Best Website Content

::Stepping back to the podium, NeoBat looks out at the audience who is staring at him with a collective look of shock on their faces::

NeoBat: What? So I happen to like domineering females. Is that so wrong”

::Hurriedly holds up a hand::

NeoBat: Don’t answer that!

::Looks off to his left and nods::

NeoBat: Okay, I’m getting the "hurry it up" sign from the boss. So without further ado, I’ll introduce our next presenters. Back home one is known as the loudest bat in the west while the other is known as the Dark Ranger. Ladies and gentlemen welcome Bedivere and Alexander Fairmont.

::Coming in from stage right and shaking hands and wings, the Fairmonts greet NeoBat::

Bedivere: Son, I thought that filly was gonna take your head off for ya!

NeoBat: Yeah, that kinda crossed my mind, too. But she’s really an affectionate thing once you get to know her.

Bedivere: Is that so? Then how about you introduce me to ‘er at the after party?

Alex: Uncle Bedivere, you need to act your age.

Bedivere: Percy, I may be gettin’ on in years but I ain’t dead! Like my pappy Gallopin' Gawain used to say, it ain't the years, boy. It's how you've run the race. And I'm raring to go, YEE-HAW!

Alex (Sighs): Uncle Bedivere, how many times have I asked you not to call me Percy?

Bedivere: What’s ya problem, boy. It’s ya name, ain’t it?

Alex: No, it isn’t. Percival is my middle name. Why can’t you just call me Alex like the rest of the family?

Bedivere: Because, I like Percy better.

Alex (Rolling his eyes): Fine. Can we please get on with this?

Bedivere: Sure, Percy.

::Grabs hold of the microphone::

Bedivere: YEEEEEEHAWWW!! HOW YOU FOLKS DOIN’ T’NIGHT?

::The audience yells back approvingly::

Alex (Snatching the microphone away from the Texan): Gimme that!

:;Replaces the microphone::

Alex: Now that the audience is sufficiently deafened we can get on with our presentation. This ol’ outlaw and myself are here to present the Golden Acorn Award for Best Website Content.

Bedivere: That’s right, big hoss. I’m here to tell ya that these here Rangerphiles are some really dedicated fans. Why their sites are just chock full of all kind of information, pictures, stories and the such. I mean, ya could spend half a lifetime goin’ through all of it!

Alex: (Smiles): That you could, you ol’ coot. Anyway, the nominees for Best Website Content are….Tanka’s CDRR Pages.

Bedivere: Russian CDRR Portal. Yip, yip!

Alex: The Ranger Wiki

Bedivere: WAM! My kinda site!

Alex: Rescue Rangers HQ.

Bedivere: Alain’s Rescue Ranger Petition. Sign it, you sidewinders!

Alex: The RR Calendar.

Bedivere: The Acorn Café. The big range boss of 'em all, YEE-HAW!

Alex (Fighting with the envelope): You’d think the idea was to get into the blasted thing. There we go. And the winner is…the Russian CDRR Portal and the Ranger Wiki!

::Ruslan comes up on stage and Bedivere slaps him on the back, knocking him down::

Bedivere: Way to go, hombre!

Ruslan: I am glad to be receiving this award. The Portal represents the work of many people and I will not take credit alone. This is for all who have contributed to it over the years. Thank you.

::Lance returns to stand behind the podium after shaking hands with NeoBat again::

Lance: This is another one that I'm happy to accept on behalf of all of the Ranger Wiki's contributors... Here's hoping for an even bigger year of great new content during '07!

::Lance retreats with smile and a wave of acknowledgment to the audience. Alex watches the winners happily leave the podium, then turns and finds his uncle missing::

Alex: Where the heck did he get off to?

NeoBat: He headed backstage to meet up with Anna.

Alex: Oh, no! Well, I’d best stop him before he cheeses her off.

NeoBat: Actually, he’s doing rather well with her. This is just too sad. Your uncle is beating my time with Anna.

::Alex shrugs and sighs::

NeoBat: Wanna go and get a little drink?

Alex: How about a lot of little drinks?

NeoBat: Sounds like a plan.

::Waves to the audience::

NeoBat: Later!

::NeoBat walks off with Alex::