Best Author

::A slightly shortish, slightly pudgy orange rabbit trundles onstage, and

stands behind the podium::

RONNIE RABBIT: ... well, ok, it's this kind of cheap self-insertion gag that's keeping me off of the 'Best Author' nominees list, most likely, but hey! I had to give myself SOME excuse to get backstage and see Gadget, right? >=)

::slightly uncertain laughter from the audience, unsure of what self-insertion has to do with the award ceremony. That only applies to written fiction! At least half the audience can empathize with the 'Gadget' part, though, so it all works out::

RONNIE: I admire everyone on this list of nominees, and they all deserve this award, for so many different reasons. Each brings their own unique touch to what so many people would call 'just a silly cartoon'. All of them find something different in those 'silly' adventures, inspiring them in wildly different directions. And those nominees are:

Stainless Steel Rat, who goes from gripping action scenes to tender personal moments with an ease I will always envy. His attention to detail always shows, no matter what he's writing.

Kevin Sharbaugh, who Forced me to love a story I was determined to dismiss as Yet Another Star Wars Parody Fanfic. His laugh out loud sight and verbal gags will always have power over the weak minded... like myself. @.@

Ol Doc' Indy and Chris Silva. Their work influences, I think, every author here who's read their work - they've all but become canon with their daring and intruiging relationships, and their ability to make every story truly seem like an Untold Ranger Tale.

Rachel Gloess - oooh, I hope I pronounced that right! Just reading her work got me past a year's worth of writer's block, as I suddenly realized 'C-G' was a romance. No one else had ever made me feel so strongly that these character's romantic relationships were so worth exploring.

and last... possibly, permanently, perpetually working on a single story I dearly hope to read the 'last' of someday! If Rachel moved me to romance, it was seeing Loneheart boldly go into such dark places that convinced me to write Ranger fiction to begin with - that convinced me someone else just might be interested in my not-so-Disney Afternoon ideas. In short, I blame all the angst on him.

And this year's winner is - (there is a brief scuffle with the envelope, after which the rabbit triumphantly produces his prize) - [someone who isn't me]!

[acceptance speech]

::Our happy winner lugs off his shiny award. Ronnie heads backstage with a hopeful expression to look for blonde inventors::

A duplicate of Chip starts making his way up to the stage. About half way there he looks down at himself and slaps his forehead. He comes to a stop, brings his arms out to form a horizontal circle with his palms together and chants some words. There’s a flash, and the figure of Chip has been replaced by someone larger, a large rat in a dark red leather duster and white shirt.

He comes up out of the audience to stand in the stage. He bears a passing resemblance to the Don Bluth version of Jenner, except Jenner didn’t have his right arm and leg made out of armour. It quickly becomes clear from the way he moves that these are prosthetics, and probably magically based rather than technological.

As he steps up to the podium he gives a wave with his mechanical hand. “Greetings everyone. Sorry about that, I came straight here from the set of the RRRPG. You can imagine how much fun that gets sometimes, especially now I’m directing Foxglove as well.”

He visibly stops himself. “I’m sorry, I’m rambling, any regular at the Acorn Café knows I tend to do that. I was surprised enough to be nominated for the Golden Acorn Awards in the first place, a newbie to CDRR fandom. Winning anything was not something I’d even seriously dreamed of, and as for being awarded Best Author, not ever. However I’m assured that otaku Foxglove’s leet computer skills had nothing to do with the final tally, so quite a lot of people must have thought I was doing something right.”

“I want to commiserate with all the other nominees. I’ve read their stuff and it is darned good. Of course I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m overjoyed to have been chosen. Thanks to all you great people on the Acorn cafe for giving me encouragement. I intend to write more fan fiction, probably over Christmas and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I do writing. Thank you.”

He shakes <Dr Indy> by the hand, using his furry paw, and takes his award.