Best Action Adventure




::The lights swing around to where Zap Tifun and Sal Spumoni are trying to get comfortable in their booth and seat. They’ve got a few Golden Acorns around them already, so it’s harder than it sounds::


Spu (struggling to stand): More?


Zap (calling across the theater): Looks like, Spu.


::“Psycho” by Puddle of Mudd plays as the two make their way down to the stage, and as they come up to the presenter Spu looks to the speakers::


Spu (smirking): We gotta’ get you a theme song for next year.


::The two lift their awards up so that the crowd can see them, and applause breaks out::


Spu: Action and adventure is what this fandom is about.


::Spumoni grunts a little as he puts the award on the stage::


Spu: Many of our greatest works have fit into this category, and most of our prolific and talented writers have tried their hands at it…


Zap: Great action adventures make possible a lot of what we consider fanon…


::Zap rests his Golden Acorn across his shoulder::


Zap: …making up a lot of what we believe about ourselves. There was a lot of great action and adventure stories out there this year…”


Spu: Agreed.


Zap: And we would like to congratulate everyone who tried their best at it over the last year and who are currently writing! We especially want to thank everyone who read Awakening and who constantly drove us to try harder each week and over the long months.


Spu: We can only say that you guys all rock.


::The august Aardvark was once again bowled over by an unexpected win. After receiving a peck on the cheek by his fiancé Joanie who was seated next to him, and a few congratulatory comments from his special guests Davros and the Dalek Emperor, Bubbles’ Big Brother rose from his seat and approached the podium, but just before he reached it, the Ninjas attacked!

Back in her seat, Joanie groaned::

Davros: Does this sort of thing happen to him often?
Joanie: You have no idea.

::After another long, drawn out, and pointless adventure on the awards stage and having foiled the ninjas, their Martian accomplices, and Mars the god of war himself, a harrowed Aardvark took to the podium, received his award, and cleared his throat::

BBB: I have to say I’m honestly surprised at this one too. I know Tears had some action, but I generally thought of it as a drama. I’ve never really considered myself to be very good at writing action, so it’s nice to know there are others out there who might disagree.


I think I should give an honorable mention to a comic book writer named Geoff Johns whose unparalleled ability to think up new and worse situations to place various comic heroes in was something of an inspiration to me while I was writing ‘Tears for the Devil’. I would also like to thank my readers for encouraging me, and for voting for me. This award, like all the others, is something I’m going to cherish. It’s an honor that I humbly accept, and I thank you all.


::Gyrotank rolls up on stage in his Gyromobile, pops the top and excutes a perfect flipping dismount to land on his feet behind the podium::


Gyrotank: Wow! Wow! Wow! The Acorn for Best Action! What an adventure!


::The audience laughs::


Gyrotank: Ahem... Well, that was really unexpected and I'm just overwhelmed,you know. Thanks everybody, especially the Rescue Rangers and Gadget in particular for surviving the action I put them through! Guys, you were great as always!


::Chip gives Gyrotank a “thumbs-up” and Gadget waves back, smiling::


Gyrotank: I'd also like to thank Mr. Fish for his glorious masterpiece 'Of Mice and Mayhem' which re-sparkled me as a Rangerphile, introduced me to the fandom and gave me an opportunity to write what I've written while changing my life in a very good way! Thank you!


::Gyrotank takes his award, hops in the Gyromobile and leaves stage left. BBB makes a long sweeping bow, then returns to his seat without incident. Zap and Spu lift their awards over their heads and head back out into the audience. Severe Weather Eddie collapses and goes to sleep on stage from just having made the deadline for his presentation. A stage hand starts out to wheel him off in a cart, but Indy stops him::

Indy: It can wait. He needs the rest.