Best Original Website Section
::With a slight flicker, the AI bat
(one of them) appears on stage::
AI: Ladies and gentlemen of all species…
::AI continues without the long digression of its presentation the previous year::
AI: I am here to present the award for the Most Original
Website. As some of you may recall, I presented the same award two years ago,
at which point I indicated a hope that studying the pages nominated might give
me a means of quantifying and analysing originality.
Unfortunately, I have so far been unsuccessful. Since every one of the pages analysed was original, and since they covered such a broad range, I have found a large number of candidates for originality - including the html tags that are found in every webpage, which Chip tells me have nothing to do with originality - and I need to find out which of the candidates is original and which are not.
::AI refers to the main screen behind it::
AI: However, although I am therefore a poor judge of
originality, I am told that all of these nominees are widely considered
::As it announces each nominated page, the page appears on the large plasma screen at the back of the stage::
AI: 'Pluto's Christmas Tree Stills' by
::AI pauses a moment to allow the audience to take in that information::
AI: Once again, I am hopeful that once I add the analysis of
these pages to my previous work, that I may be able to quantify originality. It
would also be useful if I could find a decidedly unoriginal page to compare
them against. Given that Pupspals has received 37.5% of the nominations for
this award, another way to continue my research might be to analyse
every page she's ever made.
::As it spoke, the AI takes an envelope from the podium, opens it, and glances at the contents::
AI: It further appears that originality is not a binary on/off state, but a fuzzy continuum in which it is sensible to speak of one page being more original than another. In such a situation, it is also sensible to speak of the most original page or pages, which in this case would be the page by
::Was it a mistake? No, they were calling her again! She'd better get up there and get her Golden Acorn::
Dale (from the audience): And animals!
Thank you everyone that voted and bothered to look at my
::She pauses, not sure what else to say::
::She waves her tail in nervous self-consciousness, then Zipper comes up and gives her a hug, buzzing words to the effect that he knows how it is not to be heard well::
::Tanka comes up on stage now and stands with the lights shining off of her. She holds up her award::
Tanka: Hey, I’ve gotten the Best Original Website Section Award for the fifth time in a row. I have an idea—let’s exclude this nomination from voting next year and directly give the award to me. Agreed?
Tanka: Oh, just kidding! Thank you everyone for your support! You reminded me that it's too early to retire. Hope that this year will be more prolific for me!
::The AI quietly vanishes from the stage::