::The bands plays the “Battlefield 1942” theme as Alexander Rockforanov, the sole Russian prince from CD's stories gets on stage.::
Alexander: I'm here to do the Rookie of the Year award, which goes out to the most impressive newcomer of this year. To be totally honest, by army standards none of you even qualify as 'rookie' but 'a waste of nutrients'. Okay, some given exceptions, but you don't want to be in the army nowadays anymore. Always fighting, fighting and fighting, most of the time amongst themselves.
::The audience laughs a bit before Alexander continues.::
Alexander: But that's nothing compared to schools yet. In my time it was still a do-able job, the pupils weren't armed yet. If you got a paper plane or sponge in your neck you could throw it back as hard as you could. Today's teacher can't even shoot back at their pupils.
Alexander: I'm especially concerned about the current
situation of people with a temporary residence who want to leave: prisoners.
Laugh it up, but when my grandparents ruled, they had the authority to set
people free every time a new emperor was crowned. What with all the political
::Even more laughs.::
Alexander: The only group the got more powerful and
motivated in the last century is the police. You can't travel from Tver to
::Yet even more laughs.::
Alexander: Well he certainly didn't laugh. He arrested me,
said I could make a phone call. So I call the captain who personally comes to
the precinct to bad-mouth th entire staff. "Do you guys think you're being
clever, locking up MY privates?" he shouted. And one cop replies
Alexander: Sorry for being a rookie comedian, but now you know the hilarity of being a newcomer. But really, don't ever put yourself up as one, bullies have a way of making it clear to you it's not easy being green. Now, who in this place is going to have his chest penetrated when I pin a medal on him?
::Alex takes the envelope and read the message inside.::
Alexander: This year's winner, or should I say poor victim, is Pupspals!
Pupspals: Woo Hoo!!
::She runs up to the stage, takes a flying leap, does an ice skating maneuver while in mid-air, then lands on stage. She takes the award gleefully::
Pupspals: Can't tell I'm happy, can ya?
::The audience chuckles. Pupspals tries to balance the 3 awards and the nut-case in her arms::
Pupspals: I have to be honest, I was kinda hoping for this award... This has been the first real on-line community I've been a part of & I'm proud to be called one of you guys, a Rangerphile, & a member of the Acorn Cafe!
::The audience applauds::
Pupspals: You guys have rekindled my obsessions with the Rangers. It seems like every time I would fall in love with a cartoon show something else would replace it. DuckTales was replaced by Rescue Rangers; Rescue Rangers held out for a long time but also shared time with Darkwing & Tiny Toons; Animaniacs came in for a while & ruled all while my fondness & collection of classic Chip & Dale ruled all.
During the Animaniacs time Rescue Rangers stopped airing on broadcast TV, my store-bought tapes were getting worn out, & I accidentally taped over my TV recordings of all but, like, 3 episodes of the rangers. But right before I found the cafe, my collection of Classic C&D really started to contain some classic Rescue Ranger stuff. My mom also got for me 2 copies of all 65 episodes recorded off of Toon Disney from eBay (one was bad reception with credits, the other was good reception with no credits).
From there I started to look at Ranger Websites which I had never seen before. I landed on Indy & Chris’ fanfics & noticed that the Animaniacs crossover they wrote spelled Squit's name wrong (it was Squib - you finally fixed it!!) so I emailed Indy. He invited me to the Cafe & I've never looked back! You guys have fanned the flames of my obsession & resurfaced years of trivia that was almost lost. I...
::The orchestra starts to play. Pupspals leans over to the orchestra pit and starts to conduct the orchestra. They follow her lead. She cuts them off & they stop playing.::
Pupspals: Hey, the conducting class did work! I didn't actually say thank you yet, guys! Anyway, Thanks to God, you guys for voting, the other noms: Jon Lemerond (of whom I'm slightly jealous of your group pic abilities), and of course Bock's Car 509. Thanks to my parents for putting up with my obsessions and especially to my mom for starting me on my C&D collecting spree....
::flashback: Christmas morning probably '91. Little Pupspals is on the floor awaiting the next present - holding her ranger C&D stuffed animals so tight they might bust, father is videotaping on HUGE VHS camcorder, mother is sitting in a chair::
Pupspals' mom: How would you feel if you had another set of Chip & Dale?
Pupspals: Oh, no. I could never replace these guys! I love them too much!
Pupspals' mom: (pulls out a smaller version of ranger C&D stuffed animals) Oh, well... Marry Christmas, they have twin brothers now!
:: Pupspals gasps & drops her old stuffed animals to see them. Then realizing what she did she grabs all four in her arms & gives them a big hug.::
::Flashback fast forward to about '95. Pupspals in her room sitting on her bed - although there's barely any room for her b/c there are so many C&D stuffed animals, mostly ranger but a few classic::
Pupspals' mom: How do you keep them all straight?
Pupspals: Easy! The originals are Chip & Dale, then you have Chip Jr., Dale Jr., Chipper, Dalester, Baby Chip, Baby Dale, Baby Chip Jr....
:: The list goes on & on. The names are similar but every one is different.::
::Flashback fast forward to last Christmas. Pupspals' gifts include CDRR presskits and DL Disney Afternoon Days posters & ads that her mom found on ebay::
::Back to current day Pupspals on stage giving speech::
Pupspals: ... and thanks also to my dad for watching cartoons with me, being a cartoon inspiration, and more! Thanks again! You guys are the best!!
::While leaving the stage she nearly drops one of her trophies while carrying them all in her arms. Audience gasps, but she somehow catches it in-between two fingers. After a sigh of relief she returns to her seat. Alexander salutes and walks of in brisk military cadence::