::Dale runs out on stage in a clown outfit::
Fozzie Bear (in the audience): Hey, that’s my line!
Dale: Aw, c’mon! Funny guys do imitations you know!
Fozzie: Yeah, and that imitation was nowhere near funny!
::The audience laughs and a bemused Dale takes the podium but puts it back, taking off the clown outfit to reveal his tux underneath::
Dale: Hiya, everyone! Best Comedy is my favorite category, because fun stuff’s what makes life great! Take George Burns, Milton Bearle, Jack Benny, Steven Wright. Take my wife—please!
::The audience laughs a little, but then Foxglove flies up
Foxglove: You have a wife?
Dale: No Foxglove, it’s just part of—
Foxglove: You do! Youdoyoudoyoudo! You’re a married munk and you’ve been flirting with me! I oughta flatten you!
Dale: NO! Foxy, you don’t understand, it’s—
::Foxglove hauls back to slap him to Kingdom Come, and then kisses him on the nose::
Foxglove: Gotcha, cutie.
::Dale is caught, flabbergasted. The audience doubles over with laughter as Foxglove takes her bows and flaps back down into the audience. Dale collects himself and faces the audience again::
Dale: Um, as I was saying…tonight I’m awarding Best Comedy. I think we’d better get to the nominees before it gets any weirder:
- “The Case of the Kitnapped Kat”, lotacats
- “Away from it All”, Stitch
::Dale brightens up again::
Dale: Oh boy, those were great! But how can you pick one of them to win? Oh yeah, you voted and all. Let’s see who won!
::Dale rips open the envelope::
Dale: And the winner for Best Comedy is—a tie! All right, both of them win!
::Lotacats comes up first, looking totally lost in the moment and surprised::
Lotacats: Dale will accept the award....with thanx...short and sweet.
~*~Dale accepts award due to role of “Picked Upon”...and then being the ultimate Hero.~*~
Dale: It has been a long journey to this moment.....very long as in another, alternate world. I have critically evaluated the meaning this will have to my life.
::Dale thinks out loud, muttering, “How do this in 20 words or more...”
Dale: This shows I can take it on the chin when the writers pick on me as unmercifully as this one does. She needs help. It may take some time....but....oh, gosh!! This is a trememdous moment right now!!
::Dale looks up, strumming his fingers on the podium::
Dale: I wonder if some Haikus would thoughtfully express my gratitude. No???
::Fat Cat comes back out on stage, obviously having lost his patience::
Fat Cat: Here’s the award. Take it!
::Dale moves closer to the podium::
Fat Cat: Try not to speak. Take the award. Leave the stage. And no Haikus!
::Dale protests as he’s hustled offstage::
Dale: They told me to come up with a speech...
::Lotacats waves to the audience as she takes her award and
heads off. A moment later, a furry brown otter named Stitch approaches the
microphone and taps it with
Stitch: *Ahem!* Thank you one and all for this Golden Acorn, which I’m told contains real chocolate inside.
::The crowd laughs and he continues::
Stitch: I’m tremendously pleased that my very first fanfic has won an award, and while I never really saw it as a comedy myself, it’s an honor to know that it was enjoyed and appreciated by so many fellow Rangerphiles. I am both humbled and encouraged, and for that also you have my heartfelt thanks.
::Stitch takes his award and heads offstage, while Dale attempts to get back onstage to give a speech. Fat Cat pulls him back, and mentions something about the dessert tray in the break room. They two candy lovers head off together::