::CD gets on stage dressed in a regal cloak and ducal crown. The band plays Vivaldi's “Four Seasons”, but just a small part.::
CD: What about this get-up you ask? Go play NationStates in
"Oh Romeo, oh Romeo. Where arst thou Romeo?"
::The stand up comedy/drama gets a laugh from the audience. The get-up might have already pushed them to the breaking part already.::
Anonymous audience member: Nutcase!
CD: No, that's another category. I'm here for drama. And drama you'll get!
"What can Elvey Knight-at-arms, alone and pailey loathering. The sages withered from the lake and no birds sing."
Or how about MacBeth?
At night, MacBeth sneaks to the king's bedroom with a dagger, enters, and plunges his knife in the body of the king!
The king wakes up, saying:
"MacBeth me boy, what arst thou doing?"
"MacBeth goes pale, takes the dagger again and stabs!"
"MacBeth don't do that do me!"
"And MacBeth thinks, ‘Blast, this ain't my dagger’!"
CD: That has you stunned, does it? Even the British don't know their culture enough for medieval-class drama. I know what I'm talking about when drama is concerned, because I love every moment of it! I could tell that "Rhyme & Reason", "Untold Ranger Tales" and Rachel's fanfic in the works "Clarice Returns" are real heart-in-your-throat stories. Of course, there's a second reason why I like "Clarice Returns". But let's stop about Rachel before she becomes shy and get back to the point. The award I present goes to the writer that brought us to most well-done dramatic moments in his fanfictions.
"Dividing The Emptiness" from Winston
"Gadget's Quest" from KS
"Gadget Until Proven Innocent" from Morgan Kohl
"Gadget In Chains" from Loneheart
"Theo's Origin" from Indy & Chris Silva
CD: Hmm, that's a lot of Gadget angst in one category. My quasi-comical approach to drama might have been a bit misplaced. Anyway, here is...the envelope!
::CD holds up the envelope in triumph and then opens it. He yelps as he cuts his finger on the paper and a drop of blood soils his extravagant get-up. He quickly spits on the shirt the drop landed on and starts rubbing.::
CD: Out, out (censored) spot!
::After he's finished, CD takes the card and reads it, then places it back in the envelope.::
CD: My fingers wet, my fingers dry. God strike me dead if I tell a lie. This year's winner is—well, a tie! Between Loneheart for “Gadget in Chains” and Winston for “Dividing the Emptiness”! And here to pick up the award for Loneheart, straight from the set of Gadget in Chains, in keeping with tradition, Gadget Hackwrench herself!
::”Dragnet” music booms out from the auditorium speakers. Spotlights impersonate searchlights by sweeping wildly around the stage. Someone backstage cranks up a siren to set the scene for a "Prison Break" Gadget Hackwrench takes centre stage, her costume an antique jailbird's uniform marked with vertical black and white stripes, complete with a striped round hat and big black ball and chain fixed to on ankle.
Gadget: Wow, is that heavy!
::Gadget gasps when she finally reached the podium. Turning her head she calls to someone off stage::
Gadget: Hey, isn't this the costume that
::She looks at the audience in surprise::
Gadget: I guess I should just be thankful that he didn't send me on in a straitjacket and hockey mask again, huh?
::Nervous laughter from the audience::
Gadget: Seriously, though, I am glad to be here again, especially to pick up the award for Best Drama!
::The crowd applauds::
Gadget: Especially because of all the hard work that everyone involved in this project, including myself, have put in over the years… And it has been years now…
::Gadget's voice takes on a haunted note::
Gadget: Four years in fact… although it seems longer… much longer… I just keep waiting for someone to come rescue me from Shrankshore but nobody comes… not even to visit… I think they've forgotten me… do you realise Lawhiney has impersonated me in nearly every fan fiction released in the last four years? Someone help me please?" – She shook herself – "uh, anyway, I'd like to thank everyone for this award, which Lone says I can keep and that I KNOW I have earned!
::Gadget grins both at the audience and the award. The audience cheers and claps::
Gadget (yelling): When I get home again and finish putting the Ranger plane back together, it's going to have a great new hood-ornament!"
::She holds the award high::
Gadget: I know it's been a short speech everyone but I've got a quick costume change to do and it takes me twenty minutes to walk anywhere with this thing chained to my leg, so the orchestra is going to play you a little tune while I carry this thing out of here…
::Gadget frowns as a sudden thought struck her. She turns her head to call to someone off stage::
Gadget: Hey, how come you guys couldn't get a fake weight to attach to my leg irons?
::The reply is too quiet to be heard, except by Gadget. Her expression goes flat::
Gadget: What about my contractual obligations? I haven't tried to run yet, have I?
:;Again the reply is inaudible::
Gadget: LONEHEART SAID WHAT ABOUT NEXT WEEK'S SCRIPT??
::Gadget’s eyes go large in alarm and fury. Briefly remembering the audience she turns back to the crowd::
Gadget: Uh, talk amongst yourselves. I have to go and straighten somebody out about something and knowing him it could take some time…::
::Once more, Winston came up to the microphone::
Winston: Yeah, you know the drill.
::Never stopping, he spoke as he passed, then turned around and walked back to his seat again without breaking pace::
Dr. Indy: Not so fast, my friend—or maybe it’s just that you’re ready to see the next installment of your reward…
::CD takes a regal bow before leaving the stage, murmuring 'Gosh, this crown's heavy!'::