::As the applause from the previous award fades, bock's car makes his entrance. And what an entrance it is! bock's sits behind the wheel of a magnificent 1930 Packard Boat-Tail Speedster. This classic sports a Tan body with Maroon fenders::
::The 384cid Straight-8 makes hardly a sound as the car glides across the stage. The highlights glinting off the chrome wire-spoke rims would make a Disco Ball jealous. bock's stops behind the podium and exits the vehicle. As usual, he is impeccably dressed in a black tux. For once, he dons headwear in keeping with his attire; a tall silk hat. taking his place at the podium, he begins his presentation::
::bock's car is standing at the podium, about to give his presentation, when a young girl climbs on stage and walks up to him::
Mindy: Hello, Mr. Bearcat Man. Whatcha doing?
bock's: I'm about to give the Award for Best Characterization.
bock's: Because it's time for this award to be given.
bock's: Because we have a certain order in which we present the Awards.
bock's: So that we can keep things moving along smoothly.
::bock's is developing a nervous tic::
bock's: BECAUSE I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO VOLUNTEER FOR THE JOB!!!!
Mindy: OK, I love you. Bye, bye!
::Mindy skips away merrily::
bock's (muttering to himself): *I gotta start getting paid for this.*
bock's (to the audience): Cute kid, huh? I'm just gonna get right to the point.
The nominees are:
Chipmunks Standing In a Doorway, by Mr. Spumoni
Foxglove's Magic Show, by Stainless Steel Rat
Knight Rangers, by RR Crusader
Chipmunks Keep Falling on my Head, by Stainless Steel Rat
Pivotal Divide, by Mayhem
The Rangerillion, by Mr. Spumoni
bock's: And the winner is…
Dale (from the audience): Spu! Spu! Spu!
Chip (from the audience): Dale, don't start doing that again this year. You did it with The JAM back in '02 and with Fish when he swept the Awards.
Dale (from the audience): You're just jealous 'cuz you don't have a GA Awards tradition!
::The chipmunks get silent::
bock's: The winner is Mr. Spumoni, for "The Rangerillion"!
Spumoini (from the audience): Wow, really?
::The rat, having only just returned to his seat, stands up again. At once “Loser” by Beck begins to play once more, confirming the selection. The rat bounds again down the aisle::
::However, when Mr. Spumoni is about halfway down the aisle the voice of Mark Hamill suddenly comes over the audio system::
Hamill: This is the second year in a row that Mr. Spumoni has won the Golden Acorn for ‘Best Characterization of the Rangers’!
::Surprised by the interruption of his theme music Spumoni wheels about and stares at the ceiling. He instantly looses his footing and cartwheels onto the stage. As he lies there, upside down, something slips out of the pocket of his navy blue coat and lands on his nose::
Spumoni (looking at the card): Hey! It’s my acceptance speech for the exact same award from last year! Shows you how often I clean out my jacket, eh?
::He reads from it, still upside down and on his back. Yet when he speaks he is loud and clear::
Spumoni: It looks like I said that the best characterization of the Rangers was accomplished by Tad Stones and the hugely talented group of individuals that he gathered to himself in the construction of the Rangers and their world.
::He spins himself around so that he is once upright, and seated on the edge of the stage. He continues to read::
Spumoni: It also looks like I made a point that in our craftings we try to capture the essence of that world, and in looking to canon our works glow with the same light as the original.
::He looks up to the crowd, smiling::
Spumoni: I still believe that is true.
::With that he takes the Golden Acorn, waves to the crowd, and heads back to his seat. bock's gets in his car and revs her up::
bock's: I'm outta here. The bock's Rocks!
::bock's drives offstage::