::Walking in from stage left, NeoBat moves to the podium. He looks over the audience at faces that he’s come to know quite well. As the applause dies down he smiles and begins::
NEOBAT: Well, well, we’ve made it through another year and to another Golden Acorn Award ceremonies. Once again I’m honored to be asked to be here at this function. I see quite a few relatively new faces and I would like to whole-heartedly welcome them. Now without further ado to present the nominees for Best Use of a Series Character (One Shot), Ms. Alicia Ravencroft and Mr. Alexander Fairmont.
::From opposite sides of the stage the two neos glide in almost silently. From the right the reddish-brown furred Alex is dressed in a black suit. On the left breast pocket is his own personal crest, the dragon-headed hilt of his sword Draco over a black silhouette of a bat’s head. Beneath that the inscription reads Chiropterid Infernum::
::From the left the albino, Alicia, is dressed to the nines in a form-fitting rose colored evening gown that matches her eyes. Her white, shoulder-length hair is pulled back into a ponytail. A touch of rose eye shadow and blush gives her face just the right amount of color::
::Together they flare their wings as they reach the podium. Alicia lands as light as a feather, while Alex lands with a bit of a thud that the microphone helps to amplify. Straightening up, Alex taps the microphone::
Alex: Hello, is this thing on? Good evening folks. Before we start I would like to address something. Those of you who were here last year remember that NeoBat got on my case for showing up in my body armor. Well, as you can all see I’m in a suit.
Neobat: And quite the well tailored suit at that. Almost didn’t recognize you earlier.
Alicia: And you wouldn’t believe what it took to get him in that suit! It was nothing short of an act of magic.
Neobat: Do tell.
Alicia: Well you see, we know this young…
::Alex appears embarrassed::
Alex: Lishi…Honey, these folks aren’t interested the goings-on at home. Let’s just get on with it. Okay?
::Alicia shrugs, as if thinking it would be a great story to tell::
Alex: In the category of Best Use of a Series Character (One Shot), the nominees are…
::The big screen shows the nominees in sync with the presenters::
Alicia: Winifred from The Return of Winifred.
Alex: Foxglove from The Return of Winifred.
Alicia: Lahwhinie from Gadget In Chains.
Alex: Tammy from Dust and Ashes.
::Still more applause. Alicia hands Alex the winner’s envelope. The neo pops one claw and uses it as a letter opener. The audience gasps a bit at this action::
Alex: Hey people, you should see me at parties!
::The audience laughs in return as he hands the opened envelope back to Alicia::
Alicia: And the winner is…a tie, between Foxglove and Winifred, for “The Return of Winifred”!
Best Use of a Series Character (one shot):
::<a href=“http://homepage.mac.com/bed666/20-Open_Your_Heart_Reprise.mp3”>Open Your Heart</a> (0:48 into it) plays. The crowd cheers as Foxglove, a look of shock and surprise on her face, flies to the stage::
Foxglove: Thank you! Thank you, everyone!
::The crowd continues to cheer as Foxglove accepts the award, causing Foxy to cry a little before the cheering finally dies down::
Foxglove: Thank you…
::She pauses for a moment, to emotionally gather herself::
Foxglove: First I’d like to apologize to the nominees who didn’t win… No hard feelings?
Lahwhinie (from the audience, sarcastically): No, really it’s okay. It’s not like I lost two years in a row or anything.
Shaka-Baka: But I thought you—
::Lahwhinie elbows him::
Shaka-Baka: Ow! That hurt.
Lahwhinie: I was being sarcastic!
::Foxglove starts talking again, regaining the audience’s amused attention::
Foxglove: Well, anyhow… I’m very honored to receive this award. I went through so much in this story; not just physically, but emotionally too.
::A faint “FOXY RULES!” (Dale) can be heard from somewhere in the theater, resulting in a few laughs, Foxglove among them::
Foxglove: I’m so glad people continue to keep writing about me, even though I was only in one episode... I’d like to thank all of my friends, especially you, Dale, and everyone who has ever written about me. I’d also like give special thanks to the author, Jareth, who…
::Foxglove begins looking around)
Foxglove: Who I guess hasn’t arrived yet, but I’m sure is on his way.
-::Somewhere, in a land, one step removed from reality…::-
::Jareth, looking frantically around his throne room, kicks any goblins out of his way: <a href=“http://www.mindspring.com/~buckman/19.jpg”>Where’s my cane</a>?!
Random Goblin: Which one, sire?
Jareth: Which w—THE ONE WITH THE SKULL! You know, the ONLY one I own!
::Jareth kicks the goblin out the window in disgust and sighs::
Jareth: I don’t believe this.
-::Back in the real world::-
Foxglove: There are so many other people I’d like to thank, but there’s one in particular who I think—and apparently you do too—deserves special recognition. The entire reason the story happened in the first place, Winifred!
::“Poison” by Dust for Life plays as Winifred flies over the audience on her vacuum cleaner, touching down on the stage. People applaud, but not nearly as loud as they did for Foxy. Winifred, hopping off her vacuum, snatches her award and approaches the podium::
Winifred: You like me, you really like me!
::Applause abruptly ceases::
Bud (from somewhere in the theater): Go Freddy!
Winifred (scowling): I told you NEVER to call me Freddy!
::Winifred whips out her scouring brush and fires some lightning into the audience::
Bud (from somewhere in the theater): Yeowch!
Winifred (calming back down): Well, I’d like to take this time to thank… NONE OF YOU!
::The audience jumps at her quick change in tone::
Winifred: Nobody ever uses me in their stories! NOOOO, the only villains you ever use are Nimnul and that bloated cat, and when you don’t feel like using either of them as the villain, YOU MAKE ONE UP!
::A few people laugh::
Winifred: No, it took a fellow sorcerer like Jareth, to—
Foxglove: You’re not a sorcerer.
Winifred (growling): A fellow MAGICIAN like Jareth to realize my true potential as a villain. Up until him, no one had ever bothered to use me as an antagonist; too stupid I suppose… I’d like to point out that the FIRST story I have a decent role in, I win an award for it!
::She pauses to calm herself down::
Winifred: I’m so happy that someone finally decided to explore MY past, and develop ME so much more as a character. Perhaps this is the beginning of the fandom that I deserve. Who knows, perhaps someday soon, there will be a Winifred Feature!
::The audience shudders at the thought of a “Freddy Kiss” game::
Foxglove (encouragingly): Maybe.
Winifred: Shut up. Nobody cares what you think.
Foxglove: Yes they do, and I’d like to thank them all for their support.
::The audience applauds as Foxglove flies off with her award::
::Suddenly Winifred clasps her hands around the mic, creating a deafening feedback and causing the audience to scream and double over, cringing at the horrible sound. Winifred cackles evilly as she mounts her vacuum and flies off with her award. It takes a minute for everyone to recover, especially the neos, whose bat ears were especially rung by Winifred’s display::
Alex: Before we go I’d like to thank Indy and security guys for allowing me to come back after the little misunderstanding of last year. See most of you at the after ceremony party. I’ll be the neo passed out in the fruit salad so just eat around me.
::Alicia shakes her head and follows Alex as they launch themselves into the air and glide behind NeoBat as they leave stage right::