::The stage lights dim and a single white spotlight shines down on the podium. A shadowed figure walks in from stage left and steps into the light, revealing a grey rabbit with a somber look on her face::
Evil Rabbit: The villain’s life is one of great heartache and sadness. Oh, to go through life having no one appreciate your insightful genius and determination!
Nimnul (from the audience): Tell me about it!
::Her voice grows louder and melodramatic::
Evil Rabbit: Oftentimes, a villain’s life is a lonely unfulfilling existence, wrought with disappointment and failure. But this doesn’t scare a true villain, for a true villain does it because he has to...oh and some do it for the chicks too.
::Evil pauses, allowing for laughter, but there is only silence::
Evil Rabbit: O-kay.....
::Evil takes out a small dictaphone and speaks into it::
Evil Rabbit: Note to self; fire my speechwriter.
::Evil returns the tape recorder back into her pocket::
Evil Rabbit: Alright, alright, time to get to what you all have been waiting for. No, not the afterparty, the presentation of the Best Original Villain award. And the nominees are:
Ferrante, from Fish’s ”Of Mice and Mayhem”
Jade, from Winston’s “Dust and Ashes”
Evil Rabbit: and the winner is......ME!
::Evil grabs the award and runs offstage hurriedly. Indy comes onstage almost immediately, dragging her by the ears back to the podium::
Indy: Read the <I>real</I> winner please!
::Indy looks at her sternly. Evil pouts::
Evil Rabbit: Fine, fine. And the REAL winner is......Ferrante, from Fish’s “Of Mice and Mayhem”!
::Ferrante gets up in a giddy fit as Nimnul, Macmillan, and Winifred look on, disgusted::
Ferrante: HA! You HATE me! You really really HATE me!
::Ferrante runs to the podium, holding up his award in triumph. He points at MacMillan::
Ferrante: IN your FACE MacMillan! Looks like I'm gonna be written into the sequel after all, eh, smart guy? Eh? HAHAHA! SO much for that "guard duty in Siberia" explanation of my absence. The people have spoken!!!
::Ferrante settles down some now, the glow of victory upon him::
Ferrante: My condolences to Mr. Clean and that guy from Smashing Pumpkins, who were also up for the role. Thanks, Fish, for taking a chance on an unknown.
::Ferrante begins polishing his award, seemingly forgetting everyone else::
Ferrante: Hope nobody finds out I was named after Yellowjacket's keyboardist Russell Ferrante, Fish's favorite jazz fusion band, in a moment of uncreative weakness while desperately attempting to name us all after we'd been on paper for years. Whatta jazz geek.
::The audience laughs, and Ferrante suddenly recalls that he and his award aren’t alone::
Ferrante: OK- party on, dudes, I'm OUTTA HERE!
::Ferrante runs offstage, holding his award high. Indy escorts the female lagomorph toward the curtain, lecturing her about controlling her evil tendencies::