BEST ORIGINAL COSTUMING
::Two dressed-up birds of prey enter the stage, one from each side. Erica, a Red-Tailed Hawk in a long red dress matching her tail feathers, comes from the left, and Gordon, a Great Horned Owl in a black swallowtail, white shirt, black bowtie, and black top hat, comes from the right::
Gordon: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! My name is Gordon, and the lady on the other side of the stage is Erica.
Erica: We've come a long way from—BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Gordon: What's up now?
Erica (falls on the floor): AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! Oh my GAWWWWWSH!
Gordon: Erica, get up and behave yourself! We have to give away the Best Original Costuming award!
Erica: Right, I hereby give it to you! You in that outfit, that's too original! And that hat... prizeless! Got it? Prizeless!
Gordon: There's an audience out there, in case you failed to notice.
Erica: Well, the fact that they're still there doesn't speak for their fashion taste, hah hah hah...
Gordon: Erica, please!
Erica: Or they're paralyzed by your appearance, that's it! I mean, look at what they are. Mice, rats, bats, squirrels, chipmunks, and so on! We could go and prey on them, and they probably wouldn't run since you came with that coat set on 'stun!'
Gordon: If anything, I could go and prey on them. Face it, Erica, even a paralyzed bat would fool you and get away.
Erica: Says who? The owl who was so smart to throw himself in front of an 18-wheeler just to have one chance to catch that city slicker bat?
Gordon: At least I both saw and heard the truck. Something I can't say about you and that cactus. And now let's hand over this award to the deserving winner.
Erica: Aww, who's flying an evasive maneuver here?
Gordon: This isn't an evasive maneuver, this is a shortcut. Time is running, y'know. Now come here and read this. (holds up the list of nominees)
Erica: The nominees for Best Original Costuming are:
- Gadget RockNRolla by
- RangerBound by Lilacstarprint
- Munks N' Roses by
- A Little MOUT Training by TinManNFO
Gordon: Thank you.
Gordon: Just wanted to say something you didn't expect. Like, "thank you."
Erica: Well, I didn't expect it all right.
Gordon: And now for the lucky winner. (takes the envelope) Erica, hold your head still.
Erica: What are you up to this time?
Gordon: Just do it, or do you want me to believe you can't even do that?
::Erica holds her head still, and Gordon rips the envelope open on her sharp beak::
Gordon: Things you probably didn't know yet, ladies and gentlemen: Hawks come with a built-in letter opener.
Erica: I'm glad I could be useful... Otherwise I'd ask myself why I'm wasting my time here while you're wasting everyone else's...
Gordon: And now comes the moment to reveal who of these four artists is lucky enough tonight...
Erica: Wait. I want to read out the winner's name.
Gordon: You already read out the nominees.
Erica: Because you made me. In between playing the sole Master of Ceremony. And now it's my time to choose.
::Gordon pulls a sign out of nowhere and holds it before his chest. It reads, O RLY? Erica replies by pulling a mirror out of nowhere and holding it in front of Gordon's face. On the bottom of the mirror is written, YA RLY::
Gordon: If you think you can do it better...
::Gordon holds the envelope over to Erica who takes the sheet out of it::
Erica: And the winner is... TRASH!!!!
Gordon: Having your name cried out by a hawk: Priceless.
::The crowd shouts back to the affirmative::
Dale (from the audience): Hey Gadget, keep that costume and we’ll go on tour with Iron Goose!
Ograth (from the audience): GOOOOOOOSE!
Gordon: That was Best Original Costuming!
Erica: Which went into the wrong hands because this owl here wasn't eligible.
Gordon: And now on to the next award, Best Illustration Inspired by a Fanfic! Good night, everyone!
Owler (in the audience, shouts): HOOOOOOOOOT! Gordon, you're my hero!
Owlor (sitting next to him): Shut up, Owler!
Owler: Go ahead, make me!
Gordon: See, I've got at least one fan here.
Erica: And what a fan it is...
Gordon: Now let's go prey on the buffet. Don't worry, there's not a cactus around.
Erica: And no 18-wheeler either.
::Gordon and Erica walk offstage::