YO! Zipper.[/color]

 

::Zipper flies over. bock's hands the fly a C-note::

 

[color=#FF0000]Thanks, Bro. Couldn't have done it without you.[/color]

 

::Zipper accepts the payoff and buzzes off with excitement. Foxglove cocks her head and stares down bock's::

 

[color=#0000FF]What was that all about?[/color]

 

[color=#FF0000]Just a little bit of fun.[/color]

 

::bock's pulls out his Ruger and opens the loading bay. Rotating the cylinder, the cartridges fall out one by one into his hand::

 

[color=#FF0000]Blanks.[/color]

 

[color=#0000FF]But..... I saw your tire go flat![/color]

 

[color=#FF0000]Zipper loosened the valve stem while Lawhiney wasn't looking. I cleared everything with Indy earlier. Pretty slick, huh?[/color]

 

::Foxglove smiles coyly at bock's::

 

[color=#0000FF]You let Evil bock's out tonight, didn't you?[/color]

 

[color=#FF0000]You know it, babe! He deserved a chance to get some exercise. [/color]

 

[color=#0000FF]Well, don't let him stray too far. Oh..... looks like you're on![/color]

 

[color=#FF0000]Oh, crud! Later.[/color]

 

::bock's makes his way once again to the podium::

 

[color=#FF0000]Hi everyone! Didja miss me? Too bad.[/color]

 

[color=#FF0000]At this time, it is my honor and privelege to present the award to this year's best poet. There is no lack of talent among the members of the Cafe. Among us, some express this talent in verse. Whether it is expressed as Haiku, comic doggerel, or epic,.... poetry has the ability to fascinate a broad spectrum of tastes. As a past winner of this award, I take special pleasure in awarding this year's winner. So without further ado, the winner for "Best Poet, 2008", is...Bubblesí Big Brother![/color]

 

::The brown, furry aardvark, dressed in his finest top hat and tails, known as Bubblesí Big Brother and his financeí Joanie were seated next to each other, with their special guests from Poke seated on either side of them. One was the alien scientist Davros and the other was one of his cyborg creations, the giant construct known as the Dalek Emperor::

Dalek Emperor: He called your name! Rise! Rise and accept your award!


Joanie: Congratulations, baby.


Davros: Excellent, BBB! You have conquered! You have crushed the opposition into powder! You have exterminated the competition!

::A chorus of ĎExterminate!í rose up from the mass of Daleks seated on the row behind them. BBB, however, never moved::

Joanie: Honey? Are you okay?


BBB: Oh, Iím fine.


Joanie: Then why arenít you going up to get your award?


BBB: Wait a minute! You mean, I actually won?


Joanie: Of course you did! They just announced it.


BBB: I know, but I thought it was another one of my insane delusions.

bockís Car (on stage): Uh, BBB, I know this is your moment, but we donít have all night.

::BBB at once hopped up from his seat and began hurrying towards the podium::

BBB: Iím coming! Sorry, but you know, I have people give me stuff all the time and it turns out to be only in my head. That incident where I thought the Rocketeer gave me his jetpack was really embarrassing, to say nothing of painful. I still canít believe I survived that two story drop.

::BBB walks onto the podium where Bockís Car presents him with coveted Golden Acorn Award for Best Poet. BBB clasps it to his chest, as a tear rolls down his eye::

BBB: This is the happiest moment of my life!

::He is interrupted by a loud, throat clearing from the audience. Quickly the skewered mind of the aardvark races to save himself. He smiles and looks toward his finance::

BBB: That is, next to the day you agreed to marry me, sugar lump.

::BBB turns and looks nervously out at the crowd::

BBB: Did I mention that Iím dedicating this win to Joanie, who is my inspiration in all things?

::Out in the audience, Joanie smiles at him. The aardvark breathes a sight of relief::

BBB: In all seriousness though, you have no idea how honored I am to receive this award. When I was growing up, my mother was a professional teacher. She had dreamed of being a teacher all her life, and she gave up that career to home school my siblings and me because she was disappointed that the schools in her area were dumbing down the curriculums to improve their grade point average.

 

One of the classes she taught us was poetry. Every two weeks weíd have to memorize a new poem to help with our memory skills. That one class impacted me more than just about anything I can think of. I have since become a published poet, a seldom published poet itís true, but a published poet nonetheless. I want to thank my parents for the financial sacrifices they had to make, not only in my mother giving up her paying job, but for all expenses that home schooling brought. I would equally like to thank the members of the Cafť who considered by meager submissions as worthy of this august award. I am truly honored.

::The crowd begins to applaud as BBB returns to his seat. As he does, he finds Davros wiping away tears from his eyes::

Davros: That was touching. I havenít been this happy since the last time I nearly destroyed the entire universe.

BBB: Me neither, Davros. Me neither.

 

::bock's waves to the crowd and leaves the stage::