::Blacky and Whitey, two well-known critics from "Inquisition", appear on the stage::
Whitey: And why are we here?
Blacky: I've already told you, they're giving out the awards tonight. Golden statuettes. Gold-en! I want one too. I'm not worse than any of the others, am I?
Whitey: But why don't they simply give one to all persons interested?
Blacky: Hah, I saw the rules! They give awards for every trifle! For example, now it's time for the award for the best scribble. Just write a couple of pages of some nonsense and get it.
Whitey: That's impossible! Look how many people are there in the auditorium, probably every other one of them tried to write. And the award is given only to one. It means you must write something really good.
Blacky: Then the award would be given to Leo Tolstoy. I tell you, they give it just for nothing!
Whitey: I don't believe you. Not even all of the authors were able to get to the final. Look at the list--there are only seven stories!
Blacky: Well, and who's there in the list?
Whitey: Don't you have it?
Blacky: Me? I thought, you had it!
::At this moment the lights die out and the candles lit just in the air. The Great Inquisitor appears::
IP Guest: Here you are!
IP Guest (to the audience): Escaped from my Cellar, as you can see... I enjoy working for my public too much, and there're so many spectators.
::A plop is heard and Blacky and Whitey disappear::
IP Guest: So let me remind you the list of sinne... finalists:
The Sixth Ranger Series, IVM
They Need Me, Ul
The Rainbow Factor, Silent Shadow
The Winner of Princesses, Alex & IVM
Nip and Tuck Part 1: Headwind, Rockman
The Signal, Integrator
Dreams Come True, Silent Shadow
IP Guest: And now I open the envelope...
::There's a complete silence in the auditorium::
IP Guest: The awards goes to.. "The winner of princesses" by Alex and IVM! Wow, how quickly they ran up to the stage. I have a feeling they live backstage. All right, let's give them a round of applause. I finished my mission, farewell! I have to keep an eye on my
finalis... sorry, sinners, for they didn't elude work.
::Another loud plop is heard, the candles disappear, the lights go on, and Alex appears from behind the curtains. IVM follows him::
Alex (pushing his coauthor): Who will tell a speech?
IVM (loudly): I! I will!
Alex (surprised): Do you know English?
IVM: I know English! And German! And French!
Alex (sadly): Well then all right, then I concede you that right!
IVM (feeling he cannot stop): And Czech! And
Alex (getting mad): Then let me!
IVM (runs to the tribune and turns around): Ha-ha! Too late!
::Alex and IVM look at the auditorium. The spectators look at them from the darkness::
Alex (pokes up IVM): Begin!
::IVM feels that there
are only two phrases in his empty head left from school: «I’m and student» and
::The spotlight shows the first row::
IVM (brightens up, noticing Chip's jacket and Dale's red T-shirt): Dear Chipmunks!
::The searchlight goes farther and snatches out Gadget and Monty from the darkness::
IVM : And the Mouses, Rokfor and Gaika.
Alex (red-faced, in an angry whisper): In English!
::His whisper achieves the volume of roar of an enraged buffalo::
Alex: IN English!!!
IVM: I’m sorry! I'm glad to see Monterey and Gadget!
who sits on
Dale (confused): Zipper's a cigarette lighter? Well, that would explain a lot…
Alex (wrings his hands in despair): Zipper!
IVM (slams his forehead): Yes! Of course! Zipper! I am glad to greet you all at this grandiose party!
::IVM proudly turns to Alex as if saying «Estimate my complicated phrase!» From Alex's wry face he sees that Higher Forces should IMMEDIATELY take him deep into the Siberian forests, for not a single civilized person missed hearing his childlike babble::
::A plop is heard again, but the lights fortunately do not go out this time. The Great Iinquisitor appears again on the stage, holding some strange constructions under his arms::
IP Guest: Ah yes, I almost forgot, these are for you!
:And he disappears again. Alex find himself holding an intricate spiral with a golden acorn somewhere in the middle of it. IVM's hands squeeze the ssimilar treasure. The curtain is moved aside and Zumki—the princess in "The Winner of Princesses" appears::
Zumki (angrily): Look at these two. No shame! I'm the heroine of the story, and the award is given to nobodies.
Alex (uncomprehendingly): But for us you would not be here at all!
Zumki (hemming): Vice versa! But for me, you would not be standing here! So it's me who deserved the award!
::She bites Alex and IVM, who squeal loudly::
IVM (discontentedly): We created an adventure out of our heads. You are not a little furry character but one hundred roubles of loss!
::Then he notices that the acorn with which Alex had been reward has disappeared mysteriously::
IVM: Hah! She robbed you!
Alex (vindictively): Look at yourself!
IVM (discovers that his hands are suspiciously empty): What! When did she have time? Well, we'll not leave it this way! We will go after! C-c-catch!!!
Alex and IVM (escaping to the curtains and yelling together): Wait for us! We will return!
::The audience mutters at the sudden sequence of events and Blacky and Whitey bow then leave the stage::