::The stage lights dim momentarily. Unseen scuffing sounds emanate from the darkened stage, before the lights come back up, revealing a cardboard cut-out of Zipper, standing on the podium. His complete lack of animation is very unconvincing, as are the attempts of an unseen vocalist to mimic his buzzing.
Somewhere off stage, a familiar Australian accent can be heard, as someone's left a microphone on::
Monty: Whaddya mean, Monty and Zippah haven't checked back in yet? Oops, no, that's just one of the local stage hands. Calm down, gents! No need to get yer knickers in a knot. Me and me pally here just 'appened to get bushwhacked by a fierce sharp cheddah, tis all. Ah, nowvthat voice was definitely familiar. Aww, don't look at me like that, Zippah! Fine! It was just me, and ol' Zip here was just out searching! Happy now?
Can we get on with da bloomin' show already?
::The audience quickly composes
itself and breaks out into applause as
Jack and Zipper step (well, fly, in the case of Zipper) on stage, heading
towards the podium from stage right. They are resplendent in their very best
black tuxedos, the same ones they used when meeting newly-arrived cheese ships.
Monty removes his top hat and sets it on the podium, brim up::
::”We love you, Zipper!” squeal some groupies in the front rows, enthusiastically waving their home-made We <3 Zipper! signs. The fly blushes from the unaccustomed attention::
Monty: …and, err, yours truly are here tonight to be presentin' da award fer Best
Animation of 2005!
::Dale stands up on his seat::
Dale: RUS-LAN! RUS-LAN!
Monty: Hold on, mate! I gotta read through it all first…
::Dale grimaces while the rest of the audience laughs::
Monty: This category, though recent, seems to be getting more and more impressive by leaps and bounds, and we've got some real mind-blowing entries this yeer. Speak'n of leaps and bounds, that reminds me of the last time I was back here Down Undah. A pack of wild dingoes and I were…
::Monty breaks off his story as Zipper flies right into his face and waves franticly::
Monty: Er, well, maybe another time. Af'ta all, it's da winners who are suppose to be monopolizing ta mike, not us presenters, yehaha! The nominees fer Best Animation fer 2005 are:
The Russian animation team for New Adventures of Gadget Hackwrench
IP Guest for New Year Clip
Jon Lemerond and Foxhound for 3D Modelviewer for CDRR RPG
p.f. for Gadget listening to music
Lotacats for Smooth Criminal, Michael Chipson
Monty: And da winner is...
::Monty pulls the envelope from his top hat on the podium, before opening. Zipper then draws out the card inside, before flying up to the microphone. He buzzes something proudly. The audience mumbles in confusion::
Monty: Sorry pally, but I don't think most of 'em understood what yas was sayin'. Monty shrugs apologetically as Zipper first glares, then flies off stage left. What my pally was tryin' ta say was, 'Da winner's the Russian Animation Team for “New Adventures of Gadget Hackwrench”!
Artist and the rest of the Russian Rangerphiles who worked on the animation
come up on stage. Ruslan approaches the podium::
Ruslan: It was our very first try to create some animation, and we wanted to draw something that Gadget would like, without thinking of winning in any contests. This animation is about Gadget, featuring Gadget and drawn for Gadget. But we're glad that CDRR-fans like it. Thanks to all who voted for it.
::As one, the entire audience stands and applauds, cheers and hoots and hollers mixed in for good measure. Gadget smiles and blows them all a kiss. Each member of the team receives their award and holds it up proudly as they march offstage. Monty gives one last wave to the audience, when his moustaches suddenly start to twist. Some poor, poor soul has brought cheese within scent range of Monty. The portly Australian muscle mouse has just enough time to grab his top hat off the podium before he's pulled inexorably away::
Dr. Batorious: And that does it for the artistic part of the awards. Next will be the awards for written works. The Golden Acorn Awards will return after this…