Best Author

::Charles Roberts comes out to a blare of trumpets giving a royal fanfare, dressed as Jerry “The King” Lawler wearing a robe and crown over wrestling duds while he heads to the stage::

Red Sonic (from the audience): Wrestlemania!!!

::Charles puts his crown on the podium::

Charles: We are here to honor the Best Author of this past year. Truly, this is a crowning moment, for the best author of the Rangerphile community stands at the head of a list of many great writers. Any of our finalists are worthy of the award, but only one—unless there’s a tie—can take the prize.

::Charles looks stage left to Indy::

Charles (to Indy): Hey, if there’s a tie can we have a Texas cage match to decide the winner?

Ograth (from the audience): CAAAAAAGE MAAAAATCH!

::Charles returns his attention to the waiting audience::

Charles: The finalists are….

Zaptiftun

Mr. Spumoni

Bubbles’ Big Brother

Mayhem

Gyrotank

Ranger Ready

Midnight Man

L. Cranston

::Charles takes the envelope out of his crown and opens it::

Charles: The Winner of the Best Author award goes to the rookie, weighing in at 225 pounds, the Miracle from Mississippi, the Aardvark of Writing Awesomeness, Bubbles’ Big Brother!!!!

::The royal music begins to play again as the spotlight goes to BBB in the audience. Everyone rises to applaud. BBB is silent for a moment. He squeezes his finance Joanie’s hand and then blinks::

BBB: I heard that wrong, didn’t I? I must have heard that wrong.

Joanie: You won, baby.

::The Aardvark swallows hard and then rises. He walks quickly but with some dignity. For this time, as he walks onto the stage, all vestiges of comedy or insanity have left him. He is completely serious, and more than a little overwhelmed by this honor.

He receives the award graciously, and stands before the awards podium with a look of complete disbelief etched onto his features::

BBB: Best Author, I just … this has got to be a mistake.

::The audience applauds the more. BBB looks over to stage left where Indy stands, grinning. He shakes his head and points to him, motioning for him to continue. BBB collects himself and looks back to the audience::

BBB: I’m not even going to pretend to give a speech here. A speech is something you give to strangers or to sound big and important. I’m neither and none of you are strangers. I’ve been here less than a year. I never even thought my story was worth an award until Lane mentioned I might win one on the comments section of my story thread.

::BBB collects himself::

BBB: And I really wanted to win one, I really did and I’m very happy that now I seem to have won four, but this … Best Author? It’s beyond anything I deserve. Since coming here I’ve been exposed to so many good writers. Dr. Indy and Chris Silva, RangerReady, Zap and Cranston and Spu and the others and I just … this is too much! I am honored that anyone would even consider voting me for best author.

To think that enough of you did so that I actually won over the people I’ve already named as well as the many talents I’ve failed to mention … there are no words. I just … thank you. Thank you so much. I’m going to try and do the Café proud in the next year. Joining this website has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Thank you again. Thank you.

::The crowd stands as one and cheers as BBB holds up his trophy. Indy comes over from stage left and shakes his hand and the cheers go louder still. Then BBB leaves the stage slowly, a hint of reluctance in his step to give up the moment. Even as he does, his writer’s mind is going::

[i]And so BBB left that august podium which stood before that grand and glorious gathering, with an award in his hand, a tear in his eye, and a swell of joy in his heart. He would remember this moment for many years to come and do so with the most sincere appreciation and gratitude any aardvark had ever known.[/i]

::Charles Roberts regains his crown, bows to the audience and head off stage left::