::The AI bat walks out onto the stage. On the side, hidden behind the curtains, Dr. Indy stands and worries. After what it had done last year, he'd decided not to let the AI present an award again this year...only the combination of a lack of presenters and the combined requests of Gadget, Chip, and the AI itself had permitted him to give it one last chance::
::The AI's Protocol 7-generated body walks out towards the microphone and stops.
AI: Ladies and gentlemen…
::Dr. Indy starts to breathe a sigh of relief that it hadn't started off on a tangent like it had on the first, second, third, fifth, eighth, and seventeenth rehearsals::
AI: Chipmunks and mice…
::Dr. Indy's sigh of relief stops::
AI: Bats, squirrels, artificial intelligences, foxes, rats, bearcats, flies...
::From offstage, Dr. Indy waved at the AI to get on with it. It waves back, not pausing::
AI: ...voles, moles, lizards, owls, pythons...
::Gadget, who had prepared for this, passes Dr. Indy a sign reading, "Get on with it." He holds this up where the AI could see it but the audience couldn't::
AI: ...and sundry other mammalian, reptilian, insectile, piscine and other forms of life.
::Indy breathes easier again as the AI finally continues::
AI: I am here to present the award for the best website layout. The layout of a website is a complex problem, involving the use and adjustment of many hundreds of factors. For one example, the navigation of the site; does one include a common set of top-level links on all pages, or does one go so far as to include a full menu system in a separate frame?
Are the link above the page, below the page, or to the left of the right? What does one do to cater for those who are dumped into a subcategory on one's page by a direct Google search - does one re-route them to the impressive front page, does one leave them with an easily-seen menu interface, or does one do as so many pages do and leave them stranded with no idea how to find the rest of the site?
::The AI waves back at the waving Indy again::
AI: And then there is technology; with more complex technology, one can make a more impressive website - but always at the cost of potentially leaving more people unable to view the site that you had made. There are several strategies to handle this problem - but perhaps this is not the time to go into detail on the subject.
Among those websites catering exclusively to Rangerphiles, there is a wide variety of layouts, some more successful than others. The Rangerwiki, for example, bears a common set of links on the left of every page, and a logical system for predicting the address of any page from the heading thereof; while Dr. Indy's captions page, on the other hand…
::The AI waves at Indy again, reads the notice which now reads, "FINISH UP YOU IDIOT OR YOU'RE SCRAP METAL!!!::
AI: …perhaps I should not go into that right at this moment.
::The audience laughs and AI continues::
AI: The nominees for the 'Best Website Layout' award are as follows:
Russian CDRR Portal
Tanka's CDRR Pages
AI: A complete analysis of the layout, navigation and—
::The AI reads the notice again. Indy has turned the sign around and written. YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES BEFORE I COME OUT AND DISMANTLE YOU!!!::
AI: —sundry other factors would be too long for this speech. Therefore, let me get on with it and simply announce the winner. Or winners, as the case may be.
::The AI had been schooled on this portion quite extensively. It pulls out the envelope, uses Protocol 7 to pull a large knife out of the air, cuts the envelope open, pulls out the paper inside, and lets the knife vanish and the envelope drop::
AI: The winner, determined by vote, of this year's Golden Acorn for Best Website Layout is...actually two winners. RangerReady for the RRHQ and Ruslan for the Russian CDRR Portal!
::The AI takes the Golden Acorns and takes one step back, holding them out, waiting for the winner to take it—after which the AI simply vanishes, the awards clunking on the stage::
RangerReady: An HTML programmer, an HTML programmer....my kingdom for an HTML programmer!
::RangerReady walks up to the podium, his nose halfway buried in a computer code manual::
RangerReady: I had no idea what I was getting into, when I first tried this...but the more I've kept with it, the more I've learned...and the more I've strived to make RRHQ the best website that I can make it. Thanks to all of you, who've shown such an interest in this project...and given me a reason to keep it going. My gratitude, to you all, my good friends. Thank you!
::Ruslan follows RangerReady, takes his award and faces the audience::
Ruslan: My friends, thank you for your votes for the Russian CDRR Portal. It is good to know that so many still think of it so highly. I hope it will remain so in the future.
::Ruslan and RangerReady head offstage::