Dr. Batorious: And now, to present the award for Best Action-Adventure, here's--
::Suddenly, the sound of breaking glass cuts through the announcement as a crocodile smashes through a high window and begins to plummet toward the stage ad the audience gasps. transfixed by the sight.
As the croc falls closer a small figure can be seen astride the creature's back, holding a rope tied around its mouth and attempting to control the beast. The figure quickly throws another rope and lassoes an electrical rail above the stage, swinging himself and the crocodile around the beam, faster and faster, until the croc is entangled within the ropes, unable to free itself.
The figure slides down a free end of the rope to the stage floor, where it is revealed to be a portly mouse with a graying crop of hair and moustache, wearing a red sweater and a black Aussie hat. Monty is overjoyed at the sight of the newcomer, and the pair do some sort of bizarre secret handshake-like dance to greet each other, then give each other a manly hug::
Monty: DAD! It's good ta see ya!
Chedderhead Charlie: How's me favorite bucko doin'? Why, you haven't been back to the homeland since '82! Of course, neither have I! Ha!
Monty: That was some entrance you made! But how how did you know that there'd be some way to catch that croc?
Chedderhead: Aw, somethin' would've come up! 'Sides, I'm here to present the award for Best Action/Adventure, and what better way ta do it that with a bit of action of me own?
Monty: That's me dad!
::Chedderhead steps up to the mic.::
Chedderhead: As was shown 'ere tonight, action and adventure are essential to create an exciting story. The show itself was chock full of action, and my son's Ranger group always went on plenty o' adventures. That's why, as the greatest mouse adventurer of all-time, I'm proud ta present the award for Best Action/Adventure fanfic. And the nominees are:
Deleted Scene from ‘Last Train to Cashville’,
by Stainless Steel Rat
Troublesome Trucks, by Blackadder
The Good, the Mad, and the Dale, by Toni
Gadget in Chains, by Loneheart
Space Wars: The Ranger Parody, by KS
Nothing But a Gadget, by Indy and Chris Silva
The Iron Mouse, by Red Sonic
Chedderhead: And the winner is. . .
::Dale bounds onto the stage with the envelope, doing all sorts of action poses and movements: pulling imaginary guns, sneaking around, pouncing, rolling across the stage, etc. On one of his rolls he collides with the podium, temporarily knocking himself out.::
Chedderhead: Well, some've got it, and some don't!
::He reaches over and plucks the envelope from Dale's hand.::
Chedderhead: Like I was saying, the winner is. . .Loneheart, for “Gadget in Chains”!
:: The curtains on the stage open and reveal a backdrop with the Rescue Rangers Logo in the dead centre. The theme music from Indiana Jones strikes up. The lights go down and a spotlight fixes on the Rescue Rangers Logo and as the music swells the Logo explodes outwards as Chip Maplewood swings through the paper backdrop on a rope. He overshoots the podium but executes a perfect dismount on the back swing. The audience applauds. ::
Chip: Thank you, thank you everyone.
:: Applause dies down as Chip raises his hands for silence::
Chip: That was a great welcome. I'm going to be saying Thank You a lot tonight. I have to say thank you on Loneheart's behalf to those of you who voted for Gadget in Chains as the best Action Adventure of 2005. The story has been running for so long that it's been a nominee each year the Golden Acorns have been held. Last year it won Best Drama, this year it's best Action Adventure.
I guess the story has changed a lot in the last twelve months. I can only imagine what Loneheart has planned for the next twelve months… with dread. Especially since I'm now the one who looks likely to be carted off to jail. Sometimes I think Loneheart won't be satisfied until all the Rangers are behind bars. Of course that would only make sense if he were secretly Fat Cat in disguise.
:: Chip suddenly looks concerned::
Chip: Can cats type?
:: Very softly more music begins playing. It is just recognisable as the theme from Mission Impossible and steadily gets louder. Chip appears not to notice. ::
Chip: Seriously, has anyone checked that out? We never see him show up for any of these awards and has anyone ever seen him and Fat Cat at the same time?
:: Dale appears over the stage, dressed in a black leotard and ski mask. He is hanging from wires like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible. ::
Chip: After all, it would make perfect sense when you think about it.
:: Dale is being lowered towards the Golden Acorn, not smoothly but in little jerks at a time that are accompanied by squeaking pulleys high above. Chip appears not to notice, even thought the music is almost loud enough to drown out his musings now. ::
Chip: It's insidious! Any one of our enemies could be posing as a fan fiction author! It explains everything! All the Gadget Angst fiction and especially, most especially, why I never seem to end up with the Girl! At least, not nearly often enough!
:: Dale is within reach of the Golden Acorn. He lifts up his mask revealing his face to the audience and begins to peel the gold off revealing chocolate beneath. Audience begins to laugh. Chip notices and finally turns to find himself nose to nose with a hovering Dale. ::
Chip: Dale! What do you think you're doing?
Dale: I can't resist the smell of Ch – Chuh – Chocolate!
:: Dale's eyes seem to glow and spin as he says the magic word. Chip scowls and bops him over the head. Dale spins out of control until the wires break depositing him at Chip's feet. ::
Chip: You'll have to forgive him folks! It's an addiction! What with the postal system being this busy at Christmas, we had to send Lone's Acorn to him in advance of the ceremony. This Chocolate Acorn was meant to be a stand in.
Dale: Aw, you said I could have it!
:: Chip bops Dale over the head again. ::
Chip: Not until AFTER the show, you dimwit!
:: Chip turns back to the audience::
Chip: Ladies and Gentle-mice, Loneheart asked me to thank you all very kindly for reading his story which he hopes you have very much enjoyed. I'd like to thank Loneheart for inviting me to collect this award on his behalf, since Dale and I haven't had much to do in Chains. I also have to thank him for my starring role in his new fan fiction, “Caged Chip”…
:: Dale looks up at him in surprise. ::
Chip: …and if there are any lawyers listening… HELP!!!!
::Chip leaves the stage, looking
paranoid. Chedderhead and