::Back inside the auditorium, the capacity crowd rises and cheers as Indy, wearing a tuxedo along with his trademark fedora, walks out on stage and stands behind the podium. Behind him is a huge 10-foot by 10-foot big screen display, which reads “The 2nd Annual Golden Acorn Awards”::
Indy: Hey, you folks look like you’re expecting something!
::Whoops and hollers fill the place, and Indy grins back::
Indy: Welcome, one and all, the second incarnation of the annual awards ceremony to honor not only the Rangerphiles, but everything that makes a Rangerphile worth the while. Before we get going, I’d like to make some special recognitions of people who put in a lot of work behind the scenes to get this year’s awards ready. Jareth, Winston, please stand up.
::The auditorium spotlight moves, finding the two Rangerphiles in the audience, standing near each other::
Indy: This year, Jareth took it upon himself to design the new Golden Acorn awards, which will be sent to all the winners. He personalized one for each category. Here’s a sample of the new look on the big screen:
::The crowd applauds, and Jareth takes his bows::
Indy: Isn’t that great, folks? And Winston also deserves a big nod this year. He performed the thankless task of finding all the links to this year’s nominees list and sending them to me. Well, it’s not thankless anymore because I’m thanking him. Anyway, thanks Winston!
::The crowd applauds again, then Indy continues::
Indy: The Golden Acorn awards are a way of celebrating the unity and achievements of one of the greatest communities on the web today. Just being a nominee for an award with the caliber of people around here says something about you. But more than that, being a Rangerphile says something about you too. It’s a name that stands for quality stories, artwork and characters, and moreover for the good principles the Rangers themselves represent. Well, you didn’t come to see me, so let’s get things rolling.
::Dr. Batorious, the bat doctor from “The Untold Ranger Tales”, is again the announcer for the Golden Acorn awards. His deep booming voice fills the auditorium::
Dr. Batorious: And now, the first award, in the website category, Outstanding Achievement.
::Professor Norton Nimnul comes out in a tuxedo, the music
of “Back To The Future” accompanying him. As he reaches the podium he brings
out what looks like a magic wand. Nimnul holds it up and lightning bolts shoot
from it, wowing the audience::
Nimnul: Well, who says formerly mad scientists can’t make electrifying entrances?
::The crowd chuckles some, and Nimnul clicks the heels of
his shoes together, activating the elevator feature in them. Soon he is high
enough to look over the podium at the audience::
Nimnul: The Nimnul Stratus Shoes, on sale now at your nearly shoe store for 69.99! Get ‘em for next Christmas!
::The crowd begins growing restless, and Nimnul knows it::
Nimnul: Okay, okay—moving right along, I’m here to award the Outstanding Achievement award for the Rangerphile community. Hey, if there’s outstanding achievements to be done, it’s Nimnul who does them! I’m suing for a new category next year. But I suppose it’s only right to honor those who made a difference. After all, if they weren’t around, who would be left to appreciate my genius! The nominees are as follows:
::The big screen above Nimnul shows the nominees as he reads
Lotacats, for her many creative contributions
Fish, for “Of Mice and Mayhem”
Julie Bihn , for her longtime contributions to the Rangerphile community
Nimnul: Well that didn’t take long. Let’s see who won. It’s Fish!
::The crowd stands and applauds as Fish, who is for some reason seated in the second-floor mezzanine, bounds down the outer stairs and comes in through the main doors. He vaults up on stage, taking in the applause of the audience as he goes to the podium::
Fish: Holy cow---
::The audience laughs::
Fish: Although I’m honored to receive this- I must admit I feel quite the charlatan, since this was my first attempt at HTML, which I thought was a brand of hotdogs up until last year. I’m afraid I only learned just enough web design to string together 231 jpegs. I am in eternal awe of my fellow nominees, who I truly feel have a mastery of the craft. But since this may be just the first online slide show of its magnitude to feature Disney images other than “Aunt Gertrude and the Kids at Space Mountain” I suppose it may be slightly worthy of some notice.
::The crowd stands and applauds in response as the big screen behind Fish shows the cover art to “Of Mice and Mayhem”::
Fish: Special thanks to my friend/tech-support slave John Isley, who showed me the Dreamweaver AND Photoshop ropes. Thank you all!
::The crowd remains standing as Fish takes his award. Nimnul whistles to someone in the direction of stage right, and they bring his weather machine. The eccentric scientist gets on it, and flies up halfway to the ceiling before pressing a few buttons. To everyone’s amazement (and relief) the machine creates a rainbow bending over the entire stage. Nimnul flies off-stage, and waves to the clapping audience::