::The curtain goes up and reveals CD who is sitting behind a desk, wearing a tuxedo::
CD: Good evening ladies and gentlemen to the Golden Acorn Awards evening news broadcast. I am CD. And now for something completely different.
::A picture of Stan Blather shows up on the screen behind CD::
CD: Stan Blather is suing the Golden Acorn Awards for a breach of contract. Mr Blather has been the event's leading reporter for several years including this year. But he feels that he, being the news reporter, should have gotten the opportunity for promotion and be the sole news anchor. The position had been promised to him by the head of the channel who said quote: "We'll see about that". Mr Blather is angry over the fact that the studio allowed a new applicant to rise to the position without any familiarity with the studio or even any school diplomas for journalism. The usurper, going by the name of CD-
::CD switches his papers, abruptly cutting himself off::
CD: And now for something completely different.
::The audience laughs knowingly as Clarice in the audience strums her fingers on her seat's armrest. CD sweats and turns over another page::
CD: And now for something completely different. Sport. Lance Armstrong has been passed in the Tour de France! Yet he keeps the yellow shirt. The jury all agreed that coming in 12th should have weakened his claim too much, but Armstrong keeps the yellow shirt. The organization talked to him to convince Armstrong it isn't fair, but Armstrong keeps the yellow shirt.
Then also in
The anvil that was dropped off a viaduct onto the presidential limousine of President Cheney caused a great outrage in the entire world. Premier Blair said it was murder. President Putin said it was an anvil. Other than the label "ACME Industries" the anvil yielded no clues.
And now for something completely different. Let's have the Best Narrative award. The finalists are:
Gadget in Chains, by Loneheart
Gadget's Hiccups, by Greyhound Bus and Pupspals
On A Wingnut And A Prayer, by Stainless Steel Rat
Due South, by RangeReady
Friends and Enemies, by Lightindark
The Lost Rangers, by Urthquake
::CD picks up an envelop on his desk and opens it::
CD: And now for the winner. It's-
::The band starts playing the Monty Python intro making CD unhearable. He frantically calls out to them, but is muted. Once the music stops the audience catches the last bit of CD's tirade::
CD: You will re-spect mah a-tho-ri-tah!
::He quickly returns to a more gentle and controlled mood and tries again::
::The theme starts again, but soon stops with a slow-down effect::
CD: Okay, let's try that again. The winner is...
CD: The Lost Rangers, by Urthquake!
::A burly grey-furred rat, wearing
a very nice tuxedo which looked as if it had been cut just for him, ascends to
the stage. He takes in the marvelously cavernous environs of the theatre then stands
behind the platform, his green eyes blinking at how... puny it seemed when his
large frame stood behind it. It's almost like he was Goliath about to
throttle David, and no cheese-eating skinny-boy with a sling was gonna stop him
THIS time! He steps up to the podium, wringing the gooseneck of the
microphone so that his voice could be better received and thus amplified::
::taps the mike, and winces as some feedback ensues, which makes his ears ring a bit; howling from the rafters could also be heard as the chiropterid segment of the audience is especially pained by the feedback::
UrthQuake: Sorry! Anyway,
thank you all for thinking I narrate the best out of all the nominees
here! I just write scenes the way I see them in my head. I don't
know why they come out so well; maybe it's cause I have a knack for describing
things; maybe I see things more vividly than others, maybe I just a really good
stock of fancy words and handy metaphors that I can pull out of thin air like a
um... pulls stuff out!
::Some laughter ensues, as Dale snickers that UrthQuake can't pronounce.. that word::
UrthQuake: Heh.. But really, The Lost Rangers, I think, needs good narrative description, much more so than many other Rangerfics. This is a fantasy world, after all, so there is the disadvantage of the audience not as readily believing in it as they would a real-world setting. But one thing I learned from studying and reading fantasy fiction is... if you describe your world well and paint vivid, colorful pictures with your words, the readers will see those pictures. They will find themselves in the world and they will have no choice but to believe in it!
::UrthQuake takes a moment to collect his thoughts::
UrthQuake: And really.. I'm just
getting started with the world of Roden, the setting of this.. great story I
want to write. There is so much more.. that I want to show you all; and I
hope my words will do the job well!
Thank you all!
::UrthQuake leaves the stage, hugging his award like it was worth all the gold in the world, whispering something about another story to CD as he passes him by; a little private conversation the subject of which only they know about...::