Best Verse (Russian)

 

:: A bright light is directed on the podium in the center of the scene, leaving the remaining part of the stage practically in darkness. Lavayni and Ruslan come to the stage. Lavayni heads for the center, Ruslan stays off to one side.

 

Lavayni reaches for the tribune, adjusts her hair and attentively looks over the auditorium. Then she starts::

 

Lavayni: I am glad that you all came today here to meet me.

 

::The audience is a little puzzled, but a few polite handclaps are heard here and there::

 

Lavayni: The point is that I am to announce a winner in the nomination for the best poem in Russian. I know that some people consider me evil and selfish, but luckily the organizers of this show understand that only such delicate and sensible person as I am has a right to name the winner of this undoubtedly the most romantic nomination of tonight.

 

::Mistrustful rumblings are heard from the audience and Ruslan smiles skeptically::

 

Lavayni: BLEEP, I lost the list of finalists!

 

Lavayni (turns to Ruslan): Do you have a copy?

 

::Ruslan extends a paper sheet silently. Lavayni snatches it out and quickly returns back to the lights::

 

Lavayni: Let's have a look... who we have in the final... "Furry" by Bonev.

That must be about me! I'm furry!

 

Ruslan: Haven't you read it?

 

Lavayni: Well... I did not have time...

 

Ruslan: On the whole this poem is devoted to Gadget.

 

::The crowd applauds as the spotlights focus on Gadget, who's sitting in the first row. Gadget very evidently blushes::

 

Lavayni (angrily): I say I do not have time to read every nonsense! Surely this poem has no chance! What's next?

 

::Lavayni reads the next name and looks down at her feet::

 

Lavayni: Barefoot...I walk barefoot. I hope, this one [i]is[/i] about me?

 

Ruslan: Nope, it's not. Gadget also walks barefoot. It's about her.

 

Lavayni (indignant): And who's the author? Bonev again? Well, why are we wasting time on him? No imagination at all! I hope, the others will be more interesting. Oh, it looks better! "I love" by Sergey Gris aka Gray Cat. I hope at least he is able to think

and can choose a normal object for love!

 

::Lavayni closes her eyes and smiles to a camera in a complete confidence that all others, except for Bonev, love only her. This time Ruslan does not even have time to open his mouth, as the indignant voice of Gray Cat echoes somewhere from the hall::

 

Gray Cat: No way! I devoted it to Gadget!

 

::Lavayni opens her eyes and smile instantly slips down from her lips::

 

Lavayni: Are you mocking me? You called me, ME, to choose from this foolish verses devoted to this foolish mouse?!

 

::Indignant grumbling is heard in the audience. Lavayni tears the sheet, screams "Then choose yourself!" to gadget and leaves the stage. The lights are directed again on Gadget, who does not know what to do. Chip and Dale push her to the stage gently and Ruslan stretches out a hand and helps the mouse to reach the tribune.

 

Gadget (being sorry): Somehow it didn't go the way we planned…

 

Ruslan (smiles): Don't worry, now it's much better.

 

::The audience applauds in agreement::

 

Gadget: In any case, I'm very glad to declare a winner in this nomination. I've read all the poems (Gadget blushes) and liked them all. I think they all are worthy!

 

Gadget (turns to Ruslan): Can't we reward all of them as an exception?

 

::Ruslan helds out an envelope to Gadget::

 

Ruslan: Unfortunately, the rules don't allow for that.

 

Gadget (apologetic): I understand. Sorry, everyone. So, the winner is....

 

::Gadget opens the envelope and fishes out a paper sheet with the name of a winner::

 

Gadget: Golly!

 

::Ruslan runs up to her::

 

Ruslan: What happened?

 

Gadget: A tie! We have a tie! There are two winners: "Barefoot" by Bonev and "I Love" by Gray Cat!

 

:;Ruslan looks at the sheet::

 

Ruslan: Really! Wonders happen!

 

::Gray Cat smiles, crazed under the flood of light::

 

Gray Cat: Me?

 

::Then, stumbling and nervously pulling a tie because of embarrassment, goes to the stage. At this moment a wild scream  "Ye-s-s-s!!" is heard from other end of auditorium. It means that Bonev at last realizes what has happened.

 

Meanwhile Gray Cat already has come to the podium. (He obviously feels like a round peg in a square hole. However, his acting lessons at the actor/producer department of the Institute were not in vain and soon he pulls himself together).

 

He does not know at first where to put his hands, but then he receives his award from Gadget. Gray Cat kisses Gadget's hand and does not want to release it for such a long time that Chip and Dale begin to cough significantly.

 

Then Gray Cat takes a microphone::

 

Gray Cat: Dear colleagues, dear Rangers, lovely Gadget!

 

::The audience laughs gently at Gray Cat's enthusiasm::

 

Gray Cat: I never expected that I would ever be given such an award for my modest creation. I would like to thank my mother and dad for the creative genes. Also I thank the patriarchs of the Russian  fan community Coyote and Alex (also known as Zumki) for their work on the CDRR mailing listand also Silent Shadow and Tanka because they didn't let the list disappear. And also all members of the  CDRR community who have voted for my modest poem...

 

Thank you, friends!!

 

::Gray Cat bows and leaves to go offstage just as Bonev reaches the stage. Unlike Gray Cat he in no way manages to calm down - at first he rushes to hug Gadget making her cheeks dark red. Chip and Dale cough very very loudly, then Bonev takes his award and at last comes to the microphone::

 

Bonev:  I wish I could say something as well as my friend Gray Cat did... I am not sure whether Gadget needs my verses or not but from everything that I've ever tried to do for her, they turned out to be the best.

 

::The audience applauds as Bonev returns to his place in the auditorium. Ruslan helps Gadget down the stage to her seat in the first row between Chip and Dale, where the two eye all the rest of the males in the place with suspicion::