::As the crowd claps and cheers and whatnot, a steadicam
pans across them and then moves backstage, past props and various critters
hanging about, to focus on Crisscross.
He's dressed in a tux (and looking quite snazzy in it, top
hat 'n everything). He also looks completely nervous, tail hung low, shifting
from foot to foot. Gadget is standing under him, trying to adjust
his bowtie while he fidgets::
Gadget: Golly, Chris! I know it's your first presentation and all, but you don't have to worry so much. Now hold still, you silly fox!
Crisscross (still fidgeting): I know, sweetie. I can't help it! I've never done anything like this before. What if I screw up? What if I malfunction? You remember that time my hydraulics got accidentally recalibrated, and I accidentally shot my rear end off! We had to search the junkyard for hours to find it!
Gadget: Oh Chris! Nothing like that is going to happen. You're going to go out there and you're going to do just fine. Now, hold your head up.
::Chris does, and Gadget finishes looking him over::
Gadget (brightly): There! You look great!
Crisscross: I will admit, we foxes do look good in formal wear.
Gadget: You sure do! Now get out there and do a great job!
::Crisscross still looks a bit nervous, but is doing his best to hide it for Gadget's sake::
Crisscross: I'll try my best.
::The steadicam follows behind Crisscross as he trots toward the stage::
Dr. Batorious: And now, to present the award for Best Animation, Crisscross Alexander Flaversham!
Random Mouse Stagehand (to Chris): Break a leg, kid.
::Chris nods to him and walks out, smiling::
Random Mouse Stagehand: I've been wanting to say that all evening.
::Crisscross takes the stage. He looks about at the HUGE assembled crowd. He starts getting weak in the knees. Then he thinks of Gadget, and steels himself. He walks to the podium::
Crisscross: Hi, everyone!
::Immediate ear-splitting feedback noise. Everyone yelps::
::He adjusts something inside his voicebox so he won't interfere with the mic::
Crisscross: Testing, testing? Okay. Whew! Sorry about that! Um, as you've probably guessed, I've never done this before, so I'll just keep it short and sweet.
::He pulls the card with the nominees written on it out of his tux pocket::
Crisscross: The nominees for [insert category] are...
::Looks at the card long and hard. Puzzled silence from the crowd::
Crisscross: Paul Stanley, Peter Chris, Ace Frehley and Gene Simmons?!? Who the heck...
::He looks up to notice Dale laughing his furry little tail off in the audience::
Crisscross (growling): Pardon me folks, I have to go prepare some fresh Chipmunk Tartar...
::Chris leaps off stage. Dale squeaks in panic. Crisscross chases him all around the auditorium, even stepping on several of the other guests in their seats. Fox growls and chipmunk screams, amid laughter and shouts of confusion, fill the auditorium::
::After a few moments, Crisscross ascends the stage once more. His top hat is askew, his bowtie's loose, and he's got a red and yellow Hawaiian-print tuxedo in his mouth::
Crisscross (cheerfully): Have fun trying to get back in here in just your fur, Dale!
::He spits out the tux. Foxy comes up to retrieve it. Chris gives her a 'tell him there's no hard feelings' wink. She giggles and flutters off to find her birthday-suited 'munk. Crisscross addresses the crowd again::
Crisscross: Okay, now the REAL nominees are...
“The RR Slide Show”, Animated Malamute
“The New Year Clip”, IPGuest
“Trailer to 'The Collision of Minds'”, IPGuest
“Munks on Ice”, Lotacats
“Kissy Munks Revisited”, Lotacats
Crisscross: And the winner is...
::He removes an envelope from his pocket and opens it::
Crisscross (reading from the paper inside the envelope): Dear Crisscross; so how'd my snuggly-wuggly orange foxie do with the presenta...
::Stops abruptly, red-faced. The audience giggles. Behind him, Gadget walks up with the actual envelope. Her cheeks are Dale's-shirt-red::
Gadget: Um, I was going to give that to you after the show. Here.
::She hands him the envelope. He takes it and gives her a little nuzzle on top of her head. She smiles and goes backstage. Chris turns back to the audience::
Crisscross: You know, this is getting ridiculous.
::He eyes the new envelope::
Crisscross: I swear, if snakes jump out of this thing...
::He opens it, reads it, looks a bit surprised. It's the real deal::
Crisscross: And the winner is...IP Guest! Wow, good job! Come on up!
::At this moment the lights turn off and an absolute darkness comes to the hall::
Crisscross: What's happened? Indy, what's going on?
Indy (from somewhere): I don't know! Must be a
::Then suddenly torches light on the walls and the surprised spectators see that a mystic figure in dark overalls is softly moving on the stage clanging with chains::
IP Guest (with a sepulchral voice): <b><i>Where is it</i></b>?!
Crisscross: Oh, the award? Here it is!
::IP Guest takes his award and disappears. The stage is empty::
Crisscross: But how?..
Somebody from the audience: That's unfair! Bring
::At his moment a laud crack is heard and IP Guest reappears at the former place. He's gasping::
Crisscross: Sure... But where have you been?
IP: I returned to my cellar but some evil forces
followed me and wanted to steal off my award!!!
Crisscross (chuckles): Oh, don't mind! That was just your admirers who wanted to listen
to your speech and to get your autograph!
IP: My admirers? You want to say they wanted me and not my prec-c-cious?
Crisscross: Yes, you and your speech.
IP: Oh... Ok... I'm very greatful to Silent Shadow for his remarkable story that has inspired me to do the trailer and to Tanka for the promotion of my modest flash clip to the international stage. I also want to thank Indy for the organization of this interesting show and to all the spectators who watch it. My sincere gratitude to those people who voted for me this year and even more gratitude to those who will vote for me next year.
My greatest wish is that "Best Animation" became a permanent nomination and that more and more works were nominated every year. I also hope that in a couple of years this section will have almost as many nominations as Art or Fanfiction sections have (for example, the best short clip, the best romantic clip, the best moving portrait of a ranger...) Let there be more animation!
::The audience applauds in approval, then IP Guest leaves the stage and at this moment the lights turn on. All the spectators squint and rub their eyes. When they get accustomed to the bright light again the strange figure in dark overalls is seen nowhere.
Some people say that he has disappeared in the air again but the others say that he has just taken off his overalls and joined the other audience. But as nobody knows what IP looks like without his overalls (well, Tanka knows but keeps silent) nobody can tell which version is true::
Crisscross: Uh, I think we’re due for a break—I don’t like electrical outages…
::Crisscross and Gadget head offstage, looking around to see if IP Guest is returning::