::Chip and Dale come onto the stage, Chip from the left and Dale from the right. Dale is carrying a large box labeled ACORNS. On noticing this, Chip stops for a moment, and then hurries forward; they meet at the microphone::
Chip: Dale, what is that?
::Dale looks surprised::
Dale: This? This is my acorn box.
Chip: I can see that, Dale, but why do you have it on stage?
Dale: Well, when Indy asked us to do this presentation, he said I must bring my best nutcase, and this is the only nut case I have.
::Chip puts his head in his hands for a moment::
Chip: Dale, you ARE a nutcase.
Dale (laughs): Yeah, I know! When I asked everybody who was going to win best nutcase this year, they all said it was me.
::Chip opens his mouth, thinks a moment, closes his mouth again::
Chip: I'm not really all that surprised. When was this?
Dale: Well, you remember Gadget's automatic pie maker?
Dale: Just after that.
Chip: So... you walked up to people with banana cream pie dripping down your ears and into your collar, and asked them who the best nutcase was?
Dale (grinning): Yep! Best time, 'cause if I got hungry, I had most of a banana cream pie real handy and ready to eat!
::The audience laughs::
Chip: I... see. Well, why don't you take your acorn box off the stage and leave it in the wings for the moment, so that we can actually present the award?
Dale: Don't I need it?
Chip: No Dale, you won't need it during this presentation.
Dale: What if I get hungry? I don't have a banana cream pie handy this time.
Chip (testily): Then you wait until AFTER the presentation before eating!
::Dale wanders off stage and returns without the acorn box. Both chipmunks then step forward to the microphone and Chip clears his throat::
Chip: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present the award for Beeeest Nutcase! And the nominees are:
Chip: And of these fine nominees, only one is worthy of the elusive title of Best Nutcase!
::Dale nods vigorously before pausing and posing dramatically::
Dale: There Can Be Only One! Unless there's more than one…
Chip (mutters): If the Rangers were eligible, I'm sure you'd win every time…
Dale (mutters back): You're just jealous 'cause nobody ever wrote 'Death of a Detective'.
::Chip thumps the lectern::
Chip: Am not!
Dale: Are too!
Chip: Am not!
Dale: Are too!
Chip: Am— (Chip pauses). I refuse to get drawn into this argument!
Dale: I bet you wouldn't if one of the RRtists was drawing it.
Chip: I'd still refuse!
Dale: Would not!
Chip: Would too!
Dale: Would not!
Chip: Wou- aaaargh!
::Turning his back on Dale, Chip opens the envelope::
Chip: And the winner is…
Dale: Hah, told you it could be more than one! My charm and presence is rubbing off more than I thought!
Chip: Yeah, like a viral infection…our winners are Yunkel and Racebest!
::Chip and Dale stepped back from the lectern; they appeared to be whispering "Am not!" and "Are too!" at each other as soon as they were away from the mic::
::Yunkel leaps up from his seat, his face revealing genuine surprise at the same time he exclaims his typical, "Oohh!" After a deep breath followed by a long sigh, he steps up to the podium and accepts happily the Award from Chip and Dale::
:The audience stops applauding, waiting (and hoping) for a quick acceptance speech. Yunkel takes a little time before speaking::
Yunkel: Holy golly, I... I'm really surprised, t-this... th-this is something I'd never imaginated…
No, not the fact that I won, that's hardly a surprise since my magnitude of charisma and knowledge is far above the average standards. But the fact that I always thought the word 'nutcase' meant crazy or something like that. But now I realize that its true meaning is Wise and handsome!
::A ripple of laughter goes throughout the hall::
Yunkel: So I won the Best Wise and Handsome Man award, which also happens to be the highest-ranking, most-important golden acorn award in the entire ceremony!
Chip (aside, whispers): Yep he earned this award…
Yunkel: I expected no less from myself. Bwa hahaha!
::The public jeers at Yunkel and shows their nonconformity with their thumbs pointing down repeatedly::
Yunkel: What? It's so hard to accept the terrible truth? You were the ones who voted for me in the first place.
::The boos increase. Yunkel raises his hands in sign of surrender::
Yunkel: Alright, alright. I was just kidding. Charlie, lower that bucket of cold water, I really know the true meaning of nutcase.
::Charlie slowly lowers the bucket and the rest of the audience, the vegetables::
Yunkel: In all seriousness, I feel I must thank you all, fair community, because it's you who accept all my craziness and annoyances, sometimes with a scowl but most of the time with a smile. Thank you very much for your preference, I love you all!
::Yunkel bids the audience farewell with his hand and returns to his seat showing off his beloved award to anybody he passes near by::
::Racebest hears his name announced and throws his popcorn in the air with a loud "WOOHOO!" He then proceeds up towards the stage, high-fiving all the aisle patrons. Once he gets to the podium, it is evident that this award is truly an emotional one as Racebest gathers himself for his speech::
Racebest: My mother always asked
me what I would gain from being at the Acorn Café…well LOOK AT ME NOW!
::He holds up the award with a huge smile on his face::
Racebest: I feel so honored to win this award, it truly means a lot to me to know that I am indeed an influential being at the Café…and winning Most Likely to Succeed makes me feel like-
::Chip walks over next to Racebest::
Chip (whispers): Psst! Hey! You didn’t win ‘Most Likely to Succeed!’ You won Best Nutcase.
::Racebest turns and stares at Chip::
Racebest: Best Nutcase?!
::He continued to stare at Chip and then slowly turns back to the crowd with suspicious eyes. The crowd stares back, a bit nervous::
Racebest: EVEN BETTER!
::The crowd sighs together and relaxes::
Racebest: This one goes out to all my friends here at the Café, and the Rangers! When I first landed on this place I didn’t know what to expect, but was immediately comfortable with the welcome atmosphere and the caring personality that made the Acorn Café bubble with friendliness! Being the Best Nutcase for this year certainly shows that you can be yourself and be rewarded!
::He hoists up the award::
Racebest: This one goes out to you! And my family and friends and pets and the plants in front of my house, and my teachers…
Chip (whispers): Hey, how about we round things up…
Dale (whispers): But he didn’t thank the sun, the moon, or the stars yet!
::Chip glares at Dale::
Chip: Not now Dale! Please!
Racebest: And I thank the sun, the moon and the stars! Thanks again!
::The platypus walks off the stage, again high-fiving all the aisle patrons. Chip and Dale, almost but not quite having a fight, walk off stage, still "Am not!" "Are too!"-ing::